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you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down.
skin by: Jane
Monday, May 31, 2004 @ 6:16 PM
Official Holiday starts NOW!

Well.. Today is the beginning of the June Holiday. I’ve been looking forward to it at the beginning of Term 2 and din even think about it in the middle of Term 2 and dread it at the end of Term 2 ( cause like sch too mych. Er.. ) hmmm.. How should I put it? This yr’s holiday, the feel is completely different. I do not feel the holiday atmosphere. Esp at the end of the term, that Friday. Maybe cause I wasn’t in sch, only went back for report book, and it’s really weird. This isn’t the way I actually used to end a term. It used to be like a group of friends, talking excitedly and so on, you know the usual scenario, but this yr, it’s so different. I mean, some were over at Pahang, while others are at the SPD, and the rest are helping out at sch?!? ( jealous.. ) Oh well, it’s bad to be so depressed at the beginning of the June Holiday ( I’m not at all depressed, but dunno why my intro juz sound so depressing.. I’m quite happy now, you know? Haha.. Listening to Hasayaki some more.. haha.. )

Ok, today I went to bedok with my mum. Yup, actually din plan this. It was I woke up late, then my mum ask me wad I wanna eat. So I said chicken rice from bedok? Then she said, ok, so let’s go. And so we went. And ate fish bee hoon ( did I juz say I wanted to eat chicken rice? ). Haha.. Anyway, we ate and ate, very crowded, tat place, and I dun like crowds. Haha. And that fan with the cold air was blowing on me and dunno why there were water droplets somemore. Too cold already, I think. Haha..

So after that went shopping and so on. Saw the shoe that I wan and end up seeing that it dun have my size ( again.. ) haha.. then went to Bata and saw the shoe that I saw at Tiong Bahru ( but b4 that, I went into sportslink and saw a Nike shoe, and this Bata shoe’s design is exactly the same as that Nike shoe, kopicat.. well.. dunno who copied who, but I believe it was Nike that was the original one, afterall, it’s the one that’s more ex.. $123.95, I think.. haha.. As compared to Bata’s $39.95. But Bata’s colour is yucky. I mean I like those colours there, but it’s so obvious its for guys. Silver and dark dark blue. Whereas Nike 1 is for girls. Light blue and white. Haha.. But I ain’t buying anway. )

Quite boring larz today.. haha.. as you can tell from my tone. Went home, then like 5 something lidat. Then I played one round of CS, this time I become terrorist and performed badly. ( I always play CT and now wan to try something new, then found I dunno its weapons well and I dunno how to get to the main battlefield from this T base. And I got lost, yeah. ) So I followed this bot ( bad bad decision ) and it walked, yar. And walked. And suddenly, turned back to the T base. And made one big round ( same route again.. ) this muz be the beginner bot.. I shld have followed that god-like mode bot.. haha.. but I dunno which is which. So I played and scored badly. I always buy no weapon, only that pistol’s bullet. And hid behind my teammate bot and yar, shoot ( and killed 4 too using that pistol ).. When either my teammate die, or the CT die, I go get the weapon ( usually I’m not interested in my teammate’s weapon, but I need a temporary weapon though, till I get hold of a CT weapon.. ) once I even got a bullpup ( my fav ).. haha.. reminds me of the nice cozy corner I would usually be as a CT with this gun and anyone who passes thru that tunnel dies. I haven missed a shot with the bot in my com so far. Maybe the god-like mod bot isn’t that sstupid to walk this way ba, if it did, I dun think I can survive anway. And I scored badly too.. 43 kills and 17 times dead. Well.. This teaches me to either train up on being a T at de_dust, or nv touch it at all.. haha..

So after I played the game, then here I m, at this blog, after all, nothing else to do.. Hmm.. maybe I shld start on my bio quiz soon.. But I feel like revising 1st, then do, or maybe I should not ( since I’ll nv revise, keep telling myself, yar, going to revise, but nv once in history have I actually carried it out.. let’s see for a miracle.. haha.. )

I think I may write in another entry later on.. I dunno. Or maybe juz combine with tomolo’s entry. Anyway, that’s all..

