profile Scorpio Random friends Ah Ma Zu Bin Fang Elaine Hua Qian Piggy Evelyn John Mei Yin Si Jing Xue Fang Andrea Benny Florence Joe Rui Qi ohoneohsix Ilyana Peng Soon Qi Hui Ming Wang Theng Koe Vincent Wan Ting Wan Yee MDWAV yRandomy tagboard archives credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |
Monday, May 31, 2010 @ 9:14 PM
4 impossible things In "Alice in Wonderland", sometimes Alice thinks of 6 impossible things before breakfast. I'm not greedy (lol) so I shall just think of 4 impossible things. 1) To have a theory/correlation/law/just some discovery named after me. Like what I always say, there is definitely a need to get some fancy names so that ppl learning the concept next time will have trouble remembering or fun time laughing at it. (like we always do.. Wilke-chang? Schmidt? Hirschfelder?) lol ya, i wasn't exactly joking when I said I want to do this one day, cos it's really an impossible wish that I somehow have :) 2) To set up Temasek University. Reason being, it's the broken link in my Temasek chain. If it ain't there, build it! My friend has suggested a more realistic alternative - Temasek Kindergarden. Well within reach, but still I want a university more than kindergarden! Funding anyone? :) Or at least send your child there next time if it does exisit (and if it's set up by me. lol). 3) It's about my future career/academic path. Hmm, it's well within reach actually and that's precisely the reason why I'm remaining vague about it. Just wish me good luck that for the next 2 years, I'll grow more and more certain that this is indeed the path I wanna take :) 4) I shall leave this blank for the impossible thing that might come in the future. :) How many of my impossible dreams can I achieve? We shall see then! :D Sunday, May 30, 2010 @ 11:44 PM
A Beautiful Mind "A Beautiful Mind" is really quite a beautiful show. It's slightly draggy, especially when I've just seen similiar "it's all about delusions in the mind" plot in Shutter Island recently. The difference is that, the ending is good. It's slightly discouraging though to know that the plots that I liked didn't really happen in John Nash's life though, be it the pen ceremony or his acceptance speech for the Nobel prize. Even touching scenes such as his wife's continued support for him in spite of his illness didn't exist in that manner portrayed in the film - she left him in 1963 and their love only rekindled after he recieved his Nobel prize. That's reality for me I guess. It's different from films/shows/movies. Maybe we're all guilty of the delusions John Nash experienced in the show, just that we somehow can return to reality. Read a random comment that "Eccentricity is just a fancy word for loneliness." Interesting. Holds some truth in it too. This long holiday has been great for me! Finally get to rest properly and recharge! My daily routine has been to breakfast --> sleep --> lunch --> sleep --> go out/read books --> dinner --> tv/com --> sleep. I lost count of the number of hours I slept today :S Had the luxury to go for an evening run today - it's my first try and feels great! What's different from morning run is that you get more tired in the latter (cos the sun is rising) whereas it gets increasingly enjoyable in the former (cos the sun is setting and the night weather's cooling!) Met with cc too on Friday! Been quite some time since we last had a gathering. Saw sarah and hc for a while too. Hmm, definitely must organise an old frenz gathering soon! :D I'm finally done with The Black Swan and honestly, I'm quite disappointed with the book, just like Fooled by Randomness. Somehow I feel that the author did introduce some neat ideas yet the entire book actually just revolves around those few ideas even though it appears that each chapter has a new idea. Now i'm starting on The Selfish Genes and so far so good; seems like Richard Dawkins deserves his reputation. (lol i'm nobody to judge on this though). Okay work again tomorrow after such a long break! Start engine again lo! :D Saturday, May 29, 2010 @ 11:06 PM
Gotten used to getting use to 习惯就好 习惯就好 一个人在夜里继续地奔跑 却发现再也听不到自己的心跳 我承认我的伪装是真的不够好 We just need to get used to changes and adjust/adapt to it. True enough, that's how we've been living through our lives all these while. Repeat the cycle often enough and soon, all that's left is a zombified body. Maybe we've never really gotten used to anything; it's just the process of distancing ourselves from the change and alienating the me from the self that gives the illusion that sooner or later, everything will be fine. What we've gotten used to is getting used to itself, irrespective of what we have to get used to. A random thought, as usual. It's okay. Labels: Random @ 10:53 PM
A bit of everything Attended Betsy's 21st Birthday celebration yesterday! :D Once again, a fun and b!tchy gathering with the oh-one peeps. The redundant package was really classical. Haha. 21st birthdays' are the events that keep us together for this year; I wonder what's next.. Anyway, I've never really had cramps in my life; yet in the recent months, I keep getting cramps in my leg/feet. :S It can be when I'm trying to get out of the bed, trying on shoes, in the midst of answering Q&A during a presentation etc. And now my calf feels like it's been badly bruised. lol. Getting old? Too tired? Hmm... On a side note, sometimes when we're irritated/upset/angry with another person(s), it might not necessarily be the case that the person(s) really detestable. Maybe in the face of others that are really overbearing and absolutely irritating, we don't even get the chance to flare up - because we're afraid of the consequences that follow. Next time when we do negative marking on others, stop to think - does the presence (or absence) of ill feelings really represent our impression of them? On a more serious (and bothersome) note, the question of whether I should continue with econs linger on. Had a brief chat with my classmate about ddp and I think we both share somewhat similar sentiments. It's a pity we didn't have the time to have a proper conversation wrt this issue. Recently I'm quite into songs that appears quite light-hearted. Top on the list now is Ah-Du's 我在你的爱情之外. 一步步逼近懸崖 不能前進後退 沉默的对白 虽然结局一目了然 我情绪错乱 連喜劇看來都很傷感 原來～愛情名字叫孤單 现在,很想见你 - Daniel Lee Danell 李桀漢 流行性感冒 蕭敬騰 疼愛 Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 10:04 PM
Surprisingly positive day Today turned out to be surprisingly, though not exceedingly, good. I didn't have to report for work today, which is kinda sad cos I miss out on all the funny things that can be overheard *oops* in office. On a random note, I realise that I'm just a 30min bus trip away from the Treasury. Dialogue session went pretty well because there were always some people willing to take the initiative to talk while I just happily sat at one corner. I thought it was useful as it really gave me the side of the story from their view. Perhaps if I had gone for such talks after A-levels, I might have been swayed to join the public sector? Not very likely though; even though I might see the motivation and hard work behind the things they do, it's still not me. Nonetheless, it was an experience that reminds me to keep an open mind, because I never will know what I really want unless I've gone the path and decided not to want it. Met nice people in my group too! We're almost the same 'type' of people, though yes I was the quietest of the lot. Oh yes, we're all from NUS. I think the classical moment was when the GOH sat at our table and awkward silence prevailed. And yup, I think I know why employers like SMU graduates now. You can really see the contrast when all of us are put together. I dunno how our abilities compare relatively, but they definitely can shine for the first impression, which usually matters the most. They're the ones that will actively provide feedback, participate in the Q&A and interact with the GOH naturally; whereas the rest of us probably try to look all over the place, hoping that we will not attract any attention to ourselves. Then again, just a sweeping generalisation. Had a learning journey to NEWater. First time there! I was quite impressed with the "Factory" trip and the happy thing is that, I'm able to understand and provide my interpretation of the working mechanism behind some of the technology (just at the back of my mind, of cos), ie. Ultrafiltration, Reverse Osmosis, UV treatment etc. It's like putting theoretical knowledge into practice. The power of association - I like!  Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 9:11 PM
