profile Scorpio Random friends Ah Ma Zu Bin Fang Elaine Hua Qian Piggy Evelyn John Mei Yin Si Jing Xue Fang Andrea Benny Florence Joe Rui Qi ohoneohsix Ilyana Peng Soon Qi Hui Ming Wang Theng Koe Vincent Wan Ting Wan Yee MDWAV yRandomy tagboard archives credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |
Sunday, January 31, 2010 @ 10:10 PM
Sony Ericsson Vivaz Sony Ericsson Vivaz!  Sounds nicer than the original kurara. haha. hmm high specs = launch price speculated to be >$1000. sigh. Thursday, January 28, 2010 @ 9:43 PM
Mad World Mad World Gary Jules (cover of Tears for Fears) All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for their daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow No tomorrow, no tomorrow And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very Mad World Mad world Children waiting for the day they feel good Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday And I feel the way that every child should Sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous No one knew me, no one knew me Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson Look right through me, look right through me And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very Mad World Mad World Enlarging your world Mad World. Wednesday, January 27, 2010 @ 8:04 PM
Critical. Critics. Criticism I think i've become more critical of things recently. Not too bad per se; at least it shows that I'm thinking. The downside is that, I'm still unable to live under critics. Or rather, I can't help but to continue to fear criticism. It's time to learn how to accept criticisms, especially if they're constructive and nothing personal. If i defend myself too much, I'm just running and hiding from the truth. Anyway, was randomly looking back at my past 1+ years in uni and I realise that i'm lazy to do things that I hoped to do. Not lazy in the sense that i don't do tutorials or study or do things that are instructed to me; I'm pretty much self-motivated and goal-oriented when there's things laid out for me to do. Rather, I'm lazy in pursuing things that are optional but nonetheless there in front of me. Be it CCAs, random CIP activities, some talks in topics im interested in, other opportunities - I never ever attended any one of them. Usually I'll feel excited, but the excitement remains as just an abstract source of energy never materializing into something substantial. At least starting this sem, I've become more proactive in seeking things that I want eg. NUH volunteering (although it all went down to nothing cos of timing mismatch) and signing up for some energy/gas talk (which talked about christmas trees lol). None was particularly successful, but it feels good having attempted to pursue what I want, whether or not the end was met. There's a whole lot of things that I want to do - mostly CIP stuffs and probably even source for some internship for this coming break (feel like trying research even though i didn't feel very positive towards this from previous experiences). I dunno if I'll be able to see everything through, especially so if no friends are with me. I guess there's always a time to learn to be independent; I just dunno when I'm ready to start learning. Well at least I've penned it down right here, setting a sort of "black and white" commitment to get things done! Labels: thoughts Sunday, January 24, 2010 @ 9:16 PM
Random thoughts and endless ramblings It's sweet to see how people can congregate together. Yet it's bitter to realise that these bonds are fragile. Just remember to handle with care. When you think that others' are not producing the quality work that matches your expectations, there's really no point complaining about anything. Either you correct them, or you just have to put in more effort to get what you want. Nobody's anyone's slave - we don't live for others. There's no necessity for one to live under others' expectations; neither is it reasonable to expect others to live by your expectations. The only thing we can correct is ourselves. Some things get really pointless after a while. Even though rigour of thoughts is required when processing information from scratch, it seems that the overwhelming phenomenon is that shortcuts are aplenty. Sure, you learn less by taking the easy way out. But the very phenomenon of such occurrence gives us an important lesson to life, that is, life might be a mere cascade of lies. To brave the rough path and gain intangible experience yet not being rewarded appropriately, or to walk the smooth path and emerge victorious after all? It's really a personal preference with no value judgement attached. After all, it's just a matter of who cheats best in the game of deceit. Just remember, as with all lies, the ends achieved by such methods usually do not mean a thing at the end of the day. Really, it doesn't matter at the end of the day. What did I say about learning to be slow and steady? It ain't time to panic yet. Continue to enjoy at the desired pace. Labels: Random @ 8:00 PM
