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Friday, July 29, 2005 @ 5:16 PM
Just some tots.. Haiz. Suddenly had this sad feeling. Had this like closed conversation with some of my friends. Talked about stuffs. I hope to leave this school without regrets, but i wonder how I'm going to do that. will i be able to pluck up enough courage? Many questions i've asked myself. I'm just like a wall. Currently, i have a missing piece in me and I'm leaving in a shadow. but i thikn the shadow officially ends today. But that missing piece. When can i find it again? Do we really know each other? Anyway, this week's highlight is the el oral. Finally. fortunately, my flu recovered. My fever and headache recovered. and i did it in peak condition. but i was too nervous. ended up talking alot but very fast. My pic i haven started on my main stuffs, and the teacher stopped me. then she nv asked qn too. Got me so worried. luckily, finally when marks came out, i was satisfied. ^_^ KG! Chem VA for the last time. As in for practice. Kinda sad. Like wad sarah said, it's only like yest that we had our 1st practice and now it has officially ended. That day, my mood was already ruined during recess time due to my shadow. And things dull even more when I think of things approaching an end as days pass by... Many things come and go, but not everything will leave a deep impression in our mind. Sometimes cold, sometimes hot. Are you thinking what i'm thinking? Or have we been guessig wrongly all these while? Should we walk out of our shadow and shell and learn to just show how we feel? Should we? ANyway, on a happier note, tomolo we're coming back for chemistry!!!! yay! and it's from 9 to 11.. which happens to be my bdae ( if you think deep enuff.. ) so happy.. organic chem.. wow.. all sci and maths subject moving towards to wad i like.. hee hee.. Booster session. when would it be? ramesh and cherie. wonder how they are now. maybe coaching another school, another team. we might have walked in and out of their lives, but for me, they have came along and left a footprint in my heart. Just as the school and the teachesr, and the students have. Especially ^_^ Sunday, July 24, 2005 @ 3:57 PM
Just a speech.. If I were to express thanks to the school.. during that nite.. Hi everyone, I’m Yan Shan from sec 4S. My symbol is actually a wall, which symbolizes something strong yet fragile, but there’ll always be hope. A wall blocks off sunlight, forming shadow. But it is a shadow of sunlight and of hope. A wall is strong, tough but if you remove any one brick, the whole thing falls apart. But I’ll persevere to patch up that flaw and make it stand high and strong again. Being in this school was my choice and I’d never regret it. This has been the most wonderful place I’ve been to. A caring environment, fabulous friends and unbelievable teachers. The school has seen me evolved as a person and changed me from someone hiding in her own shell all the time. I wouldn’t say I’ve suddenly jumped from one end to another, but this school was the one who started me going with all the changes. Termasek.. My jouney here is almost coming to an end. But it is the end of the beginning, but yet the beginning of another end. Teachers here were great. They do not just teach, they feel with their heart. Many of them are also just like walls. You feel them so distant, yet they’re always there. They seem so harsh, but deep inside, their hearts are soft and perhaps fragile till it would just break with any one of the students’ comment. I’d like to thank all my teachers currently for giving me the trust as well as allowing me to embark on this learning journey with all of you. And thanks to all the teachers in Temasek. You have shaped what Temasek is to me in my heart. As well as the principal and the vice principal for silently supporting the school and keeping things in place.. Last but not least, keep going everyone, just like I would.. @ 12:06 AM
THIS WAY UP = WOW.. I'm only human.. The course has ended. I dunno wad to say. Mixed feelings., Amazing course.. Ramesh and Cherie.. You two are incredible.. You two.. You do not teach, you do not lecture, you influence. And by example. You do not take a book out and juz ok, as this theory goes.. wad you do is.. you lived thru everything yourself. You are the book itself. And this book has emotions. You touched us with life examples, not just some far-fetched stories.. I now know that life is not made up of this and this and this. It’s made up of that and this and there and here.. it’s not a sequence.. it’s nothing.. we’re not the pawns of nature.. because life is nothing.. yes.. it’s nothing unless we write in this incredible book called “life”. We determine our own lives. We cannot expect ups and downs, or whether it’d be a flat road.. Because it will only be wad we BELIEVE! Ok, how amazing is this course? I heard about this course. I’ve heard ppl do cry. I was like, “man, wad’s so special that made them cry?” I wanted to know. I said, I go there not for the course, but to find out the reason. This was the mentality I went there. Nope, I did not resist the course. I wanted to learn something from it. But my mentality was first, I’m never gonna cry. The more it seems i’d cry, the more I won’t.. it was with this kinda of ATTITUDE that I went to this course.. Yes, I’m a strong person. On the outside. Very strong, never gonna collapse, whatever