Music is the word I think it's not an exaggeration to say that I survive on music. Finally get to sit down properly and listen to some good old songs. On a random note, I thought that I was too preoccupied with work to think about any other things; but now, I think it is the absence of music that brings my mind to a standstill. The beauty of music could be the story it tells; and more importantly, the story it induces you to think about. Even if you can't pinpoint what exactly you're thinking of at that point of time, a lingering feeling remains that something was once there. On the next random note, I feel that life's really a delicate fabric of entities. Sometimes when I'm nearly convinced of a certain phenomenon, the realisation that it could all be a facade or illusion strikes. Or maybe it's just the skeptical me at work again. Anyway, it seems that people today can be a sad lot despite the numerous exchanges of smiles, laughters and happiness. The reason could be that we're all afraid. Perhaps of the something that never does come about, but nonetheless, we continue to guard ourselves fiercely of the unknown unknown. Alright, NEWater visit tomorrow! Is it my first time there? I can't remember. Very importantly, I can bring my camera phone along and the key thing is, I can plug in to my music player during my bus trips!! :D Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 9:07 PM
Lucky Tuesday It's a lucky Tuesday! :D Enquiry emails that I've been sending for the past 3 weeks for various reasons finally returned replies! All on the same day. Lol. Some good news, some bad news, some neutral news. Nonetheless, at least they all bothered to read and reply. And it's a busy holiday! Work, birthday parties, wedding dinners and lots of gatherings! Wohoo~ :D [Edited at 11.51pm] Finally submitted my application form. While refining the form which I've filled up long long time ago, I realise that when I break out of formalities and the mindset that "point #n needs to be included because it's an unsaid requirement", and start to write sincerely based on my own personal experience, ideas just flow easily. In fact, I was trying so hard to make up for the word count, only to realise that I don't have enough space afterwards. Which reminds me of what I heard today - about how the world has evolved to be a weird place; where we succumb to formalities and lose track of why we did something in the first place. @ 12:41 AM
Summary of the day Today's yet another great day at work! :D Was officially introduced to my department and it wasn't that frightening as what I thought it'd be. Although I didn't speak much, it didn't really leng3 chang3 cos I think everyone's very nice and friendly. It was a very encouraging experience! After the introduction, I feel more confident to smile to my colleagues (whom I don't know on personal basis) since they finally won't go, "huh? who's that?" in their mind. Lol. Actually my stay thus far has been very positive and I'm really enjoying my time there! Well, that's even though I appear quite dao/cold and unethusiastic about matters. Dunno why I tend to portray an image to others that runs opposite of what I think/feel. O.o Anyway, I'm still not done reading "The Black Swan" and there's still 3 more books waiting for me, with a latest addition "Blink" (Thanks to Ping! :D) But there was a para that caught my attention.. Humans will believe anything you say provided you do no exhibit the smallest shadow of diffidence; like animals, they can detect the smallest crack in confidence before you express it. ... if you act like a loser, they will treat you like a loser - you set the yardstick yourself. It is not what you are telling people, it is how you are saying it. -- The Black Swan I think that's a very true observation and that's something that I'm bad in. Somehow, I often end up in a compromised situation whereby I expose many of my flaws and hide whatever strengths I might have (if any, to start with). It all boils down to the issue of confidence I guess. And I think this trait of mine irritates people. They're not going to pity (for lack of better vocab) me because of my pessimistic thinking; rather my lack of confidence only serves to hinder progress of matters and creates new waves of problems for others. Maybe I should learn to acquire some hints of aggressiveness so that it's better for everyone. I get sian picturing myself smaller than what I really am; and others get sick trying to convince me that I can do it - and that's a real problem that I have to overcome. Anyway, outing to Chinatown today turned out quite disastrous, yet adventurous. Company is good as usual. We settled dinner at Maxwell Hawker Center, walked to Tanjong Pagar then Raffles Place. Went to Fullerton Hotel for its toilet; headed for double helix bridge only to realise we were on the wrong side of the river. Finally settled for Esplanade with its spooky exhibit, which I liked. And yes, the gallary of black and white simplistic comic showing a man with speech/thought bubble - that's really really nice and I like the feel of the display. What's more, the artist is from Hong Kong!! :D As usual, I opted for bus 30 to go home. Lol. Sunday, May 23, 2010 @ 10:54 AM
Crazy Day Part II Yesterday was the second episode of our "Crazy day". Agenda was to send our fren off and to join in some crazy event at PP. haha. First up was a trip to Changi Airport! Sat around a bit and we went to the Gallery to look at airplanes. Too bad they weren't taking off. haha.  As usual, our agenda will always involve food. Decided on Popeye and they were having some May promotion, which we happily ordered. lol. Anyway, what's with their mild/spicy when the spiciness is of negligible magnitude? Anyways, was a satisfying meal and I think the Popeye branch @ airport is the best. At least their chicken had some taste.  Headed down to PP after this and we decided to settle @ Starbucks for a chat. Heh, I went without coffee since I have no idea how the after-effect will turn out. =X Wanted to have Koi - Ice cream milk tea; but changed my mind due to the queue. Opted for un-branded bubble tea and ordered a weird flavour - Star Red Tea, which consists of 5 flavours. lol hmm not really recommended. Oh yes, and my fren bought a Samsung Star phone just like that! It was an unplanned purchase. Haha. It got even weirder later, as the few of us were standing beside the road (as though we were going to cross it), but no, we chatted while standing for about half an hour? We decided we looked weird and decided to shift elsewhere, but somehow while moving to the aisle, we stopped to chat again. -.- So now, we're in the middle of the passageway, blocking people's way. Alas, we reached the aisle but the funny thing is, we continued to chat standing up, even though the seat is just behind us. LoL! Our number was down to 3 in the evening and we decided to camp for our Yoshinoya Beef Bowl! We beared with the hunger until 9pm, keeping ourselves occupied by playing the new Star phone and talking about random things. Who knows when we arrived, the queue was super long! Okay, maybe not that terribly long but sufficiently disturbing especially since we only managed to get our food at 9.45pm. That was dinner. Haha. When the beef bowl finally came, I downed it at a record time of about 10mins? Others ate faster than me though, but.. what's new? Here's the "evolution" of my beef bowl: order --> my bowl --> spiced up --> K.O-ed :) Nice!  Quite sad though as I couldn't get the desserts I wanted, be it Scoopz or Berylite. :( Guess it was too late. It's okay, it's yet another successful crazy day that we (un-)planned. On a random note, I've never expected myself to forget something called Thiele Model. Until we were at some Beauty/skin/hair care shop, which sold pore minimizing lotion and we were reminded of the cylindrical pore model, yet none of us could exactly recall the name of this model. Lol, so much for having exams only like 2 weeks ago and we thought we'd never ever forget what we went through in the module. Truth is, that's just something that we hope to believe in that's all. Lol. Saturday, May 22, 2010 @ 12:14 AM