Happy 21st Birthday Sarah Happy 21st Birthday Sarah! :D  attended her 21st birthday party @ simei green today. my first friend turning 21 this year; and my first time being invited to an official birthday celebration (i think..)  it's a joyous occasion yet i can't help but to think of many things silently by myself. time flies and we've already known each other for like 6-7 years. Clinche as it might sound, i really think that my secondary school days spent with all my frens didn't feel that distant. I treasure the friends i made then and am appreciative of the fact that we've remained in contact till today. It feels weird to see my friends turning into 21. It's probably the single most significant and recognised number when counting one's age; an arbitrary figure that separates teens from adults.  We've all come thus far and have subtly changed along the way (accumulating into significant changes actually when the "past" and "present" are compared side by side). I've always been rather nonchalant about birthdays, but i can't help but to get nervy about this year when most of my friends are about to turn 21. Anyway, hope that she likes our little "memory down the lane" for her and that we will still continue to be featured in the add-ons to the "memory lane". :) P.S. Blogger's not cooperating with me and is giving me upside down photos -.- @ 12:05 AM
19 21 just wished 2 people happy 21st moments ago. time really flies. when i started uni, we were just wishing each other happy 19th. in a blink of an eye, it's already twenty-first. just turned twenty not long ago and it feels weird to see my peers becoming twenty-one already. Saturday, January 23, 2010 @ 3:25 PM
Personality Disorder Test Disorder Rating Paranoid: Very High Schizoid: High Schizotypal: High Antisocial: Moderate Borderline: Low Histrionic: Low Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html Thursday, January 21, 2010 @ 9:25 PM
Curriculum changes Curriculum changes! Year 4's gonna be a heavy year.. Basically what's happening is that the workload for lower years has been reduced and everything's piled into the final design project which is worth 10MC as opposed to the previous 5MC. the thing is that, i think there's gonna be a major disruption to my planned schedule. Somehow to complete econs degree, I already have to overload my upper years. With this change, there'd be serious overload. Not a good thing i should say since it's FYP year and the modules are of higher level (even though they're technical electives meaning modules that i'm interested in). Just to grumble a little.. if i really did drop econs because of this.. there's some econs modules that i've yet to do - like Game theory!! and i only have one more slot for the minor. and i din get to do eng prof with my frens - it's gonna be a lonely year 4 experience doing tt alone. it's too late to think of these anyway, and they don't really matter that much actually. im just glad that i dropped macro; otherwise it would have taken up my final slot if i decide to drop to minor after all. On a lighter note.. If it really proves impossible to continue with econs because of this curriculum change, at least I can finally arrive at a firm decision to drop econs. And actually im not really upset that I might have to give up econs because of such sudden unforeseen changes. In fact, maybe I should say I feel slightly relieved? On a random note.. it feels like i've been "floating around" for the past few days, lost in the realm of the past and present. I think it's time for me to seriously re-align myself with the present and not be overly obsessed with the past. 无意间被解开的封印，是时候埋回记忆深处。 tat's just life. Wednesday, January 20, 2010 @ 6:54 PM
Three Christmas Trees I almost always form the wrong first impression of others. Still, I trust my judgement in the long run. Anyway, today I learnt about Christmas trees!  you have one christmas tree in a hole, and then we add another one and finally there's 3 christmas trees in the hole! -.-  Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho! Tuesday, January 19, 2010 @ 8:30 PM
琐碎。碎碎念 一天里两个不一样的巧合。 感觉上很像连续在933听见"Just one last dance"和errr.. "The elmo song?"那么难得与惊喜。 当然，是惊是喜就是另一回事。 当发生机率小的“偶尔”呈现在眼前时，应该如何应对？ 越来越觉得看不见的，听不到的，才是值得留意的。 明显的只会沦为表面，脆弱得很，甚至全是虚假。 或者应该说，真相的精髓会玩捉迷藏。 就算有能力，没自信的话，能力也难被认同。 他人想帮，也爱莫能助。 自己的结，唯有自己能解。 保护色太重，只会让自己原地踏步。 踏出一步，哪怕遍体鳞伤，也是经历人生的一部分。 该怕的不是失败，是不曾失败过。 有时，人的自我意识会太强。 人海茫茫中，大家会不经意地在乎别人对自己的看法。 问题是，大家都有同样想法，也就是说，没有人有多余的精力去真正评估其他人。 原来只是自己心里作祟罢了。 当我们觉得做某件事很丢脸时，或许别人心里有的不是嘲笑声，而是暗地里欣赏你肯做的勇气。 人是健忘的，忘了就算了。 别钻牛角尖。 Sunday, January 17, 2010 @ 8:53 PM