the amt of stress I face, face it alone. Break down alone. Keep everything to myself. Never let others know. Why? I never knew.. now I knew.. I’m afraid.. I fear.. fear of ppl jesting me.. but now I know.. everyone is just a human. They won’t laugh at me. It’s just that everyone assumes everyone won’t cry, so we act strong. Macho hor, cool hor, special hor. RUBBISH! ALL RUBBISH! We’re the coward! Yes, now that I’m facing it, it’s not that I become super woman, but I’ve just evolved into a true human.. You’ll find the step by step wad we did in the course in another entry.. let me deal with my feelings, k? the 1st time in living memory I broke down in front of a big crowd was day 2 of camp.. recall wad our parents did for us.. wad if they left us.. your future? ramesh used this tactic of like “scolding” us.. then used emotions on us.. almost all cried. I can say. All humans cried.. but you know wad, I think Ramesh gonna hate me.. but I’m not gonna to say I love you to mum and dad. Ok, the biggest reason is ok, I’m scared. But my excuse is, I won’t say that and carry on with my usual actions.. I’ll improve my attitude to them first, and let them feel the love naturally.. 3 words would definitely enhance the effect.. yup.. I’m a coward here, I haven overcome this.. 2nd time.. confession time? Ppl went up and said how sorry they were to their parents or just regretted things. Ok, I was sad. Truly I was.. heart ached. Nose suan. But yet, no tears came out. I won’t try to find excuse for myself. Wad act cool? Act strong. RUBBISH! I had some drops of tears. But I cried in the end. From bottling too much. When we met ms neo. She asked about the class. I told her about the test. She said dun think about it at this time. All I wanted to say was I’m sorry. And I told her that. But once I said that. Phoom. Bye bye. I broke down. I literally broke down. And scared ppl around me I think.. went around.. cried and cried. Hugged teachers. Nope, I’m not upset my parents weren’t there. I know they’ll always be there.. in my heart.. but there was this biggest regret in my life.. during this free hugging period session. This person has always been there for me.. I’ve always tot so.. the person I always mentioned in my blog. Throughout the whole thing, I was like searching for this person.. where where where.. and I was thinking omg, if I do go up there, the real person I wanna thank is this person.. but I sure won’t say out de.. I’ve no guts.. I dunno how to face this person after that.. but guess wad.. do you know wad it means to have impt ppl walking out of your life? I felt that pain just now.. it’s not funny.. it’s not fun.. I broke down repeatedly after that.. later, I tot of sch. Last day? Last year. Then think some more. And school song. School cheer. I totally lost control. One thing I can’t stand.. is.. to leave this school.. no one can truly understand my feelings for this school.. it’s diff for every single one of us.. but yes.. I just sort of collapsed.. ppl picked me up.. friends.. comforted me.. a pat on the shoulder is just so.. wow.. when you really need it.. school, friends and this person.. it’s like.. wad has this school given me man.. everything that I need.. my memory.. stays 4eva.. I said sorry to ms lim once again.. for being too quiet in the council.. I’m gald I did that.. or else I’ll regret for the REST of my life.. A teacher picked me up.. she is Miss Rajah.. asked me how I was.. I told her about my feelings for the school.. she told me some things too.. kinda emotional.. but you know wad.. it was the special person who pushed me into darkness and another person who walked in and pulled me up of it.. isn’t it ironical? I won’t hate the other person.. instead, I’ll not be so cold anymore.. nobody’s gonna understand each other for being cold all the time.. the person won’t and I won’t. so I gotta stop this thing.. it’s not interesting anymore.. I’ll face up to you bravely.. mark my words.. Monday, we’ll see.. I don’t hate you for throwing darkness to me.. I’ll just more determined to pick myself up and melt you.. I know why you’ll behaving in this way.. I’m also the same type of person as you.. ms rajah started by asking me if I knew wher han ling was.. I regretted not asking her where this person was.. An emotional me is the real me.. a strong me is a fake me.. but nope, I’m not gonna cry whole day round.. in life, we dun have 100% or 100% fake.. we need a good balance.. I’m gonna be strong.. but I’ll not bottle up things and explode.. I just need to believe I know when to let it out and when to swallow it down.. I have regrets.. who don’t.. but I’m still a weakling.. because a real champions has no regrets.. does wad he or she wants.. but nobody’s perfect..we are a champion because we think we are.. I have done wad I could have at that moment.. and I’m a champion for that.. even if you think I’m not.. I AM! Because I believe.. Monday, July 18, 2005 @ 6:59 PM