Bloody Monday 2 Hmm.. Bloody Monday 2's ending was somewhat disappointing. Followed the generic mould from previous series, despite having a different set of "terrorist" (though under the same mastermind after all). As before, the process of trying to guess everyone's identity is rather engaging; yet somehow, the final twist revealing the final identity of the "mastermind" still turned out to be disappointing. Mixed reactions - there was the "ya! it could be obvious if I were to work back using backward induction.", yet at the same time, it felt as though the answer went way beyond expectation so much so that it's like the scriptwriter just decided to throw the most unexpected name at us (and hoping that when we work backwards, it should make sense.) Anyway, it's funny how the mastermind always turn out to be girl; and somehow the girl will always be portrayed as the harmless one and has been harrassed before. J's (and K's) plot was weird. J orchestrated everything, yet it seems as though he had no role to play except to agree that, yes indeed everything worked according to his equation. Somehow he was introduced in the beginning, inserted somewhere along the story and had to make a final appearance towards the end. It feels like the puzzle was revealed one by one throughout the story, only to be told at the end that this puzzle is just a facade and the true plot is accounted for in a few minutes. So, we have deadly virus, hydrogen bomb, nuclear bomb, etc. Seems like there'd be another series; so, what's next? Another destruction of Japan in the name of reconstruction? ^^ Maya and Kano! ^^ Thursday, May 20, 2010 @ 9:00 PM
Polarised gift My experiences with birthdays this year is very polarized. At one end, I gave/shared DIY gifts to my friends; at the other end, I have chipped in for branded (okay, quite..) goods as gift. Just an interesting observation. lol. Labels: Random Wednesday, May 19, 2010 @ 11:27 PM
Bloody Monday Season 2 Am currently watching Bloody Monday 2 and I just had to mention about this scene in Ep 04!  It's actually quite totally random but the Maya-Kano interaction towards the end of her life is really captivating. What an unlikely couple! (Not that they were, or are going to be a couple) Somehow, even though the chemistry displayed in this scene was rather random; yet it's really convincing. It's highlights a point that I've been thinking about recently; of how your enemies or even strangers might know you better than your friends. Sometimes when you put the most unlikely people together through a common ordeal, an inexplicable chemistry just develops, even though you may not know anything about the person beyond his/her name or maybe even not the name in the first place! It seems that there's something common in all of us; and once that's revealed, how well you know a person is no longer measured by how long you have known him/her. And I like the character Maya now! :D She has an interesting character. So many facades that I don't know which is true; though I hope the 'her' observed in this scene is her innate self - that simple self yearning to retire at some island. And yes, my fav char from Season 1 - J! :D Not to mention he has hair that's close to white this time! He's another interesting character. He has such sharp senses and acute judgement.  @ 8:36 PM
Who knows? Was at NUS today! :D Came so close to engin canteen, but alas due to the huge crowd (yes, even in the hols. There was some tour group there, I think), we settled for Mac instead. It's a really cool day! I'm enjoying my work experience; as for the work itself, I'll really try my best :) and hmm crash course myself on several stuff. Anyway, I feel that I've been rather inefficient for the past few days and it's time to revise my working pace and press on! Really hope to churn out something meaningful and be useful for this short 8 weeks. Even though I've just started work (today marks exactly one week), but I can already see the 依依不舍 at the end of 8 weeks. I think a comment made by one of my colleagues today is very true. Who knows? Who knows where I will be 2 - 3 years from now? Some things that I thought I'll never venture into might turn up to be my future path. Choices that I've rejected at the back of my mind now, could turn out to be the right one for me. Indeed, that's the next question I should be asking, besides why not? Shall try to explore all possibilities, rather than just settling for what I think I'm suitable for/have interest in. Just try. 孫燕姿 - 眼神 Nice tune :D Tuesday, May 18, 2010 @ 9:03 PM
Naive  "I was naive" - Heard this few months back which left an impression in me, and now it's ringing in my head.  Every step taken, always remember, "Handle with Care" (Even though this advise used to be a joke) Lol.. =P @ 12:03 AM
Moving on positvely Good day at work today! I like my working environment :D And yay I think I'm gonna have my laptop tomorrow, so I can start work proper now! wee~ so exciting! Actually, I can't wait to see what kind of work I can churn out. Everything seems so exciting! lol. I think I'm in a high mood now, that's why. On a side note, my library trip on Saturday was very fruitful! Borrowed 4 books, with 2 long-awaited books - The Selfish Gene and Black Swan. :D Only started on a few pages, but I really like this portion in Black Swan, which says that history is better learnt through diaries, because those are thoughts of incidents penned down immediately, without revision of facts. I think it's true; as my narration of experiences tend to become more rational if I were to delay my posting and somehow the essence wouldn't be captured adequently. Okies moving back, went for a random last-minute-decided K session today after work. I think I'm gonna say that PartyWorld has the best range of songs, because it can Just One Last Dance. I once searched high and low for it, expressing disappointment when I fail to find it at various k branches; yet when I did find it, that's just it and what's next? Maybe I didn't really want to find it even though I thought I did want to find it. Maybe it's just a scenario that I choose to place myself in and somehow I've convinced myself that that's a reality; when it's all just a form of self-delusion? Lots of fun ahead, I think! This is a fulfiling holiday! :D Monday, May 17, 2010 @ 12:27 AM
Project Picnic in the Rain Project "Picnic in the Rain" is officially declared as a success! :D Weather wasn't on our side, cos it rained but fortunately, we were already in the Pavilion so no harm done! Furthermore, it was fortunate that we hadn't booked a BBQ pit or bought some portable DIY bbq too; cos we wouldn't have gotten the chance to carry out the BBQ. Eat raw food? :O The shopping experience was rather fun too. Had a variety of food too - DIY sandwich, potato salad, chips, sushi, egg mayo, garlic bread, cheesecake, mango yoghurt, banana + choc chips, mashmellow, sausages, home brewed barley, green tea. Everything turned out to be nice! :D Played card games too - daidee, blackjack, indian card (what's the title again?), heart attack. Had interesting experiences - some weird person taking video of us (?!?!), that same weird person shining torchlight at us (?!?!), had a mother telling us to be quiet cos her child was sleeping, had people borrowing cards from us and attempting to talk to us, had a separate group of people wanting to join in our card game O.o And I realise I might be allergic to the sea/beach, following my weird allergy to coffee. I'm often down with flu whenever I come close to the sea. haha! So weird, but at least I'm fine now. Headed down to PP after that and we spent some time @ Marks and Spencers. Tried so many testers. Anyway, I think my nails feel more "moisturized" now. haha. Finally, I got to try the long-awaited Koi Bubbletea. Had Caramel Milk Tea with 25% Sugar. My conclusion is that, Koi is indeed over-rated. It's definitely better than Sweet Talk, but nonetheless, not worth its price. Just the hype and word-of-the-mouth that makes it seem really good. Milk tea was nice, I must say, but not wow. Read about Cup Walker and heard first-hand review from my friend; I definitely want to try it out some day. :D  Nice day and chill-out session! And we decided on weekly activities! :D Dinner coming up next week! Yay! On a side note, I wanted to say R.I.P to my favourite watch; but my dad managed to change the battery today! So it's alive and kicking now. Yay! Welcome back, watch! :D  Saturday, May 15, 2010 @ 9:52 AM