YS’s say of the day: If you think you are correct if everyone else thinks you are wrong, but you’re correct, then good, got confidence.
If you think you are correct but everyone says you are wrong and you are wrong, then you are juz a stubborn rubbish.. ( familiar? )
If you think you are wrong, but you are correct, you lack confidence.
If you think you are wrong, and you are wrong, why, I think dun think anyone in the future, since you’re always wrong.. haha..
Ok, this say of the day is not as fanciful as last time and it’s meant to be a lame joke, but juz to brighten up anyone’s day that bother to even read this lame thing.. haha..

Quoted: 但是我存在着 我一直存在着 不管是风的 气的 我守着 我紧紧守握着
No matte what happened, dun lose hopes. No matter how hard the obstacles may be, you have to hold on to hopes. Because one day, you’ll overcome it and become and better person. Do not doubt it. And the reason is simple. Because you 存在着.




Sunday, May 30, 2004 @ 10:14 PM
PeRfEcT DaY.. ( er.. )

Well.. Almost.. haha.. I gave myself a break today (mainly cause I was quite sick too). So, I decided to install CS on my new com ( I know it’s outdated.. but.. good games are nv too late to play, rite? ). Then I went searching the whole of internet for the Real Bot for about 1 hr. ( I really have no idea where to look for it, if you do know, pls leave a website here, so next time can reduce my search time. ) Anyway, yar, I found the bot in this real strange website and downloaded it ( hope no virus.) And it got installed successfully. But I do not know how to activate it, so I searched all over my com for that readme file that was supposed to be there, but well, wasn’t.. =( And in the end, guess what? I have directed the file into the half-life folder instead of the CS folder, so searched for nothing.=@ haha.. but anyway, I read through it, and sort of hoped that I understand, and I did! ( surprisingly) So I got to play with the bots (alas)! I started my very first game on my own com, with 20 players and in the map de_dust ( any others that I ever knew how to play and not get giddy? ) So means I played with 19 other bots and they were typing all sort of RUBBISH and it irritated me so mych, that I think I went crazy and asked them to shut up so many times ( ever heard of bots responding to your command? ) haha.. And some of them were speaking in vulgar language ( which made matters worse). And I hope to get the Ah Beng sound too.. ( anyone knows where to get? It’s like the usual talking thingy on CS, but the El is replaced with Hokkein.. real shiok and cool, first time I heard, almost laughed till I cried.. Think 4 yrs ago? ) yar, my skills deteriorated ( expected lah =) ) cause like 3 yrs nv really play it for real.. ( only some times like play for the sake of playing, u know those kind, not serious.. ) so ended up in a game of like 45 mins, only had 69 kills and even died 7 times.. ( bad bad.. play with bot, can die 7 times?!?! ) but anyway, still lead ( if I din, I think I can juz go and jump off a building somewhere.. =| ) haha.. So in the end, I got bored.. No human player = sianz.. Can’t play the LAN at home cause got no other ppl to Lan with me, and internet cannot too.. ( cause of some prob .. =x )

So immediately after I ended, my family and I went to the World’s Book Fair at the Suntec Convention Hall.. I wanted to sit the shuttle bus to directly the entrance, and my father insisted on walking that city link. So I followed. Din feel like argueing on this small issue and besides, new experience by walking and can see what’s in the city link.. haha.. So we walked. And we walked. And we WALKED! And we WALKED!?!?! But so long haven got to our destination ( only then did I know my dad did not know the way there !!!! ) haha.. So in the end, instead of looking at the shops I was looking on top of me ( the signs ) telling me where to go. Finally we reached the end, and the arrow pointed out to a door. So ok, we went out, but my dad insisted on walking in this particular direction ( which eventually led us to the Suntec City Shopping Mall or dunno wad you cal it.. ) haha.. And in the end, we passed many places, with the help of signboard and finally reached the correct place. Phew! -_-“

Ok, so my parents and I went in and the 1st stop was the China Chinese books. Went to have a look but apparently, there were too many people around and I got tired trying to squeeze through. Though there were quite some interesting looking books, I do not think they were worth for $$. The cheapest was I think $6? And it’s those kind of boring stories that I doubt I’ll be interested in ( no detective stories some more ). So I went along to other stations ( din have much impression on the some ). And at one station, met the Ming Yu Fa Shi ( the monk on the charity show on Channel U, sliding down the building and so on? ). Yar, he was smiling ( as usual ) and talking to some kids. Think either visiting this Buddhist station or maybe he was stationed there all along.