Mystery of Life. My theory of Evolution = self-destruction Ok, today throughout whole PE, I was burning with anger. I tot the fiery in me would burn forever. But it didn’t. I wonder why it’s so difficult to really just lose my temper whenever I want to, or be angry at someone, some things, just some THINGS. Wad do I fear? Wad’s holding me back from expressing my emotions? Yes.. I recall ms rajah saying this today.. she says ---- is afraid of coming into contact with --- emotions. I think I belong to this group of ppl too.. anger, frustration.. everything.. I fear too much of consequences.. I’m held back in everything I do.. vented my anger during warm up and floor ball anw. Think the handle is use already distorted in shape le.. but yet again, I dare not really play in the game, for fear of hitting ppl unintentionally.. I mainly ran after the ball, but fear approaching it.. Yes, our class going for motivational camp. I’m interested in it. Not in the camp as a whole. But actually to find out the mystery behind why some ppl can actually cry.. become so motivated suddenly. It’s creepy. It’s scary. But all the more I wanna know the ans. My main aim for joining it is not for the motivation itself, but instead to resolve all these question marks that resides in my mind.. I do have a suddenly inspiration.. life is full of ups and downs, even left and rite.. when we’re tired, we can’t stop. When we run, we’re pulled back. The end of this road opens to another beginning.. wad seems rite is wrong and wad seems wrong is rite. Wad seems bad is and wad seems good is bad.. actually life is such a big mystery. There is no end to everything except for eternity. We’re just a pawn of life. I have interests in studying. I dun find it a chore. Except for some subjects. But if we really think, is there really use in education? We become learnt, the society evolves. True. But wad’s the point of all these? Improvements. Developments. But has it ever occurred to us that we may just be yet another organism on earth. So vulnerable. So fragile. We’re just pawns. Actually we’re leading ourselves to self-destruction.. wad if we din develop technologies, knowledge, theories? We’re be living in simple lives. Wad’s so bad about it. Perhaps there won’t come the day of the end of the world? Imagine an animal. It can be reared in a cage, taught to sing, perform, catch a bone, live in life of luxury. But it’s still a pawn. It can be in the wild. Barbaric, fights for survival, live a short life, suffer hardship. But it is free.. Perhaps, the earth has destructed before.. maybe before our generation. The end of the world has come. And all living things die. Except for one. The chosen one. It survives and persist. Gives rise to many other things. We then evolve into many things. Becomes human eventually. Could choose. We could choose. We can choose. Like wad pre-crime says in minority report. But we chose to “upgrade” ourselves. And lead ourselves into self-destruction again. Depletion of fuels, global warming, tsunami, acid rain. Humans still lose to nature. And the end of the world comes about again. And the next cycle starts. Just like the animal eg I’ve quoted, animals are pawns of humans. And humans are pawns of nature. We could choose. But we always chose self-destruction. See Hui almost lost her wallet. Luckily got honest sec 1s pick it up and return to office. I see the ugliness of human. Which is slowly going towards self-destruction.. we’re just a bunch of stupid geniuses among other things on earth. The “smartest” and the silliest.. Sunday, July 17, 2005 @ 5:35 PM
A+T+T+I+T+I+T+U+D+E = 100% Just some things to remind myself.. -Prelim is coming soon.Ok, it's not tomolo. It's after Sept holiday. but i won't tell myself this. I will live everyday like it's tomolo. because a good attitude is forever a good start to anything. Hope our class can join the motivational camp. I think i'm motivated enuff cause i have many fav sub. But i still need motivation for some other sub. - Don't be overly mad about Jiu wu Zhi Zun Ok, this is going pretty well. Do think about the show at times, but i can manage to control having the peak feeling overcoming me. Which means i only think of the name of the show, but I can stop myself from reading on into the plot of the show and explore the feelings of the characters. - Think more about the matter It will kindle everything. The flame of life. Of eternity. Of motivation. The activation energy for everything. - Class Spirit Yes, our class is going to have the spirit coming alive. it's happening soon, with eric and maybe some others plannig for the class photo. and it'd continue. Forever and ever. Because Four Synergy 2005 lives on forever. Steps i should take: - Seriousness. Not stern but not having a play-play attitude. - Think positively. Do not be badly hit that this term i'm very down on my luck. - Be alive. Live as though tommolo won't come but yet hope for the arrival of another day. - Improve my English! Oh my god! - Be more consistent in my humanities. Be confident about it. - Maintain my maths and science. - Maintain interest for Chinese. Short term goals are there for us to fulfil our long-term wishes. It serves a purpose and so treat them seriously. Treat all unfavourable events as an opportunity to train onself. Treaat all successes as sweet memories meant to inspire myself to attain great heights and soar up the sky. For the sky's not the limit, but our minds are. Long term wishes is for me to get all distinction in all subjects and get to TJ. Hopefully into university and get my cert in Chemistry and another sub. And return to TMS! Saturday, July 16, 2005 @ 8:59 PM