When negatives meet positivity Went for a run today. Feels good and weather's good too. :) So much so that I just had to increase my number of rounds to 25, that means 6.25 - 7.5 km worth of distance. Nice! I'm so gonna hit 10 click one day. As usual, running gives me some alone time to think. Today, I think that I've always been asking the wrong questions all these while, ie. "why? how? can i? is it possible? what if? what will happen if?" All these reflect fears, whether of uncertainties, lack of confidence, of the future, etc. It's time to adjust my mentality to switch to asking the question of "why not?". All along, I needed compelling reasons for me to do anything, otherwise I'll just stay in my own comfort zone. Now, I think I want to venture out to unknown regions, perhaps even out of my "expertise zone", just for the sake of the experience, unless there are pressing reasons suggesting for me not to do so. At the end of the day, many of the fears are actually unfounded and upon reflection, turn out to be just excuses for escapism. Just try, and don't feel awkward trying, because the thought of awkwardness is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Anyway, regarding interactions with others, I think I've always had lots of inhibitions and reservations. Not that I'm going to become outgoing overnight, but I guess when I first interact with others, I shouldn't bring along the mentality that, "Okays, I think they're gonna hate me and have negative impression of me. What should I do? Maybe I shouldn't do anything." What I should have is a postive attitude. I know this isn't me because I actually feel more comfortable remaining solemn/silent, however, housing those negative thoughts accumulates ill-feelings over time making me feel horrible too. The thing is about striking a balance, to still be myself without being overly repressed - I ain't a Ms. Popular or Ms. Crowd Entertainer, but I certainly ain't intending to become Ms. Hated, at least not by virtue of my own imagination. So, I think a good starting point would be to mimick the positivity aura that impressed me towards the end of last sem. That's not me I know, but I'll figure out my own style someday. Yes, this shall be the way forward! Whatever that might have gone wrong, has already gone wrong; what I can do now, is to try to right the wrong and not grumble about the wrongs. :) Labels: Reflection Friday, May 14, 2010 @ 10:28 PM
Full of random stuff Random fact of the day: It's Happy 50th Anniversary to lasers (Light amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation) ! It used to be just part of sci-fi until the high-intensity light source was finally developed at California's Hughes Research Lab. It started off as just a light beam, later it was used for surgery purposes (carbon dioxide laser), aesthetics, cd/dvd, telecommunications purposes. Now, the thing that amazes me is that, actually to me laser is just like yet-another-thing in my life which I hadn't exactly paid much notice to. Nonetheless, it's everywhere serving us. But, back then, it was just part of sci-fi; something which even scientists dismissed as mere 'solution looking for problem'. So that's science, the power of creating (or discovering) something impossible. I like.. End of first week (or rather 3 days) of work. On a rather positive note too! I'm so gonna look forward to work and hopefully, I'm able to deliver whatever I claimed I will be doing. Honestly speaking, I really do quite like the environment over there. Too bad it's not really my main interest which is more of nano/bio. And anyway, they don't need chem engineers too. haha. Exciting weekend ahead! BBQ with uni frens coming up soon. It's a pity I couldn't be actively involved in the planning since I'm at work. :( Anyway, I think some weird habits ought to disappear from view, or at least be hidden away from public knowledge. Though it's a repeated statement, but yes, it's time to become normal. hahaha. And also to stop drop fish when I know I ain't giving the cat away. Actually, I'm still of opinion that unsaid things are most exciting. Explicity greatly decreases the fun of it all. Labels: Random Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 9:14 PM
Work started! Work officially started yesterday! :D I think the environment's great! Exactly the way I thought it would be. And my mentor's very nice; I think she gives a big sister kinda feel. The sad thing is that, my watch went out of battery on my first day of work :( It was my favourite watch, which has been with me for only 2 years. Sob. The thing is, the metal portion seems to be completely sealed off (no screws anywhere) so there's no chance of me changing the batt, unless I smash my entire watch open. Haix. To top it off, I couldn't bring in my hp to my workplace yesterday so I was totally without any time check. I constantly stared out of the window, thinking to myself if it's knock-off time. Fortunately, my mentor did come to tell me it's 6 already! haha. And I think my PR skill's really bad. Or rather, I don't think I have it in the first place. In the midst of friendly colleagues, all I could do is to remain silent, not knowing what to say or how to join in. Hmm, okays that's not an excuse, I gotta try to join in and not just be physically in the group but nonetheless still pseudo-out. Haha, and I realise their convo can get quite funny and mindless at times, which is precisely how I behave with my close friends, so technically speaking, it shouldn't be hard for me to join in if I'm in my (ab)normal self. Things have to get better and I have to learn; otherwise I've just wasted another job experience. Overall feeling positive about work! :D Tuesday, May 11, 2010 @ 6:28 PM
Shutter Island Watched "Shutter Island". Overall, it was quite a good show, about 3.5/5.0. The suspense was there, which had me guessing throughout the entire show. However, I felt that the ending didn't really do the entire show justice and was rather predictable. *Spoiler* I thought it was rather obvious that the lead is the 67th patient (which is often the case for such thrillers show); also, it's quite obvious that his partner, Chuck, is Dr. Sheehan. It's quite the usual plot for the lead to go on a journey investigating something, only for everything to spiral back towards himself. Nonetheless, the storyline build-up was quite good and I was engaged throughout the entire show, waiting for more secrets to be revealed. Tomorrow's the first day of work! I think I've been enjoying myself so much these few days that the end of exams felt like ages away, despite it being only 4 days since last Friday. Actually I quite look forward to work since I think the job scope does require some skills I've learnt from engineering/econs. Hope that I don't make a fool out of myself tomorrow! :D @ 12:47 AM
"Happening" days Spent Sunday at my relative's housewarming buffet lunch session. It quite shocking to know how two of my relatives thought I was from Architecture. The funny thing was that, the whole conversation appeared to make sense in the beginning. "So your degree will take 5 years to complete?" "Yups." (Didn't suspect anything wrong) "I see. *pauses* Ya, architecture degree is like that one." *Shocked face* "Huh?" Not to mention how almost every other person thought I'm in some other course rather than chemical engineering. My friend currently in chem eng once thought I'm definitely in chemistry; so did many of JC teachers as well as one of my JC classmate (whom i suspect still think that way haha). Some thought I was from material science. Others guessed that I was from business or arts (well, right to some extent). Everything under the sun, except for Engineering; nobody came close to thinking that I'm from chem eng except for those who heard directly from me. So I shall say again, "I'm from Chemical Engineering." lol. As for today, it's a rather happening day with lots of events taking place. Started off with a haircut session! Quite satisfied! I think I need some nutrients for my hair! Shall hunt for it someday. Later on, met 2 of my uni frens to return to TJ for a visit. Met my JC classmates-cum-RT for lunch. Hmm, it's quite unfortunate that almost all my teachers (suddenly the word teacher seems very foreign to me) weren't available; and I realise that I can get really nervous and scared thinking about doing a one-on-one conversation with them, or anyone for that matter. Somehow I feel that many things are better left to the imagination, rather than for them to actually occur. In your mind, there's the beauty of uncertainties and the constant excitement of guessing how things could turn out to be. Yet when things happen, they simply, happen. Sometimes, we imagine how things could have turned out to be or try to guess an answer; yet there's always this lingering subconscious tug telling us that the suspense is the fun of it all. Anyhow, we left for Tampines after the brief TJ visit. First up, we went to Recruit Express since one of us was called for an interview and the other one decided to make an application for job. I joined in for fun lol. Just on a side note, I found the consultants rather funny; before they dispatch applicants to their respective interview venue, they often will say, "Just try not to say anything wrong and appear outspoken. I'm sure you can do it. Confirm one la." The thing is, did they really know their applicants so well to the extent that they can confirm this person will definitely shine in the interview? The fact that they repeated the same thing to different people disturbs me. It's probably a nice, kind act to say such encouraging statements just to boost the interviewee morale, but if it's reduced to just a line said out of habit (somewhat like a ritual), then that sentence loses its meaning isn't it? Okies anyway, next up was a shopping trip around CS/TM. Thanks