After that, I moved on. And came to the Big Bookshop station. Hurray! Months since I last seen it ( after I said it would close down, the branch at bedok closed down shortly. So did Popular. Better stop my mouth. Haha. Oh yes, this reminds me. I passed MPH today, and regretted not bringing my voucher along. Hmm..means I got to go there specially again. Nvm. Haha. ) ! So I went there and bought quite a no. of books ( less than 5 though, or at most juz touch 5 ). Then paid for it and so on. Then moved on.

Move and move and move..haha.. and went past many station but 4got wad went on. But I know I went to one station and they sold VERY cheap story books. Imagine a THICK THICK INTERESTING book that I once bought for $3.90, now sold at $1 only. But did not really bothered to go buy, cause I know I won’t read it anyway ( the one bought last time is rotting away somewhere as time passes ). Think the intro not very nice and it’s a xu ji of the previous few books so like mei tou mei wei, very diff to understand, and by the time I walked there, I was quite giddy from the crowd, so can’t concentrated on thinking If I want or not. So gave that a miss. Anyway, came to another cheap book station. Sold really really cheap books. Haha. Quite. For an aveage sized book, half chem. Tb, it’s $0.50. those more famous one is $1. Those that had been screened on tv b4, it’s $2. Cheap though. And I bought the ANIMORPH’s MEGAMORPH! I know it’s childish, but I remember when I was a kid, I was searching high and low for this hard to get book, so now since I caught sight of it, shouldn’t let the book slip by my hand. Haha. So bought it. At $1 only, woo. Cheap. Haha..

After that I din buy any more books. Came close to buying a Chinese book, but really too ex, and I dun think I’ll be interested in the content. Just that the cover page very interesting. Haha. So not very worth spending like $7 for a cover page huh? Haha.. So looked around, saw shoes, and keychains, and those inspiring cards and so on, but din buy any, cause it was placed at the counter and whenever I juz went near, the woman there would be staring at me, so I’d rather give that a miss rather than been treated like a thief or something? ( this reminds me, ain’t them afraid their things might get stolen or things like that? But then again, would anyone who read, steal? But then again, nothing is impossible. Haha. ) oh, yes, realize now I dun have mych … but juz a normal fullstop? Well, I think it would look neater, though I would sound mych more serious, but, hmm. Yar, it’d make my blog look shorter ( but in actual fact, longer, cause no xtra space taken by these …, but still almost same length or juz slightly shorted. )

So in the end, I din spend more than $10. er. Haha.. weird, isn’t it? Then we went to Bread Talk and we spent $10.40 on bread. Erm.. haha. That’s quite very strange, isn’t it? But the sausage bread with the chili sauce one really very nice, I bough 2.. haha.. So. Overall, my impression of City Hall: It’s too mych for the high class people to go there, so I doubt it’s a good place to go to, everywhere, people are so rushy and serious, seldom do you see ppl actually shopping leisurely, they seem to be juz walking without a expression.. dotz.. too cold and feelinless.. haha.. here at bedok, ppl create noise, not so serious, so I really feel more comfortable here.. haha.. and the book fair wasn’t something that I tot would be as in those teens books.. quite boring and disappointing too.. haha..

YS’s say of the day: ^.^ Do not try to be a busybody, cause if you are, then others will also be a busybody about your affair. As the saying goes, what goes around comes around ( if there were this saying in the 1st place.. er.. ). Haha..

Quoted: “劝自己要放手 烧掉日记重新来过” In life, we have to give up some things. We can’t, but we have to. It just have to be reduced into ashes and be brought away with the wind. Only then, can we start anew and continue living our lives.



Saturday, May 29, 2004 @ 9:56 PM
Chemistry ROX!!