The beautiful moment.. OMG! Mosquito crisis siah.. you know wad? I already had 5 mosquito bite on my left hand le. And yest got bitten by this mosquito and today it has swollen til lik a bee bite. OMG!it’s like I’ve yet to see such BIG mosquito bite. I hope it doesn’t go off till Monday then can ask others to see whether it’s really that big or am I just paranoid. But of course, I still hope can recover as soon as possible.. haha.. then today got bitten twice. But small size de.. yest hit this mosquito.. a lot of blood. Then the floor also got a “pool” of blood according to my mum. Right hand got 1 bite and my neck too.. BRR.. Anyway, yest was Racial Harmony Day celebration.. haha.. so we appeared in our “ethnic” costume. Actually Chinese quite lose face hor, so little of us gotta our own race’s clothes. Then gotta borrow from the rest. Haiz. Mine was well, quite blue and purple. It’s a Indian costume. Too baggy le, but smallest one I can find le, so I must wear it anw, last yr le ma.. then cc gave me a black dot to put on..took some pics.. yay! One sad thing is not the whole class wore the costume. Sigh. But oh well, we did do something together in the end, which was so touching.. the class photo.. last yr le.. last racial harmony day.. I tot it had ended badly.. but luckily at the final moment, something joyous happened.. Though it wasn’t exactly significant, but well, it was still an incident anyway.. haha.. ^_^ Oh, and I din get to fulfil my wish of taking san jian ke. Had their photos but not exactly together lor.. haha.. but nvm.. Today weather was nice.. very cooling. No more flu le! Will be in best condition for Monday’s oral! Yay! Heard prelim in term 4! That’s great, I’ve been very down on my luck this term.. With the term starting with a stomachache… haha.. CIP settled le.. going back to temasek primary school to do CIP. Very good. Well, although my days there weren’t very much memorable, and the school changed so much le, but it still feels a lot for me to think of myself returning there once again.. my ex-school.. a place of sorrows, moments and joys.. I think I’m more emotionally attached to TMS, I wonder how I’m going to face the day when I leave sec sch.. esp grad nite.. haiz.. the end is drawing near, but I dun wish to put a fullstop to everything.. Thursday, July 14, 2005 @ 6:42 PM
End = Beginning = End.. Ok so a summary of the week again. Actually many things happened, but I forgot most of them le, so I shall just mention some that I rmb.. which defeats the purpose of having a blog cause you can’t record down wad happened to you everyday.. -__” But anyway, this week was meant to be oral for our class. Most of us had oral on Wed. Heard that the topic was kinda easy. Got those kinda of nice nice teachers. And they could perform. Happy for them but sad for HCL students like me. Cause we missed this so called easy chance cause we had our HCL lessons then.. well. I won’t say any oral is easy, but since I heard some saying it’s easy and none saying it’s hard, I supp and assume it’s of reasonable standard... Guess it’s fair to them. Cause they were taken by surprise.. Ok ya, got chem. And physics test this week. On a Monday. When I was sick. -_-“ actually I quite lucky. Got flu, cough and fever but this week no oral for me. Lol. But that Monday, I not in the best state to do tests. Haiz. I was quite giddy when I was doing the test lor. And till now I haven got back physics de. I hope for chem. CA every week. I need theory to balance off my practical. CIP day is a headache. I prefer to get pri sch over here and do some activites. More enjoyable and interesting and memorable. I mean beach cleaning done before le, and who still rmbs wad we exactly did every moment then. So kinda meaningless. Except we could play games as a class after our CIP over lor. Haha. Initially going to take East Coast, now Mr Oh recommends Sungai Buloh.. so yup.. see how things goes.. at least until ms rajah contacted the dunno who today.. haha.. Sigh. This week wasn’t well. Din turn out well. Yes, I’m referring to this mysterious person incident again le. Mo qi is getting down and down le. I think I’m too cold le. So now the coldness is reflected towards me again.. Oh ya, late for chem. Hm time today. Haiz. Bad bad bad.. this term started out bad for me, with stomachache, went on bad with my illness. And I wonder how it’d end. Haiz. But dun let fate control me, I control them. The greater the challenge, the greater the desire for me to overcome it. The survival of the strongest. And it’s a competition between me and I. Whether I let the disheartened and soft me win, or whether for the determined and “synergizing” me to triumph.. we’ll see.. Sunday, July 10, 2005 @ 6:42 PM
Flu and Flu.. Arg.. Kept fluing.. actually I always have flu on Saturday morning de.. but this time it’s so bad le.. cause my throat very dry and till now, I’m still fluing.. plus got fever.. so I think there’s a viral infection le.. then my voice sounds super weird.. sigh.. I can’t even talk well cause got sore throat.. so I hope tomolo oral starts from the back, cause I think I can’t perform at my peak yet.. Lao shu ai da mi by the superstar finalists - so nice! Haha.. Derrick got eliminated.. sob.. I support both him and junyang de.. then Kelly also out.. wonder if it’s a scam to make ppl call extra much during the revival round.. Friday, July 08, 2005 @ 8:44 PM