to my friend who went around with me to get some clothes for work. Bought a jacket that somewhat looked like a blazer. Thanks to her too, I wasn't psycho-ed into getting some pants/top/belts etc. I guess I wasn't firm enough in asserting what I want and didn't want and I was ever ready to give in to their recommendation as I found it hard to reject. It's something I have to learn though. I'm happy with my buy anyhows :D Went around trying to get shoes/tops but emerged empty-handed. After the friend who was dispatched for an interview returned, we went on some food hunt and weirdly enough, settled for bread @ Four Leaves. Next was a trip to T1 and we spent the bulk of our time @ Times. Haha as crazy as ever, though not suspicious enough :P Later on, headed down to Vivocity for a supposedly class dinner. I was terribly late =X Turnout rate was 5 of us, yet to be honest, I really prefer small group gathering rather than having a long table of a huge crowd. Ate @ King Louis, which was a rather nice place to be in. Good ambience and service, not to mention a rather generous serving of food, which was quite good. Price was reasonable too, noting how satisfied we felt after the meal. This reminds me of the Friday evening outing I had with my uni friends - Aston is another really value-for-money western food outlet. An enjoyable night indeed. :)  I think I really enjoy bus trips alot, especially those on bus 30. That familiar road; the luxury of time to just sit there alone and think. It really feels good and the alone-time enjoyed really helps clear my mind. Seriously hope that they won't axe this long distance bus. Monday, May 10, 2010 @ 12:30 AM
Tuesdays with Morrie Tuesdays with Morrie is a good book, even though I'm not really a fan of inspirational books. Basically, it's about a young man, Mitch, and his old professor, Morrie; of how Mitch got to rediscover Morrie in the last few weeks of his life in the form of a 'final class' (lessons in how to live life), culminating in the 'last thesis' (which is the book). Oh by the way, it's a true story. We need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. For all the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what we should have done. I always wished *insert wishes* I used to beat myself over it. Now I see that never did any good. Make peace. You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you.It's the search for an inner peace. I often find myself in internal conflicts, as a result of the battle of the mind. Admittedly, I have lots of misgivings about almost every other thing under the sun. Things that mattered, things that didn't mattered; anything that has gone slightly wrong will just enter my checklist of regrets as I ponder over why things happened the way they did. Knowing it's useless thinking about things that have already happened doesn't make it easier to walk the talk. Still, it's an important advise and it's something I have to learn. People are only mean when threatened and that's what our culture does. That's what the economy does. You need to build your own little subculture. The big things - how we think, what we value - those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone - or any society - decide for you.A mind of my own. I can hardly make decisions for nitty gritty stuff, but for the bigger picture about life, I do have my own personal beliefs and values which I don't compromise on. They're hardly influenced by society or any religions; in fact, some things that I hold onto run opposite of what the norm dictates. Nonetheless, the 'radical' form merely resides in the mind, I'm pretty much a comformist in reality; living life the way it ought to be - the tested and tried method. It's all part of the same problem. We put our values in the wrong things. And it leads to very disillusioned lives. We've got a form of brainwashing going on; things are repeated over and over again - more is good, more is good, such that nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all these, he has no perspective of what's really important anymore. That I have to agree, we're all wired and programmed in a certain subtle yet well-defined manner. It's reflective of what I've been trying to do all these while - to be able to differentiate between what matters and what doesn't. I don't wanna waste my effort and time being overly bothered about things that is defined to be important, but nonetheless wouldn't matter at the end of the day. Money, achievements, fame, status? But I know I still am bothered; the thing is that I really want to recognise what's really important alongside with all these AOB factors such that I don't lose view of things that mattered in the midst of all these craziness. What I'm doing now, is detaching myself from the experience. Detachment means letting the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never ever get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerabilities that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, you experience them completely and fully. And only then can you say, "Alright I have experienced that emotion. I recognise that emotion. Now I need to detach myself from that emotion for a moment." That I'll call it "compartmentalizing of emotions". It's something I've been trying to do recently - often I'll tell myself, okay I'm gonna spend (the length of this song/one round around the track/today) thinking about whatever I have to think at one shot; and then throw it out of my mind thereafter. I end up telling myself the same thing over and over again for the same single thing. Which simply means, I haven't learnt the skills of detachment, and hence I'm still unable to see things clearly. If I say I've understood/let go/saw through various stuffs, I think it's likely to be just a lie I'm convincing myself to believe (to be honest). I did wonder though, if Morrie were truly able to see through the mask of life; or was it because he was left with no choice but to accept the views of life he ended up having. Would he have seen things the same way if he were a healthy old man? Does being in the transition stage between life and death really make you see things clearer, or does it forces you to be accepting of an optimistic view of the bleak future? Maybe I'm asking this question due to my own inadequency to fully comprehend the degree of enlightment Morrie had; perhaps I'm just immature and inexperienced in life; or maybe I'm just skeptial. The question lingers on though.. I believe there's a difference between what we really want, and what we're okay with. The result might be the same - we end up doing them anyway since there's no negative feeling towards it. Yet, are we able to distinguish our second best options from what we truly believe in? And, do we settle for our second-best option though deep-down, there's this hunch feeling that something is not quite right? Yet, are we stubborn if we insist on finding that right feel and refusing to take what's second-best? Sunday, May 09, 2010 @ 11:07 AM
Moving On --*In a tiny world of my own*-- That used to be my first blog title. Several changes were made along the way, mostly reflecting polarised extremes. The last blog title I had was "the forgotten past. the non-existent present. the future that never comes." I guess they were all reflective of my attitude towards life at various stages of my life and the way I interpret reality. Basically, I think I've always been torn between dilemmas that I often set for myself, resulting in the internal conflict of the mind. And now, I'm settling for the concept of randomness. Maybe what I'm doing now is to tidy up my online presence. Changed my keyboard shortcuts for many of my msn emoticons as I'm really sick of seeing them popping up for almost every other word that I type. I used to be crazy over them, but somehow, they no longer reflect my mentality as I chat on msn, that is, if I do chat in the first place. Even if I'm quite sure that I ain't going to use most of the emoticons anymore, I'm still unable to click on "delete". Hmm that's the part of me that's unwilling to let go of anything, and it's a trait that I ought to work on. Right now, I just want things to be simple and sleek. Yup, moving on, that's what I'm doing. That's just life. @ 12:39 AM