Ok, I dunno why I made that my subject, I’m not talking much about it now.. haha.. maybe juz a bit ( if u think it’s really only a bit, then.. ) Chem.. since I’m on it, muz talk more and more about it.. muahahha!! It’s my FAV!!!! + FAV!!!! +FAV x 10000000!!! Subject.. haha.. juz can’t wait for lessons to start ( better if sch re-open on tues, cause Chem is 1st period.. ).. Why no chemistry hm huh?!?! Brrr.. Nvm, I go zi tao ku chi, try finding something out of nothing.. set some questions for myself to do.. haha.. Don’t u think living in the world of atom ( not referring to that atom..if it’s that atom, I think I’ll go too nervy man, but nevertheless, it’s still chem… and.. nvm if u dun understand, cause you’re not supp to understand except for those who know my complete story.. hee hee..) is wonderful? And chemical equation.. I LOVE THAT!!! But I can’t understand the ionic equation, but not to worry. Teacher haven teach yet.. after she does, I think I will.. cause she’s a good teacher.. met her today.. and also.. met ME.. he asked me how I’m doing and things like that.. ( somemore 1st time I greet him, he nv hear lorz.. then later suddenly come and talk to me.. )

Anyway, today there was a parent meet teacher session and I’m down for ushering. .( cool.. can get back to sch.. ) but.. I had a flu for the past few days and I sound horrid today.. when talking to parents or frenz, I sound weird.. and when talking to ML, I keep feeling that my voice can’t come out.. cause I got sore throat ( or rather a dry throat.. kept drinking water, but still so dry.. anyone any remedy? ) I suspect I’m having a fever, cause one of the days I was caught in the rain for some time.. haha.. but now I guess I am ok.. but hope I did not spoil the parent’s image of the sch.. u know a very weak person bringing there around and afraid to talk, for fear voice is weird or may transmit virus to them.. haha..

Today was quite fun.. though very few parents.. and they came from some hidden entrance somewhere.. only a few took the route we tot they would take.. most walked from the carpark, I think.. so I patrolled around the carpark ( not the whole thing though ), but saw no one.. and when I got back to where I’m station, suddenly see one parent walking from the carpark.. ( ok.. this is not April, was he trying to play a joke on me? Or.. this is not July tooo, u know? ) haha.. Anyway, got 2 significant parent I met.. 3 in fact.. one was very timid.. she dare not go into the classroom cause teacher not there.. though I went to call him out, and I told her that, but she feels safer outside.. anyway.. very friendly.. the other one was a man.. very humorous.. when I brought him to 2/4, he was talking all the way.. and very light-heartedly too.. don’t feel as stressed up as with other parents.. And I met him several time.. he came too early, so walked about.. then also met him when he wanted to pass us the feedback form.. then he haven filled in yet.. so he squat down at the fountain to fill in.. and he gave very good feedback about the council too.. said we were very wonderful and said “woh”.. haha.. another one was the parent of sec 2/6.. she din know who the form teachers of 2/6 were, so was like whispering, when we reach the class, tell me their names.. then when we reached there, we were whispering their names.. haha.. so funny.. and I think one teacher knew nevertheless.. haha.. she was looking out.. at me, I think..

Except for that I tot I was sick , today was ok.. tot of going book fair today, but in the end, can’t.. but go tomolo still the same.. haha.. gonna buy lotsa of books.. within budget of course.. and my budget isn’t that mych.. haha..

So I came home after that, and did nothing but to watch TV.. and saw that Singapore version of American Idol on Channel U.. That sun shine guy got that sun shine smile.. haha.. and look so blur and so cute.. Some more those a bit shy here, shy there.. thought he would win, and he did.. haha.. the rest.. one had very nice voice and sang very well.. but maybe too serious.. not quite the kind of “idol” teens are looking out for.. the other one was cute and tiny too.. haha.. and give ppl a very qin ming feeling.. but then.. too action.. and I dun like it.. still remember that act act girl at the 1st eps.. can’t really stand this kind of ppl.. one day I shld sit on them.. Anyway.. that’s all.. looking forward to ALL IN and maths olympied on mon.. cause can go back to sch wad.. haha..

YS’s say of the day: 没有酒也醉 没有星星夜也得过这一夜.. If we lose something, life still goes on.. nothing will stop for us and the earth will keep on turning.. So why stop our lives with our own hands? Face it bravely and march fw.. Do not leave in the past and allow it to control us, instead control our own past and allow it to surface only when we wan it to do so and not let it surface when u least expect or know of it..

Quoted: If there were more trust and less suspicions, life would be simpler and happier.. ( and I agree..)