A messed up entry.. Ok.. basically, this has still been a rather crazy week.. with me still goo-gooing over jiu wu zhi jun.. but yet cannot be too crazy over it cause barely anyone shares this madness with me.. When you needed someone to be crazy with you, I was there.. Now I’m the one crazy over the show, I become someone irritating.. haha.. but nvm, used to it can le.. I tot ppl do change for the good, and I almost believed it.. but nope.. nothing of that sort.. you’re just the same old brand new you.. like the song from A1.. Anw, this week kinda sway for me, esp Thurs.. Morning, forgot all bout going thru ws during chemistry homework time.. Got down the bus and went back home to retrieve.. come school, forgot wad happened le la.. but most significantly, is that chemistry pract was a disaster.. think gonna fail le lor.. once compound name wrongly and gas test wrongly jiu die le.. I think I got enmity with oxygen siah. Never once since june could I successfully test for it.. brr.. but nvm, on the happier side, there’s gonna be theory test every week.. so it’d make up for my this prac.. the most test the better.. and I’ve learnt my lesson for prac le, so I know wad to look out for next time le.. nv would I commit the same mistakes again le.. luckily there was this practical to make me realise many things so that I can wake up and improve.. otherwise I’ll remain stagnant man.. lol.. Ok lor.. things seem to be getting colder lor.. that time is I stressed up de ma.. then keep hovering around me, deter my every movement siah.. Then tension so great, of course a bit... but anw, once next week starts, things will resume, I can assure that.. Then maths hor, that quiz I got the concept le, but I went to cancel away my answer.. dotz.. and the last part I “left in blank” ( cause cancelled away.. ) shld have just left it there.. Actually got some more things to say de.. but let’s wait.. Ok lor, time table change again.. haha.. but Monday will be my fav day, I believe.. wahaha.. actually I not in the right state of mind to blog la, so everything in a mess.. Superstar heard derrick is out.. how can? Omg.. I support him and junyang.. I wonder if it’s just a trick to capture our attention for the revival race.. This term nv start well for me, cause 1st day jiu stomachache le.. 2nd week not smooth cause thinking of jiu wu zhi jun.. but I promise I’ll recover beginning 3rd week.. let the 1st 2 weeks be my week to prepare myself for challenges and the 3rd week onward to welcome challenges.. Determination.. Is not something to be undermined.. Monday, July 04, 2005 @ 6:41 PM
Happy Youth Day.. Jiu Wu Zhi Jun.. Haha.. I guess I’m still much CRAZY over jiu wu zhi jun.. ESP DAXIA and perhaps siniang.. haha.. the craze is not over.. nvm, give it another a week.. I’m sure it’d slowly die out, like qian nu you hun.. but the essence of the show will forever live in my mind.. Actually I really dunno why I love the show so much.. To say the plot super good doesn’t seem quite correct.. but yet it’s super nice! I think to me, the most interesting and attractive part of the show is Siniang and Daxia’s love.. hee.. esp their bickering.. but weird thing is though they nv quarrel in the last week, it was actually the last 5 episode that left such a deep impression on me.. haha.. they are the essence of the show! And I’m glad siniang won 2 awards because of this show ( Fav Actress and Fav TV character ) Saw that this show got 2 songs.. dunno how to find.. Almost could find, but the file was virus, brought me to 100 + website and I gotta exit slowly.. haha.. Ok, so today is Youth Day! So happy Youth Day people.. wonder when the teachers performing hor? Dun tell me it’s cancelled hor.. Sigh.. 1st day where I won’t see jiu wu zhi jun at 10o-clock.. Live on.. Jiu wu Zhi Jun, you rock! Jiang Hua – charming! Siniang – Incredible! Best duo ever! One of the best shows ever! Wonderful! Rock on man! Sunday, July 03, 2005 @ 9:21 PM
Ball Ball Day! Today was our school’s balloon there.. yup, went sch tot I’ll be late cause the bus wait so long.. but turned out the event started at around 8? So I was still early.. haha.. but I was bursting with eagerness and enthu-ness, cause I was trying to narrate the jiu wu zhi zun to cc and sarah then.. lol.. and I kept commenting that the jiang hua very charming.. Not as in youthful or wad la.. but his eyes sparkle that quiet confidence that makes him charming.. haha.. I was like siao today, but it’s fun to get crazy once in a while.. not too often, but occasionally.. this is wad makes life colourful. Like I was telling them, initially when I watch the show, I thought he was old.. and wonder why the female college so attracted by him and bring him breakfast etc.. now I understand le. His confidence is definite and unassuming.. lol.. even his real person also that confident ( from his pic.. ) but of course not as confident as in the show ( which was kinda over-confident.. cause king ma..) I think he good singer too ba.. Realised hong kong actors is the older they are, the more they exude this quiet and definite confidence and the more charming they are.. eg. jiang hua, luo jia liang, zhang guo rong, even ou yang zhen hua.. they always have this confidence in their eyes.. But let’s get back to balloon day.. haha.. ok la, we din meet our goal.. we were far from it.. I think around 16 000 balloon made out of the targeted 85 000. ( is it? ) which was kinda far, but I think the event itself is meaningful cause almost all temasekians put in their effort to make it a rather successful one.. I tried diff style for the balloon, but everytime pump