Misplanned? Hmm it appears that I was under the illusion that it's okay to do 6 modules this sem. On checking with the requirements again, it seems that I have to overload (>25MCs) either now or during my FYP year. Well, so there's been some serious misplanning somewhere. Still, I think I will proceed with my plans to drop macro this sem after all. (and wait for some other lecturers who follow Mankiw text in future sems) My overall plan for now is that.. If i'm able to get 2 biomolecule technical elective evening modules, then continue with econs since I'm able to finish within the stipulated 4.5 years (save for timetable/exam clashes =X) If I don't and if i happen to be willing to forsake my specialisation by then, I can still graduate in time by taking a common econs module - environmental economics. If I don't get them and am still persistent in getting my specialisation, then sayonara to econs degree and hi to econs minor then. Well of cos that's assuming that I will be accepted for IA. Okies, so I've potentially delayed my decision for another 1 year. Well done! Actually there's another possible route out - taking 7 modules in the 9th sem. It wouldn't really matter to me cos everything's left is econs. And out of the 2 choices - Making sense of society and sociology of work, the latter still appeals more to me. As for business and ethics, and applied ethics, oh wells.. [Edited Monday 8am] Officially dropped Macroeconomics Analysis II from CORS, refreshed IVLE and all traces of the modules were erased from my records. Bye for now and till then when we meet again (when it's Mankiw and not Williamson :P) Saturday, January 16, 2010 @ 9:42 PM
張克帆 兩個世界 (Couldn't find MV)
@ 9:57 AM
first week of school okies first week of school is over. "honeymoon week" is now over and gotta officially "settle down" le. now gotta churn out tutorials and read up for first lab session next week! anw been trying to source for ccas to inject some variety to my school life. might be joining NUH volunteering or Learning Bee project. and for short-term activity, might be considering Go Green day. shall see how again. actually till now, I'm still considering GeYao cause I think i'll be having lots of joy there! but i cant sing, cant compose, cant write lyrics =X on a random note, i shld be dropping macro, retaining degree and continue to think over it some day. thanks to everyone who provided their opinion :D [Edited 8.30pm] my micro econs lecturer just uploaded many lecture notes and to my horror, there's only 1 set for game theory! tell me this isn't happening to me.. i was looking very forward to taking this module (whose description on CORS states "with main emphasis on game theory") after game theory was removed from my foundation module =( Labels: school Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 11:48 PM
问题的答案？ 今天的《当我们同在一起》似乎回答了我多日前在想的问题。 “当你会跟我提起以前的事时，也就是你真正放下了的那一天。” 虽然如此，但我仍觉得一个人一直把过去挂在嘴边讲也是一种无法释怀的表现。 或许应该这么说，当烦恼只是皮毛罢了，就很容易想挂在嘴边发发牢骚但其实自己也没对此事有深刻的影响。当一件事对自己太重要时，就很难说出口。有多少怨言，不爽或痛苦，也会硬往肚子里吞。想找人谈谈却又不想让人知道。在这种情形，当一个人终于放下最后一道防线，把心里话吐露出来时，也就是自我解放的时候。 总的来说，似乎是那些听不到的话，才是真正的心里话。 @ 5:17 PM
Goodies from over-the-world I realise that i have goodies from all around the world in my possession now thanks to frens who travelled during the hols and brought back stuff! Thanks for all the goodies! :D
 Mua Chee from them too! but the funny thing that caught my eyes was the instruction.. "Please do not attract one grain by to swallow". It's direct translation, but what's with the "by to.."? Thanks to hc for the diary and white chocolate (i suppose? haven opened but it writes chocolate and has 白 haha!) and also cs (from uni one) for the sweet/choc (that can make a popping sound and has a riddle in french) plus the eiffel tower (chose the colour that rep the tower in its original state) and er yes i forgot to rotate the photo in the right orientation. haha.  and yes the food goodies from santa tuang/yap from china/malaysia :P haven't tried the chewing gum and jay chou tea yet! kept forgetting! tada~ feels like i've been to taiwan, jap, france, china, and malaysia just like that isn't it? i want something from hong kong too!! :P and er switzerland (but who's gonna go switzerland?) and i have nothing to give others? except merlion? -.- oh wells. Monday, January 11, 2010 @ 10:31 PM