Friday, May 28, 2004 @ 3:47 PM
~*-*~End of suffering ( oopss.) And.. BaCk 2 ScH!!!! ^.^ ~*-*~

Today is the last day at SPD.. Well.. it wasn't much of a suffering.. maybe because i'm not prepared to go into the working life yet.. it was very relaxed actually and they gave us the simplest of all tasks to do.. haha.. Anyway.. today i was to write the cheque no. on some paper as well as file in some invoice tax sheets.. quite boring.. did that for one hour.. haha.. but actually lazing around most of the time cause the person keep wanting us to wait and wait and wait.. so nothing to do but to rest my eyes for a while!! haha..

After that one hr, nothing more to do, so S brough us to the WAC to help out there.. It was fun today.. working with pens.. one of my once fav things.. haha.. last time used to buy alot, but now seldom, usually buy refill is more than enuff.. anywayz.. We tested the pen ink, bundled them up, packed them and finally, i get to kick the whole big box ( bigger than me ?) to the nearby door.. haha.. the IC was very friendly too ( though i can't figure out why she scolded one worker though ..).. hee hee.. she released us early too!! Great! haha.. hmmm.. Well.. Quite fun actually.. can work with my frenz.. but they dun seem to be in the mood for jokes, so i try to keep quiet and be serious..

Reflections: I feel that the SPD trip could be even more worthwhile the time than the sec 3 camp.. Cause it actually teaches me how to be a better person and also helped me overcome some of my fears.. I mean, not overcome, but let me challenge.. =D so quite good.. However, guess i missed the fun at the sec 3 camp.. but over here, i learnt how lucky i m, and as i see the handicap ppl, i really feel sad for them and when i see them smile, i know wat i'm seeing is a true smile from the heart and it really gives me this special feeling... esp those in the office.. They are really friendly and i enjoyed working with them and the bright smile they would give, really gives me a wonderful and indescribable feeling.. ahh... haha..

I would not think of going back there to work, maybe to visit, but not to work, definitely.. maybe i'll juz have a sneak at the ppl.. See their innocent laughter and all again..Their clear minds and pure soul..

Anyway.. Even as i learn much things from there, i would still want to go back to sch!!! desperately.. i think if today i did not juz go back, i may juz die of thinking about sch.. haha.. i could not wait for 229 to come.. practically jumping around.. and when i reached sch, i can't wait to juz run in.. haha.. into this familiar and cozy and wonderful place -- my 2nd home.. hmm.. we got back out report books today too.. Quite satisfied with my results too.. Now it brings me back to the original spot --- Chem and physic/a-maths.. can someone advice me.. haha.. dun neeed to know what i'm talking about, but juz tell me physic or a-maths?? Hmm.. din see mych teacher today ( so quite disappointing.. =( ) was hoping to see the caring teachers again.. but unfortunately.. did not see many.. haha.. even my form teacher wasn't there and my bio teacher had to give out the report book on behalf of her.. haha.. there seems to be some mistake in the report book, but nvm, who cares.. most importantly is that i get to go back to sch again!!! haha.. Many ppl think i', crazy, wanting to go back to sch and all, but after this experience, i'm going to treasure sch alot.. i know it.. esp in such a wonderful sch.. i guess my life was lived in vain till this very minute.. so i guess quite a good thing not to go to the sec 3 camp, else won't see this too.. haha..

But it's sch holiday from today onwards.. sigh.. haiz.. haha.. but dun worry!! Still got maths olympied, and ss remedial, and camps and all, so can still go back to sch.. b4 i know it, i'm sure it'd be sch re-open liaoz.. haha..so dun worry.. i myz persevere till sch re-open.. hee hee.. hope got more maths and chem hm.. hee hee.. then i'll be satisfied and happy.. maybe more physics homeowrk too.. dun mind this subject too.. haha..

Anyway, that's all.. and oh YAR! the ppl over at Pahang returned safely.. All!! Yeah!! haha.. wonder wad souveniers each of them brought back.. haha.. can't wait to see something from oversea. jing di zhi wa.. haha.. so that's all for now..

YS's say of the day: Treasure wat's b4 u now, and not after u lose it.. You'll grow to regret.. FOREVER!!