in too much air, then gotta just turn to making poodle most of the time.. tie until finger like meat bursting le.. it’s not the twisting that’s tough, it’s the tying.. lol.. it was fun, (cause I was also thinking of the show at the same time.. ) Lunch shared popcorn chicken with sarah.. bad exp during this lunch, but still everything is over, I shan’t say anymore.. Went out to sell, then our class stationed at Esplanade.. initially when we first reached there, it’s like “wad? Not even a soul?” but later we went out of the esplanade from the city link, then ok, got ppl la.. then got this event over there.. walked like 1 hr plus with cc, then sarah teamed with hua qian.. later, almost everyone there who would purchase a balloon has bought one.. so we changed our route le.. Went into esplanade ( the person like wana change us out, pretend to ask if we need direction but kept repeating that exit over there.. ).. then took the escalator to the carpark area? There got air-con and sofa, and most importantly, ppl with children always come into that place.. cause going out from carpark ma.. we sold a lot there lor.. it’s like wow.. half an hour then we sort of cleared most.. then huaqian gtg le.. so we saw her off to the mrt.. we threw 2 deformed balloon away, can’t be sold ( better than this grp that gave away a WHOLE bag of balloon and threw away NOT SPOILT ones.. ) On our way, we left with 1 balloon. Then got this nice man willing to donate but din wan the balloon.. But he said once you all sold, then can knock off le ah.. so he just took the balloon lor.. then his money kept on adding and adding.. wad a kind soul… So everything off! And we went to buy bread and I bought slurpy.. wa.. so thirsty siah.. Then meeting place so chaotic.. waited at wrong exit.. lol.. but yup.. overall, it was a nice event.. where our school can have this chance to get together to do something meaningful, not just study.. So yup.. 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for TMS.,. hip hip hurray! Haha.. Friday, July 01, 2005 @ 11:48 PM
The power of love.. From Yong Zheng to Daxia, to a commoner, to a business prodigy.. and now reduced to a no one.. no no, a king in an island.. he has changed so much.. man do change..even kings do.. even conservative siniang can put aside that intense hatred and be with the man she wanted to kill, and sacrifice so much for him.. power of love? But I dun like the ending.. though everyone happy.. but.. I still think daxia shld remain in the company.. I mean.. haiz.. ya lor.. he should.. I dunno.. I’m now lost and empty without the show.. Power of love.. from hatred to love.. from killing to sacrifice.. the show rox.. Daxia is so charming ( though a bit old la.. ), siniang rox completely man, ri-ai is so elegant, and ri-li is so detestable.. and stupid.. he surely be chairman le, still turn bad for wad.. it’s only when he’ll get the seat only ma.. @ 11:47 PM
last episode.. Let me talk about the last episode.. It all started with Siniang cooking some noodles for supper for Daxia. They were together alone and Siniang was suddenly very upset, as she recalled wad Ri-ai said.. Only one of them can have Daxia, he can’t be shared.. I guess she’s determined to give up Daxia le, cause she can’t help him, can’t give him anything.. she can at most cook for him.. She asked for the nuer’hong. And Daxia got drunk.. after she asked for the wine, that scene really makes my heart tear for Siniang.. she’s not a superwoman, but yet she has to act strong. She may be strong, good at fighting.. but deep inside, emotionally, she’s still a girl, not strong.. but she wants the best for Daxia, she can only enjoy the final moment and let him go and let him soar in his world of business ( which is about the same as his family dou4 zhen1) Daxia got drunk. He said he wasn’t.. he was just intoxicated by a beauty.. I’m sure he likes siniang too.. he was laying on her shoulder.. but he looked up.. and both of them exchanged longing, loving gaze with each other..that deep gaze.. I think it hurts for siniang.. she has made up her mind that’s the last gaze she’s gonna have.. while daxia still thinks he can have both woman and this gaze was that he suddenly realise Siniang is impt to him.. later I think they kissed or wad la, the camera nv capture in detail.. a conservative siniang.. was willing to give up everything.. not for her ambition ( to kill the emperor ), but actually to be with this fatuous emperor.. the man that she wanted to kill so badly initially.. After that night.. siniang left.. intended to do so silently.. no one will ever rmb her, Daxia will feel sad and lost w/o her.. but he won’t tear for her. She’ll be out of sight, out of mind.. *tears for siniang.. sob.. ( really.. not just saying.. )* he’s a king. He has so many wives.. it’s not his first love, though it’s his only true one.. he has too much experience to rmb siniang.. But Rili came.. I’m so grateful for your arrival though you were creating trouble.. otherwise siniang won’t have remained.. and I think siniang may just die.. of hurt pain.. of longing.. while daxia will have ri-ai by his side after all.. So yup, he tricked siniang into saying that they really came from the past, from Qing Dyansty.. from 200 yrs ago.. how they ended up here.. aroused attention of the press.. luckily the cen family stood by Daxia.. at least they’re not blind.. So they attacked back, tried to