First day of school okies.. it's the first day of school of sem 4. well here's wad i observed.. - I can stay reasonably alert from 8am-6pm despite having only about 3-4hrs of sleep. - I prefer larger LT than smaller ones. In fact, it's the first time i find myself in a small LT. Rather suffocating. (Literally too cos the air-con was just about to start) - I think that it's really rude for the LT to be talking continuously when there's a lecture going on. - Tutorials really start in week 2. - It feels funny that everything is "restarted". still kinda 怀念 previous sem.. - Can't believe i actually a bit 舍不得 to sell my cn1111 tb today. okies and i din manage to get the tutorial slot i wanted for a module. after rambling on and feeling sian over everything + finding fault with everything that i see, i finally calmed down.. Not that I'm really okay with not getting the slot, just that I see that it's impossible for things to happen ideally all the time. No point blowing up the whole issue as though it's the end of the world. More worthwhile and meaningful to think of a second-best option if the initial plan fails. No point picking out every single small irritations along the way to grumble about too since it doesn't help the situation, makes me feel worse and who cares anyway? Grumbling is the formula to exacerbate the already bad enough feeling and spread the gloominess to others. Okies, time to stop talking things that don't help the situation and work on a proper solution. :D Labels: school Saturday, January 09, 2010 @ 10:16 PM
第几个100天 - JJ
@ 9:31 PM
TJ open house went back for TJC open house today! literally had to drag myself out of bed today. not that the timing was super early but i couldn't sleep the previous night. went to bed at ard 2am, tossed till 4+ very consciously and went into very shallow sleep (somewhat aware of surrounding) after that. alarm was supposed to ring at 8am but i regained total consciousness at 7.56am. decided to snooze yet i actually dreamt that "i woke up at 10+ and horribly pang-seh everyone.." it was in this state of horror that i finally woke up in this current reality to realise that it's "only" 8.36am. started on the walk to TJ. first with sj then joined by mic and hc. it was very sunny. bedok point is a very literal name. no link. hahaha. we were later than 10am but there's always people who's later! okies that doesn't really justify anything actually. LOL! we were warmly welcomed by many tjcians at the front gate. it was a very akward situation where everyone's trying so hard to make the event lively but at the wrong audience. we didn't want to reveal our identity too since it'd only serve to realise the potential akwardness. when we (or rather me..) declined to take the goodie bag rather hesistantly, they asked "are you sec 4?" when i replied no, they began discussing amongst themselves "so they are sec what..?" our main aim was to look for teachers actually. we first bumped into our maths tutor accidentally. hmm then i sort of pang-seh the rest to join my class in the search for tutors.. next looked up econs tutor who was preparing for her sample lecture (which we attended)! before that, saw physics tutor who was feeling unwell and could only see us for a while and also our chem tutor aka civics tutor! hmm actually i think i feel most at ease with her even though i still din speak much. anw when i said i wanted to play the synthesis game, i really meant it hahahaha too bad din get the chance to try. and the new deductive game! chem was really fun back then with all the "compilations", deduction, synthesis and er, integrated questions? lol. the rest of the time was spent in econs tutor's room enjoying our drinks bought from the cafe (or rather drinks booth) under TRC. we b*-ed and laughed and i guess we've all grown without being consciously aware of it. this was followed by second round of chatting with maths tutor. hmmm i was rather surprised that she still remembered that "im in materials science" despite the fact that i only vaguely recall myself mentioning it casually once (and despite the fact that my final decision was "chem engin" which i din update her on) lastly we saw our GP tutor. haha i think my face writes "im from chemistry" cos the first thing she said to me was "i know! you're in chem!" hmm the jellybean was rather interesting, especially the matrix-style one containing red and blue "pills" haha. she mentioned 2 films that actually interested me, but i couldn't catch the titles despite her mentioning twice. lol. and yes seems like we're gonna have another musuem gathering. well feels weird to refer to the teachers as (subject) tutor but i don really like to mention names too so.. anw that marks the end of our TJ visit. hmm i'd love to return to TMS one day too but i wonder when.. later had lunch @ hawker center oppo TJ. those "good" old days where i can't decide on wad to eat and just get niang tofu. some of us headed down to Orchard supposedly to see our salesman @ LV which turned out to be a "disappointing" trip since he's just a stocksman lol! since we're at orchard, we just lingered on for a while, spending the bulk of the time at HMV. eventually our number was reduced to just 3 and we decided to have dinner @ Lerk Thai. It was surprisingly good! Twice the price as compared to NUS, but disproportionately better quality! :D just don't get the mango dessert next time.. haha and i left them after dinner since the way home was just in front of me. and hence the number shrunk further to 2. hahaha. okies last official day out before school re-open. tomorrow's another meeting though haha. Friday, January 08, 2010 @ 11:03 PM