Vincent's 21st Birthday celebration It's Vincent's 21st Birthday celebration today! It was held at Chuan's Park at Lorang Chuan. Lol. And it was sort of like a class gathering for us since most of us turned up for the event. (Going to sleep soon so fastforward) I think the single most memorable event in the party was his speech - literally (felt like National Day Rally hahaha). In spite of length, I especially liked the "recapping 21 years of his life" concept and taking the opportunity to express his gratitude towards people who have made a difference to his life. Actually, I think that the 12 minutes wasn't sufficient but nonetheless significant. And looking at the turnout rate, I think it's really touching to have representatives from different phases of your life turning up for a single special occasion - Relatives, pri/sec/jc/work friends. Looking at myself, I dunno how many people I'm able to invite, and alas how many will actually turn up, if I do host such events (which I wouldn't be lol). I dunno how many of my friends are considered my "close friends", that is, whether the close friends that I perceive do see me as their close friends too. A random thought I had during the party is that, it's a completely different feel that I have with different groups of friends. I used to be so used to the B*ing style of my JC class that I felt restricted with my uni friends since nobody will know what exactly I'm laughing at since they're really random things. Now that I'm so used to the random things that we talk about in uni, I feel restricted not being able to "share the joy" with my JC friends. Not to mention that uni has indeed shaped several of us in a certain way, which has yet to happen to my friends who haven't entered uni. I didn't really feel that my way of thinking has changed much over the years, but yes indeed it has, as I realised today. Also, we've all proceeded in different directions in life, bringing with us different experiences. Hmm okays this is going nowhere so I'm going to sleep now. haha. Saturday, May 08, 2010 @ 12:55 AM
Reflection of 2 years of uni life It's just some random stuff that I've been thinking about there and then and they're basically just my own personal opinion.. My take on chemical engineering It all started this way "I like chemistry, but I dunno what I can do with a chemistry degree. Engineering seems more versatile and chemical resembles chemistry". Throughout my first year, I still didn't know what it's all about as the main focus was on foundation modules. The only year 1 CN module wasn't particularly encouraging, and I think many of us thought, "Huh, what is this? Why am I here?" Personally, I thought silently to myself quite a couple of times, "Why did I give up my place in chemistry for this?" Somehow things did pick up towards the end, when I finally sort of understood what's going on; so year 1 ended on an okay note. Year 2 was the turning point I think. That's when I developed genuine interest and perhaps even passion towards chemical engineering. It all made more sense to me now, and it helps to have modules that cross with each other. It all started with thermodynamics in sem 1, and then chemical kinetics and the transport phenomena in sem 2. It helps to have inspiring/friendly/smart/sharp/wise lecturers too. Though rather irrelevant, I think that the entire feel package just has to be there. The conventional impression we have of chemical engineers = oil ain't true. It's probably still the main focus of chemical engineering nonetheless, since that's where the money comes in; but we're increasingly delving into the bio industry. We've always been told by graduates that, oh it's about builiding plants; but that's really just a vague and rather inaccurate description. It makes us look more technical and boring than what it's really about. Also, that's pretty much applicable to every other engins too. It's important to note that different discipline of engineering is required for the culmination of any project. Our specialization varies; it can be to transport things from one end to another (the chemist will figure out how exactly the reaction works; the civil/mech eng will figure out the structure itself etc) or for separation purposes, which is said to be one of our key strengths. Moving away from process, engineering principles are applicable on microscopic scale too. Eg. In drug delivery, we don't exactly try to figure out what drug is used for what purpose; rather, it's more about how exactly to deliver the drug precisely to where we want it within a certain stipulated time frame. Once again, it's about moving things in some sense. Perhaps I should say, the scientists will figure out the why, while we will think over the how. So what exactly does it involve? So far, I see that we're grounded mainly on balances, be it mass, energy or momentum balance. It's about equilibrium, and for that, thermodynamic is the king More importantly, it's about being decisive about making certain assumptions, being sharp in identifying the key factors, applying theoretical concepts and finally checking to see if the assumptions do make sense in addressing the main issue. It's a process of simplification together with refinement and fine-tuning along the way. My take on coursework and workload Before entering the course, there's been lots of talks about how competitive it is etc. Having been through 2 years, I think that the situation isn't that bad. True, everyone's very driven and we all work hard; but I think that's common in uni. Maybe in year 1, people might be slack and contented as in JC times, but most do wake up subsequently. Do we have the best brains? I used to think that way, having heard all the horror stories; but if you're thinking about a whole cohort of very smart people (I mean, really smart), then nopes; I think hardworking and driven describes us better. Regarding workload, things ain't that bad. I believe the seniors had it worse and because of their feedbacks, the situation improved for us. Though I can't really say for the fourth year, where all the MCs have gone to. My own personal experience is that.. For year 1, I basically ignored the "6" part about "3-1-0-6" workload commitment, meaning I just attend lectures, do tutorials and revise before exams. I think it's a JC kinda thing, which is quite an inappropriate way to approach uni. It's okay for any other modules, except for CN. At least for me, the 1st CN module's tutorial had me going "Huh, what is this?", and with every week, it only gets more and more demoralising. The tutorial of another module, Fluid Mech, had me going "Huh, what is this?" too with every session (at least for the first few tutorial sessions). Subsequently, when I started studying properly and seriously, I realised that the concepts ain't that difficult nor is it impossible to understand. It turned out that lack of effort was the root of the problem. It's the attitude that, "Huh? What is this? Aiya, I can't do it. Wait for tutorial solution la. *case close*", rather than "Hey, I don't understand this; let me slowly think over it and digest the materials." that led to the vicious cycle. As for overloading, it's not really that bad. In fact, I still sort of regret not seriously overloading this semester, despite getting the module and approval already. It feels uncomfortably slack somehow probably cos my workload dropped from 24MC last sem to 22MC this sem. I thought back then that there's lots of CN modules this sem together with a lab module, so it's better to go slow. But really, the one that elicit lots of effort during the sem is the lab module, but that's a module that I truly enjoyed alot. Oh yes, just try not to overload purely CN modules; I haven't tried it and I don't think it's gonna be too friendly. My take on learning styles All along, I've been learning things in this way - trying to understand, apply for a variety of questions and then identifying the patterns involved. All long, I thought this meant that I've understood. Thinking back, maybe not. Perhaps what I've done is just to understand how a certain input of data can lead to the output of results through certain steps; but not really how the steps work per se. It was an effective way in some sense, to be able to identify patterns quickly and just apply whatever I thought I knew. This semester changed my learning style actually. I'm just so into deriving stuffs recently, probably inspired by a lecturer. And I really have to agree that, it is only through deriving everything from scratch can you understand the rationale behind everything; and that's when true understanding takes place. It's rigorous and definitely not easy, but I'm happy going down this path, especially at the Eureka! moment. It feels as though I'm no longer just a machine recognizing inputs and producing the necessary outputs, but serious thoughts have been put into whatever I'm doing. Thinking is important - that I have to agree. It's good to know that I'm thinking more recently but not unnecessarily. It's most obvious when I go for lab sessions. In the past lab sessions, I'll be super careful and tensed up trying to follow all steps. Being so overly cautious, I'm left with no capacity to seriously consider the