destroy all evidence.. but in the end, Rili still has the recording of wad siniang told him.. cen family was going to lose it all.. daxia and siniang may just die for scientist research.. But no.. siniang now sprung out and pretended to be mad woman. Because the only evidence left was her words.. if she could prove those words wrong.. she acted crazy.. put down her dignity.. it may appear small to us, but look, she’s a heroine from the past.. those that would die rather than give in. those that has outmost dignity.. but no.. she pushed aside all these.. not for herself.. but for daxia.. for him to survive, for him to be with ri-ai, for him to be in the company, for him to be immersed in fame, for him to be happy, for him to display his qualities possessed by him as an emperor.. yes she succeeded, the reporters did not believe Rili le.. but siniang got sent to a mental hospital.. locked up, tied up.. how bad she’d have felt.. she was one a well-known heroine.. but she’s now in this state for a man.. the man she should have killed.. but now she’s here.. not because she can be with him.. but instead to let him go for someone else.. she’s here for him.. but not to have him.. Rili decided to use DNA against Daxia.. brought him to real Daxia’s tomb,, think I’d use yong zheng now le.. took a shovel.. wanted to kill him.. no one would know.. yong zheng was almost killed.. where’s ri-ai?? You love him, you can sacrifice for him, you can let him have happiness.. but you could not die for him.. even if you were willing to, it did not cross your mind at the moment to rush up to protect Daxia.. if it was siniang.. I’m sure she’d have took the blow.. of course she knew martial arts, she could counter-attack.. but if she were to protect daxia, she had to put her arms around him.. how to fight? And she’s be hacked to death.. she’ll do it.. yes.. because w/o daxia, there’s no siniang.. Later.. Ri-ai knew Daxia won’t be happy w/o sinaing.. can’t bear to leave her rotting in the mental hospital and go away.. btw, he decided to give up wealth, fame for a simple life.. she couldn’t leave her families, everyrhing in hong kong too.. it was an excuse though I guess.. I’m sure she misses her family, but perhaps she could sacrifice for daxia.. but after all, she is from the modern world, and we’re all practical.. unlike the past where ppl had all the freedom to die for love.. she was duty-bound to her family.. perhaps she seems selfish there, but I know it hurts for her too.. Ri-ai finally made a big move.. to sacrifice daxia would hurt her more ba.. She pretended to take the place of siniang and went to mental hospital.. siniang escaped.. daxia and her left hong kong.. for another place.. their own world.. I feel sad for ri-ai now.. she can’t see daxia for the last time.. the parting with cen family and the daxia family was sad too.. imagine the bond they have built up over the months.. now they’re parting.. their only family.. So as a conclusion.. Rili went mad and tot he yong zheng.. Rizhong and rixiao finally worked together for the company hand in hand.. Mr cen can retire soon le, cause bro united le. Ri-ai got a lot of admirer.. kinda happy life.. I guess she’s happier w/o daxia.. just compare the after and before her when daxia left.. it hard to part, but both side are happier.. if it’s sinniang, I doubt so she can be happy.. only daxia understands her, and only they 2 share the same destiny.. daxia can only be himself with her.. for they share the common secret.. Siniang and Daxia went to this earth island, which was kinda isolated and backward. Led carefree life and daxia became the king in the region.. I guess they’re happy ba.. but if I’m daxia, I’d remain in the company.. after all, the baddy gone le, no more rivalry, and he’s meant for this kinda life.. but to each of their own.. like wad I said, he’s from the past, we’re from the present, where we cannot sacrifice to a large extent.. it’s our mindset.. @ 11:44 PM
The overall plot.. Ok.. so the show has ended.. I really.. how shld I say? I wasn’t really concentrating on the show though I was so excited about it before it started, I could barely remain at one position.. because I was afraid.. afraid of the moment where the end came.. ok.. so it came... I’ve decided.. if I can find the VCD, I’d buy it.. I hope those who see VCD of < But this show, even those ancient Chinese do seep in somehow, it was brought across in a humourous manner.. not serious and formal eg. in the 1st episode where they were at court. But when siniang and daxia came to the present, they do have remains of those ancient accent, but.. it’s funny, it makes me laugh, it’s lame, but yet it touches my heart.. That’s why it left such a deep impression on me.. lame and funny shows capture my attention but it wouldn’t remain in my mind and heart. Love and heart-wrenching story warms me up and prompt me to cry but yet hold back my tears.. gan3 ren2 fei4 fu3.. but they don’t capture my attention cause they tend to be boring.. But this show.. funny, but yet the love story ke3 ge1 ke3 qi4.. ke3 yin2 ke3 yong3.. so it will make me wanan watch and continue to watch and think about it even after it ends.. @ 4:02 PM