Another k session! went to chai chee cc again to k! this time with sj and hc. haha i think the feeling is always different with different group of people but the thing that remains is that their eardrums will always hurt when im around wahaha. once again, 5hrs' never enough. though we did clear almost all the songs on the list, but it was with frequent ejecting of songs even before they started. lol! [reserved for photos] met up with sh later for dinner. somehow i always end up eating chicken rice. this time it was an unpleasant experience cos the tray/table smelt bad. okies we sat around until 10+ to crap. until the sushi shop was closed for the day (shhh). there was this recurring theme of how we'd take turns to build up suspense, only to reveal something that's less-than-shocking. (and of cos me and the autopsy topic) hahaha. headed down to FAIRPRICE (not NTUC) to buy biscuit and i think that those working on night shift seemed mentally drained. which leads me to the point that.. having insomnia leaves me mentally distorted. haix. Thursday, January 07, 2010 @ 6:02 PM
Looking back at the holiday Schools gonna start soon (4 days' time...). looking back at this holiday.. I've.. watched movies including... - 100 Promises to My Dog: Simple and touching; the very emotions we've forgotten.. - Angel and Demon: so-so IMO and to me, the final twist spoilt the show. - Cube: psychotic. - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: When you try hard to forget something, you are trying even harder to retain that memory. - Identity: Full of twists which overwhelms you in an un-enjoyable way. - Mindhunter: The answer's not out till the very end. - Mother: Life's ironical. - Shinjiku Incident: Power corrupts. - Surrogates: To age or to have flaws can be a beautiful thing, especially when others accept you in spite of these factors. - Watchmen: such a long show but enjoyed the flaws of the superheroes. Rorschach! watched drama serials/anime.. - 绝代商交 (halfway): funny but uncaptivating. - EVA series (NGE, EOE, Eva 1.0): False sense of happiness vs true feeling of pain and agony. - IRIS: The endless cycle of conspiracies. - Liar Game Season 2: Still mind-stimulating but season 1's better. - Mr Brain: HAHAHAHAHA - The Serial Experiment Lain: Close the world, open the next. Present day, present time, hahahahha. - The Quiz Show 2: To be punished for your crimes isn't all that bad, especially if you learn to face yourself as a result. - Time of Eve: Took me ~2yrs to complete the series of 6 episode. Reason being it's released once every 3 months. Ep 4: Nameless was unforgettable. - Yasha: imo draggy. started to self-learn basic japanese (only hiragana) はじめまして こんにちは おはよう こんばんは わたし あなた わかりません わかれました やった いただきます いちにさん さよなら どういたしまして なに がんばって おめでと Ok truth is, i've forgotten many of the phrase that I've learnt. And i haven't started learning sentence structure, so there's only words. about learning cantonese ok i surfed a website with canto lessons for 5 seconds and decided to do something else instead. Tried listening to HK drama and i still couldn't understand anything :S oh wells try again next time! borrowed and read books... - The Judas Strain (thx for lending): Rather like Dan Brown's novel with a touch of biology. - Rock, Paper, Scissors: game theory in everyday life - Dilemmas and how we're trapped in second-best decisions. - Struck by lightning: the curious world of probability - yes there is a reason why casinos are always in a win-win situation. - What would Socrates say?: he'd say, "tat wasn't wad i said?!" - Why the toast always lands butter side down: it doesn't, it's just how we perceive and interpret information under the influence of others. - How to dunk a doughnut: Just throw it in?! -10 questions science can't answer (yet): then, is it better to leave them unanswered? - The undercover scientist: quite an unfortunate scientist to have so many unfortunate things happening in a single day. haha. - Quirkology - What is your dangerous idea?: you won't want to know? - Elephants on acid: The classic 2 experiments - Milgram experiment and the stanford prison experiment. -13 things that don't make sense: ya indeed they don't make sense to me and i didn't finish the book. - The 60-second philosopher: Hey they stole my ideas even before i could think of it! - Freakonomics - Crimes against logic - On being certain about reading news... well i did make an effort to