Thursday, May 27, 2004 @ 8:07 PM
1 MoRe DaY tO gOiNg BaCk 2 ScH..

hey hey! Juz compelted today's work.. Done the phone calling to some of the family members of some club member to join this outing to the Science Centre for LOTR's exhibition.. Some jokes too.. once i said: SPH , SPH.. haha.. And another time i said i am a parent of SPD when it's supp to be i'm a volunteer of SPD.. haha.. And i was laughin thru'out.. but had no choice.. so pretended i had a cough and kept saying sorry..
haha.. it was a good experience for me.. I had phone phobia b4 this ( i stil have it now ), but i now know the imptance of overcoming fear rather than letting it take over me.. though i think i still fear calling others esp. those i know.. hee hee.. if i call complete stranger still not as bad.. haha..

Anyway.. Tomolo i'm going back to school! Hurray!!!!! but not after i complete one last complete day of job.. =( i guess i'll miss that place and the wonderful friendly ppl over at admin and all the workers there but.. Guess i dun miss there as mych as sch.. And i'm returning tomolo!! Wohho!!!!

Luckily i did not have to do typing already.. haha.. typing all the thick stacks of business directory is no joke.. Type like 300 or so addresses and info but only went thru 5 pages or so? =x

Anyway, the ppl at Pahang are returning tomolo.. By 9, i supp.. Can't wait to hear their experiences.. haha.. guess they muz have lotsa of fun.. but i guess i learnt alot over here too.. how to overcome my fears and all and how to get along with ppl.. And how diff it is to do office work.. And how mych i love school.. haha.. So, great lesson learnt anyway, juz in a not so fun, yet meaninful way.. haha..

That's all for today, hee hee.. And i pray hard nothing goes wrong for the ppl at Pahang.. Been raining over here for 2 days.. Wonder if it's raining over there too.. Oh well.. haha..



Wednesday, May 26, 2004 @ 4:36 PM
Hmmm... school and work..

Well, I've found out it's SPD, not SDA.. which stand for the Society for the Physically Diabled.. At last, the mystery is out..

Hmmm.. Dunno why, i've been missing sch like crazy.. can't wait for Friday to come.. Finally i can go back to school.. Maybe too pampered and always longing for the shelter that the sch has.. Now out at the working world, it's no joke.. even working at the com, my fav habby, seems to be quite a chore too.. i quit the admin thing today.. =x can't take it.. went to work at the WAC ( correct annot?).. Stuck some stickers for KFC and helped to prepare some tags for some shops.. ( like the crocodile or dunno wad.. =) ) Good experience though.. and made me treasure sch life more.. =D

Anyway, it's rainign now and I came home drenched with many bags in my hand ( hyperbole).. I went shopping with my fren today at the Tiong Bahru Plaza ( think spelt wrongly.. ) Quite a wonderful place if not for a saleswomen who were following us around.. Bought real cheap files and separator..

Dun look forward to tomolo.. but to fri though... haha.. can i sleep tomolo away?!? Can't wait to go back to school.. Missed the whole week of morning assembly.. Got to wait for next sesmester.. Well.. or maybe if got re-training for CS and FB, then i go take a look.. Till then.. ^_^



Tuesday, May 25, 2004 @ 10:18 PM
Newly Started...

Well.. I got interested in this Blog thing after seeing so many people with it and it seems pretty interesting.. So here am I.. After all, there's nothing much interesting to do these few days..

Oh well.. The rest of the sec 3s are at their Resilience Camp at Pahang and i'm still stuck here at Singapore.. Nvm.. It's a lovely place to be anyway.. =) Well.. Those who could not go for the camp had to help out at the SDA ( issit? ) which is the Society for the Disabled? ( seems to me i got the name wrong..) anyway.. things are looking well over there.. after all, i'm doing admin and I get to work with $$ and computer which is a wonderful thing.. =D But weird.. I'm missing sch.. Imagine.. haha.. can't wait for Friday to go back and see the teacher.. I'm becoming more of a werido these days.. Liking sch and practically all the subjects.. Dotz..

Anyway.. Hope that things will turn out well for the people at Pahang and hope they have fun and not much of a "ti xin diao dan". We will be praying for their safety over here.. =)

That's all..Got to go read thru some more newspaper for my jian bao.. hee hee.. can't wait to go library to borrow chem book and origami books.. maybe look out for more a-maths and physic questions to do too.. ( 2 of my fav sub + chem, it'd make 3 ) ^.^