JIU WU ZHI ZUN!!!! OMG! i going crazy over the show le!!! I've been researching on it.. from the song, to the character, to the story plot.. esp siniang and daxia relationship.. Wonder why i always exclude ri-ai from the relationship? cause i know daxia dun like her at all. In his heart, he loves siniang, just that he hasn't truely explored this fact yet.. after all, they're from the same dynasty.. more fit for each other.. ri-ai is just someone who catches his eyes only.. The theme song: http://tvcity.tvb.com/drama/king_of_yesterday/song/index_300k.html?300 The story plot, character etc: http://tvcity.tvb.com/drama/king_of_yesterday/story/index.html @ 3:15 PM
The show.. The taste of goodbye.. Jiu wu zhi zun <<九五至尊>> last episode today le. This is its final week sigh. Why? A good show that not only attracts my attention but also touches my heart is hard to find. So far, only qian nu you hun has done that and this is the 2nd show in my life that left a deep impression on me.. usually I just watch, nice and forget. Both shows started out like ok lor ( qian nu you hun I even refuse to watch 1st 10 few episode cause like so not nice? ).. but as the story builds up esp in the love part, it really got me hooked onto it. I admit this show is kinda lame. Not those that would touch your heart throughout the show. But the fact humour and sadness can be tied together so well makes it perfect. At least the touching scenes will seem very precious when slotted into a show that dun go crying crying whole day.. Monday episode left deepest impression on me. Daxia shifted house and Siniang quit le. Ok, so that means they wouldn’t meet in the house, or at the workplace. So this very last day that they can be together was the part I liked. Siniang at night was outside Daxia’s house, staring blankly. At this moment, he opened his door and all his things badly packed. So Siniang went in and helped him pack, after all that’s the last and only thing left that she could do. Siniang was upset but she kept quiet. Daxia also put aside his emperor pride and said one sentence “we’re all from 200 years ago. We’re both in the same boat, do you think I would not have cared for you? 我们都是来自两百年前的，同在一个舟上，难道你认为朕会不关心你吗？” He then cooked for the 1st time and it was for siniang. So he made some dumplings and cooked it. Siniang acted brave, pretended to critize his cooking. But as she ate, she kept thinking about today being the last day. And she sobbed away finally. She blamed it on the pepper. She cried. But Daxia was not a fool. He knew wad was going on. They were going to part. He did not want to. Siniang was running away. He reached out for her hand, grabbed it and reached for the other one. “if you want to cry, cry out loud. Do not hold it back. I’ll lend you my shoulder” siniang fell into his embrace and he drew her closer and they were like crying and hugging ( as in siniang crying la.. ) The show ended then. Ok sorry for my poor narration, sometimes that feel can only be experienced when you watch that scene itself. Some times just can’t be described. But I feel their heart-wrenching pain. The last day. I almost cried during the show. And I cried was I was going to sleep cause recapping ma. The best 15mins ever.. I learnt 2 things from this show. A woman, no matter how strong, still loses to a word “love” and because of that can’t hold back tears for long. A man, no matter how smart even comparable to an emperor, still faces dilemma when it comes to “love”. He can handle everything under the sun, but not this. Conclusion: Love is the mysterious thing on earth. No one can touch it, smell it, hear it. None can control it. @ 3:13 PM
Just another week.. Ah.. A week has passed, and a long weekend too cause Youth Day ma.. But then I tot TEACHERS performing?? Then where’s e performance? Tot every year got celebrate de.. sob.. Been a busy week. Erm, a rather busy one. Cause got bio test and ss test. But bio, she give that guideline made me learn extra and in the end the test all applications, shld have trusted myself. But the easier the test, the lower I score. The more challenging it is, the more I score. So I guess an easy paper is not a good news to me. Hope “O”-level tough tough de.. -_-“ ss today no test. Make me learn like siao for like the whole week? My whole time burnt out trying to memorize but failed to do so in the end? But nvm, looking further, I have sort of like revised one part of a chapter and have some recollections of it when the Os come.. Oh, there was this day, I coming home and walking towards my staircase. Then at the mouth of the staircase, got this foreign labour la. Then I walk walk, up the stairs then turn back and I saw this Chinese old woman like cornered by him. They were talking softly. Dunno whether he threatening her, or they having a conservation only. Then I think and think and the whole day my mood very down lor. Like I shld have interfered and stopped anything from happening if something were to happen. But wad if they only talking and I too sensitive? Then they like, this girl siao one.. or the man just take a knife and stab both of us.. sigh.. Balloon day this Friday. Yay. Can do something for the sch. Haha. It’s my last year, I must enjoy. But the tot of it being the last year already stops me from enjoying fully. Oh ya, felt so sorry on Thursday. Quite dao la hor? But at least now I know.. but the new timetable actually spoils all the effort I made last semester. Nvm lor, try again. Then next mon miss chemistry again. Brr. No time le then keep missing and I dun wanna miss it de lor. Wad to do? Haha. At least today very lucky ma, rite? |