rationale behind what I'm doing, except that that's what I ought to be doing according to the lab manual. Chem Eng Lab changed everything. I'm no longer a strict follower of the manual; rather it's just a guide for me, and I'll devise my way of interpretating the data based on the results I'm obtaining. How should I say, in the past, it's about being careful such that you can get the result you are supposed to get. Now, there's no final result that you ought to get, and this gives me the opportunity to think through the current results obtained to see if it does make sense, otherwise my theoretical background will aid me in diagnosing what went wrong and from there, make the necessary judgement on how best to modify the experiment, taking into account the discrepancy. I like it when there's no fixed desired end, and we're free to devise our own methodology. :D My take on grades and bell curves It's a love-hate relationship where it can work for or against you. I think I can safely say that most people don't like the feeling that your success is based on others' failure and visa versa. Nonetheless, I think one lecturer's words sums this relationship best, "That's the reality and we're slowly showing the face of life bit by bit." Well, that's it, for the better or worse, good or bad, we just have to live with it because that's just life. The same person said that grades wouldn't matter at the end of the day even though it might appear to mean the world to us now. I trust his words though it's hard to be nonchalant towards the letters. Often, they are just a passport for us to get somewhere but once we're there, it doesn't matter anymore. Yup, so it might be good to be less bothered by all these and concentrate more on the learning process, but saying is always easier than doing. My take on advises It could be a good thing to talk to seniors to know more about what to expect, but always take things with a pinch of salt. Often I find that things are exaggerated, especially if it falls on the bad side. I guess it's just human nature for people to think that whatever they're experiencing is the worst things can get and it seems that everyone's pitting to portraying themselves in a worse-off state. The point is that, the process itself has been interpretted by them in their own way and the best way to know how it really is like is to live through it yourself. Interpretting others' interpretation tends to lead to a picture that's not reflective of what it actually is. In fact, I myself have been rather bothered by what others say about certain modules, especially for those branded as "killer modules". So much so that those very words become a barrier to my learning, whereby the moment something can't be done, I'll tell myself, "This is out to kill. That's it. It's normal." I think the psychological effects of seniors' words is most obvious in this scenario - I was able to solve tutorial questions until the point where I overheard this advise that "this module is horrible etc"; from then, my tutorials end up mostly unsolved. lol. My take on uni life in general I enjoy the independence and freedom enjoyed in university actually. Social dynamics is rather different though as your various degrees of friends appear in a network form; you are no longer in a fixed class, rather everyone's everywhere and you might have a friend whose friend is your other friend's friend, or something like that. I'm really bad at this as I'll always feel awkward when I meet random people whom I might supposedly know but actually maybe not too. Do we say hi, or do we just act busy and walk by each other? Sometimes it's quite a headache walking past long corridors as there's no chance of making detours. For this, I'm grateful for those who take the initiative to say the first hi, and also to those who return my smiles and greetings, albeit a subtle and awkward one. Fortunately, I have a fixed group of friends that I definitely can say harlo~ comfortably, have lunch with, do and say weird things with, so I guess things ain't that bad. But I'm still not very used to the fact that in tutorials where there's group discussion, we can all be talking freely yet the moment we step out of the room, everyone becomes strangers. I think the best of uni life is probably found through CCAs perhaps, which I'm not part of actually. When it ain't compulsory, i get lazy trying to join one even though I might be tempted to be part of some CCAs. Nonetheless, CCAs can get quite complicated from what I've heard, and the politics involved are things that I'm glad to steer clear of. It's an experience that I'll gladly choose not to have until I'm forced to face it someday. Personally, I think I'm enjoying uni life that much is because of my group of friends so I'm really glad to have them around. It's gonna be so weird if I have to go to lectures/tutorials, lunch or roam around alone, or perhaps with random groups of people on different days depending on who I'm able to grab. Yups, so in conclusion, two years in uni has been a good one and I'm definitely enjoying every bit of my life as an undergraduate :D @ 12:38 AM
Exams done! Alrights! All my exams are finally done! :D .JPG)  Special thanks to.. Our Particle Tech cheatsheet! Left: Dearest Levenspiel, Right: Our fav W3R, Bottom: Particle Tech (*Did you know? The author of the textbook, Prof Martin Rhode is currently in the very ground of our department!) Top: Intermediate Microecons - Hal. Varian.  What I'm feeling now is totally different from what I was feeling throughout the entire sem and exam period, that is, I used to hope that everything wouldn't end anytime soon but now, I'm just relieved about everything. Haven't felt so relaxed for a long time. Looking back, I think I should give a pat on my shoulder for having survived 3 months of weekly assignments rushing, few weeks of intensive projects rushing and the numerous hours committed towards my coursework. It was a good journey, and currently, I'm more of glad/relieved than sad that it has all come to an end. Nonetheless, it has ended and that's fact regardless of my response, so moving on to my 3 months break! Besides my internship, I'm wondering if I should do some other stuff this coming holiday to enrich my life. There's a list of possibilities that I'm looking at, which I didn't really have the luxury to think over yet but nonetheless, I think I should give serious thoughts to everything soon. And also, after such a crazy semester with a few of us behaving in a "sort sort" manner, I think the 3 months would serve as a good break to all the craziness. I enjoyed all the laughters of cos, but it all felt so surreal, and sometimes, I scare myself as much as how others are shocked at me. So, there's a need for me to ground myself back to reality again. haha.Throughout the exam period, I was thinking of having a post consolidating all my thoughts towards my 2 years of university life. Though admittedly, the mood I'm having now is rather different from that then, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a mini reflection on life thus far. :D Thursday, May 06, 2010 @ 5:51 PM
Just a random thought And that was the end of my second last paper. It's freedom for most people and I'm counting down to mine too! Anyway, I randomly visited a blog that I had long time ago (which didn't contain much stuff). Hmm, I can't believe that was me back then; I've always believed that my style of blogging was rather consistent. Oh wells, another evidence of choosing to believe in what we want to believe in, that is, until the truth reveals. The similarity is that, I've always been talking in a cryptic manner, just that, I couldn't exactly decipher what I meant back then. Probably I do have an idea, but I ain't sure if they correspond exactly to the respective incidents back then. :O I wonder if maybe at the end of my uni life, when I look back at the past 4 or 4.5years, will I be able to interpret what I was saying all along? Was randomly thinking if I should.. 1) Grab a convenient opportunity laid nicely in front of me just to gain the experience. 2) Fight for what I'm really interested in, in spite of the need to source for everything from scratch. Throughout my life, I think I've been living it the #1 way. That's before I realised where my area of interest lie in. Now, I think I know or maybe I should say, before truly experiencing it, I wouldn't know if that's the path that's suitable for me. Recently, I've grown to be slightly more radical (at least to myself, I observe that slight change. and i don't mean very radical la.) and actually, I really want to try to fight for what I think I want, in spite of the mess and blunders I might land myself in. I dunno what I'll regret more - landing myself into akward situations thereafter, or not even bothering to fight in the first place. Lol, why do I make it sound as though there'll be regrets either way I go? Maybe things will turn out just fine. And so, back I go to my econs! Game theory! Optimal Control! DE/Integration/Financial econs. wohoo~ Labels: Random Wednesday, May 05, 2010 @ 5:02 PM