surf related websites but.. it's only for like <5 days? okies really gotta cultivate this habit. on random stuff.. okies i did buy new clothes and new slippers. but i haven't gotten canvas shoes for my lab! and a new bag! the current one's breaking apart soon. and i still haven't eaten xxl chicken =X regarding academic stuff.. no decisions made after all, despite thinking that I came so close to making a decision. on a side note, I've given myself a problematic experience with CORS despite the fact that it should be a worry-free activity this time round. it's just so me.. had quite a bit of outings.. met up with real old sec sch frens (hahaha ok how do we interpret the above phrase?), sec sch frens, jc classmates, individual meetups with some of my frens within the abovementioned groups. be it shopping, eating, talking, countdowns, buffets, getting near nature O.o, k-ing, etc - it's been a fun experience :D alrights i think that's all. apart from these, i'm just rotting away from boredom. mixed feelings about school reopening and i've just killed a mosquito. Monday, January 04, 2010 @ 9:00 PM
weird dreams had a weird dream/nightmare last nite. somehow i guess it was the first week of school and i was attending the tutorial of a certain module. suddenly the tutor said, "ok, remember to come for lab tomolo. it's on ah.. (*note: it's only the first week..)". Students: "HUH?! (all blur)". Tutor: "Ya even though you all haven't learnt anything." Random student (waves hand and tb): "You can get the info from textbook!". Tutor: "Yes he is right, read your textbook. See you all tomolo." O.o such a random dream.. Must have been too bothered by bidding which ends today and the rumours that lab starts from Week 1. lol.. Anw, bidded for all the modules i wanted. after thinking it thru for many days, i finally sent in a request to overload this sem. got approval within an hour or so. really grateful that they're always there for us and giving such prompt reply. i thought i had to wait a few days. hope that i can get the lab slot i want.. meanwhile i've gotten myself one more week to decide. even though i have a feeling that no decision will be made by then and i'll carry on with the default choice. on a random note, my mum was telling me “他又讨屋子了”and my reply was "huh? 为什么他又跑路？”-.- Sunday, January 03, 2010 @ 11:29 PM
Why am i thinking again? It's only the 3rd day of the 2010 and im alr seeing my old self of 2009 haunting me - in particular, the indecisive side of me. I dunno why but i seem to run into dilemmas for many things that I do, and im not about to attribute blame to all those circumstances because I'm aware that these are mere false dilemmas that I've generated for myself. The thing is, I'm consciously drawing circles, following the track i've drawn and in the process drawing more circles, without knowing where the end is even though the simple way is just to step out of the circle. Anw, all the talks about me being more inclined towards taking econs minor has taken a full-fledged momentum change such that im thrown back into thinking i shld just stick with my degree. I think I'm good at sighting an end and trying to argue my way through from the start point to the end point and convincing myself that that's the route to take. The thing is, I'm equally good at convincing myself of all possible outcomes, depending on my mood at the moment, without knowing the end that i truly desire. okies it's just a small matter, nothing terribly serious, just make up my mind! think think think! wad do i want? on a random note, what was said back then is really true - many things that seemed like the world to us back then can mean nothing after all. since im on the topic of academics.. In sec sch, we were told how the transition from lower sec to upper sec is gonna be a radical one and it did felt like a big leap back then. We fought for the "Os" to get into our desired JC/poly. Once we were in it, the L1R5 became meaningless, except for being a figure on the cert. In JC, we were told how psychotic our combi was and how we were constantly dissuaded from continuing because it was just crazy. While we were at it, perhaps whatever was said did stress us further, but when i looked back, it was nothing much after all. Later on, we find ourselves applying to uni / scholarships and being stressed over what major to take. There's so much info provided about scholarship providers/further education by companies eg. brightsparks and our emails were bombarded every now and then. But as i looked back, all the hu-ha didn't seem all that necessary. Whether we were in the right/wrong course, with/without scholarship, we have already made it here thus far. Extrapolating.. Now we're concerned about modules, extra programmes, CAP, grades etc, but once we step into the workforce in the future, i have a feeling that all the big hu-ha about everything is gonna appear to a joke once again for us to laugh at how we were once highly bothered about such things in the first place. i think i roughly have an answer.. the limit's never reached until you've tried, but to go beyond that is an overestimation. Saturday, January 02, 2010 @ 6:41 PM