It's random Hmmm, I was at my friend's blog, which was playing a certain song. And, the radio happened to be playing that too. Is that.. coincidence or just plain weird and creepy? lol. Anyways, I almost wanted to say tomolo is the end of exams when I recalled my last paper is on Friday. lol. Anyway, nonetheless, the end is nearing and it feels.. weird. Shall lunch in school for the next 2 days I think, before I bid NUS goodbye for 3 months. 3 weeks came and went; another 3 weeks came and is about to be gone. That's 6 weeks in total, yet it feels like yesterday (as clinche as it might sound). Still, I'm quite excited about my holiday! Hope it's gonna be an eventful one, shall see how things go tomolo. For now, back to HMT! :D [edited 5.45pm] and the radio continues to play song. Labels: Random Monday, May 03, 2010 @ 9:51 PM
Productive day in school Another discussion day in school, and it's surprisingly productive! :D We even ended it off with consultations, and hence most of our doubts are cleared. most, that is. And it's a semi-exciting day, though of a lower magnitude when compared to the previous Friday. Haha. On a side note, I think that.. Things that don't matter, wouldn't matter even if you once thought it did matter. Things that do matter, will always return to haunt you (be it intensely or subconsciously) no matter how you try to convince yourself that it doesn't. Maybe there's no better way to differentiate the two cases than time itself - yes perhaps time will tell it all. On a random note, I've used the word diffuse again lol. I think it's a rather useful word and can aptly describe many situations, besides its technical meaning. So, I simply cannot let such a word diffuse away. :P Diffuse! Sunday, May 02, 2010 @ 6:52 PM
Clinched first online deal Clinched my first online deal! (Okies besides buying/selling used textbook.) Sold my Epson T10 printer :D Posted it few months back and I almost potentially had a buyer back then, but somehow the buyer just disappeared. Actually I've already forgotten that I'm selling my printer until this person contacted me recently and wee~ It's gone! Came back with a deficit of $5 though lol. Anyway, I'm quite 'amazed' with myself cos I felt like a salesperson just now. Requested for the person to check the goods, but she thought she could just trust me. So, I started elaborating about what's inside the box. Like really detailed - 3 cables (2 with the printer and another cable that somehow got inside), installation cd, installation manual and 4 ink cartridge. I even elaborated on the fact that those are test cartridges and thus will have lower ink level than normal cartridge, and how she could get them at an affordable price of $9.90. HAHA. But anw, she didn't misplace her trust in me lar, my printer is really in perfect working condition - only printed once. lol. Anyhow, she's supposedly a tourist now and before meeting her, I was trying to guess her nationality. Silently, I'm hoping it's a hong konger! wee~ It's been quite some time since I last heard some HK accent :P When i found out her name, I thought it's a Jap. Well, didn't appear to be so. but that's besides the point - the main thing is, I clinched my very first online deal! :D I'm a happy person now! And the walk to and fro somehow cleared my mind and cured me of my headache that's been bothering me since morning. :D Saturday, May 01, 2010 @ 9:37 PM
Collection of random thoughts 偶尔 is playing on air now. When was the last time I specially mentioned about this song? I have this song on my computer and hp, but the thing about catching it on air by chance always leaves a different type of impact. Maybe I could say that, every moment spent specially looking for a something is a moment lost in experiencing the surprises life has for us. Since I'm on the issue of songs, there's another funny thing that I realised about my playlist. Often, I have a playlist containing songs that matters. Yet along the way, I'll start adding more and more songs to the playlist such that it becomes just another playlist. When its distinctive feature gets eroded away with the increment in number of tracks, often of songs that didn't really matter, what I will do is that, I'll just start a new playlist. I simply cannot delete away songs from the playlist, even if they're songs that I often find myself skipping. It's reflective of the way I act in reality too - indecisive. The difficult part about making a choice isn't about choosing what you want, but learning to forgo what you do not want. I'd rather run away, do something else, go for the third option etc, than to just make the choice that I want bravely. Another random thought that I have is that, often we find ourselves saying things without anyone listening even though there could be people hearing. When we repeatedly say the same thing over and over again, what exactly are we trying to prove? Are we trying hard to get our point across? Could it be that we thought others haven't heard the point we're trying to make? Yet, isn't it ironical to repeat for such reason? Since the fact that they heard but did not listen to what you have to say meant that it ain't something that they will process in their mind, so what for repeat? Maybe on retrospect, it simply meant that we're not looking for a listening ear either; we just need a sense of security, a sort of approval while trying hard to elicit the desired response. Either way, the conversation ain't working because we're saying things with an outcome in mind, and they're not listening despite hearing it. Looking back within myself, the more others want me to see a certain point, but ain't telling me directly; the more I will not get the point, despite getting it. Bottomline is, I don't exist just to serve the ends others seek to get; and conversely, I should also learn not to do/say things with specific ends in mind. We don't need others to certify or reassure our own existence; even if they do, it's just hollow words forced out by our own means. Same goes the other way round. A one word summary of everything can be found in sincerity. Anw, for the past 2 days, the rumour about Lady Gaga has been spreading over the net like wild fire. To be honest, I was shocked and disgusted when I first chanced upon the news. Felt sick, really. On second thought, it can't be real, especially if we were to look at where it originated from (I think I was searching about it first hand the moment the source appeared). Now the point is, media is really scary and it simply highlights the importance of being able to discern truth from lies. Whether it's real, I think the originator has managed to achieve his/her goal - everyone's talking about this. Looking at things in broader persective, it's hard to ignore the fact that many things have a larger end embedded within the official outcome portrayed. It's just like all those psychological experiments conducted - how they'll tell you 'what it is about' when actually that just serves as a mean for them to fulfil the real purpose of the experiment. I've always wondered if that's ethical. Hmmm... Okies end of randomness and back to my HMT :D T3W! HAHAHA :D Labels: Reflection @ 1:20 PM
Up there with a crowd.. or none. Latest Jay Chou song was played over the radio and the DJ made a comment about the song. She was visualising the following scene while listening to the song: "Imagine yourself walking up this long flight of stairs - something endless, eg. in Jack and the Beanstalk. People gather around to watch you. As you climb to a high level and look down, people are cheering you to go on. Yet you stop and doubt your own ability to move on." She said it's a scary feeling. As a follow-up to the scene she was visualising, I'm thinking, what if there's this alternative scene: "You are still climbing up that same long flight of stairs and people did gather to watch you. Yet the next time you look down, you realise that you see no one. Either you are far too high up to see anyone, or they were once there just out of curiosity and have thus left to witness other happening events." Is it a scary thought? That no one is there to see you till the end, to give you the support or encouragement to move on? Or that you have proceeded far too much that you have lost everyone else from your sight? Which is scarier? To be up there with everyone expecting you to go even higher even though you feel that it's the max already; or to be up there alone? |