两极端 在2009尾，我找到两首印象深刻的歌 - Just one last dance 和 偶尔。 一个常听到，只要开收音机每天都能听见至少一次。 另一个能说永远都不会偶然听见，只有刻意播放才能听见。 究竟是到处有迹可寻还是无处可寻较恐怖？ 当我们说看开或已释怀时， 究竟是绝口不提才是不把事情放在心上， 还是能坦然地说出才是真的不在意了？ 两个极端，难道有着同一样的诠释？ Labels: thoughts @ 3:52 PM
The Quiz Show 2 Done with "The Quiz Show 2". I wonder why it's much more difficult to find "The Quiz Show" video vs season 2. It's quite an okay show and highlights the concept of "若要人不知，除非己莫为”Maybe we should all live our life assuming that we'll appear in "The Quiz Show" one fine day. haha jkjk. I thought MC. Kamiyama did a good job as an emcee.  I think he looks a bit like the Kindaichi guy called 堂本刚 or something lidat.. anw i think the show reminds me of some sad concepts of self-denial, escapism and regrets. When faced with ugly truths, especially about our own self, there's this desire to bury it deep down in our hearts/memories, hoping that they'd never be uncovered. When this desire gets too overwhelming, we end up isolating this ugly "self" from ourselves, even to the extent of treating it as a separate being. In this case, Honma collated his guilt altogether and displaced all sins onto Kamiyama (who unfortunately lost his memory). At the end of the day, it was a triple blow - one for the original crime committed, second for the rediscovery of the memory of the crime committed, third for the truth of misunderstanding rendering the whole crime wrongful in the first place. Sometimes when we harden ourselves and distance from others, it's not the others that suffer most but the self that's slowly eroding away. I think that others are all mirror for ourselves. So when we run away from them, who exactly are we running from actually? 人的丑陋不来自七嘴宗 - 贪食、色欲、贪婪、伤悲、暴怒、懒惰、自负及傲慢，而是无法面对自己拥有这些缺点的事实。有了害怕面对，就会有拼命掩盖，反而是欲盖弥彰。或许能瞒天过海欺骗所有的人，但谎言只会让自己更被真相折磨，因为谎言象征着真相的存在。 Anw the power of suggestion is unfathomable too. In the show, it's seen how false memories can be implanted through skewed guidance. From real-life experiments, it was also concluded that memories may be formed as an aftermath of an event rather than as a result of its occurrence. There's also this subconscious desire to perceive what we want to see and believe what we want to know. On a random note, i've heard/seen many ppl condemning human actions after watching Avatar. Some found themselves ashamed to belong to the human race. Hmm.. it's easy to see the ugly side of human when contrasted against the peace/nature-loving Na'vi race, but i think it's too sweeping to isolate ourselves from the side of "human" and view "human" from an external third party point of view. Are we truly that noble? Just because we're not the ones out there "stealing resources" doesn't make us guilt-free of enjoying the use of these resources directly or indirectly later on. Everyone wants more, but noone is willing to do the ugly job; for those who do, the rest are quick to displace all sense of guilt or sins onto them and then enjoy the residual benefits after all. Waiting for latest episode of Liar Game 2! I thought season 1 was better though. Friday, January 01, 2010 @ 9:20 PM
FW update? if it ain't broken, don't fix it. indeed why was i random enough to do a firmware update for my phone? did do a backup, but somehow the new fw doesn't allow me to access phone mode and thus i cant retrieve my backups. lol nvm lor.. at least i can sms, listen to music and take photo (there wasn't improvement to night mode :( ) okies nvm.. @ 12:45 AM
Looking forward to 2010 based on what i see in 2009, here's what i think i'll see for 2010. school-wise, i hope i can finally decide on whether i'll continue with my econs degree -.- as many people have told me, it's almost 2 years and i haven't decided. actually to continue is just a need, not a want. as of now, i feel that engineering is a path i'd enjoy taking. With this, my initial "motive" of taking econs as a backup degree has vanished. why im still in this programme is that.. i'm already in it and i feel "lazy" exiting it. plus i don't like to give up. but then again, it can be something positive too since it's more of knowing what i want isn't it? and there's other stuff that im seriously considering, but i dunno if i'll see it through after all.. cca-wise, i want to join a cca! missed the opportunity to join the comm for charity fiesta :( oh wells, maybe i'll join as faciliator then. really hope to experience a life filled with more activities, but i dowan to see cca as a need/burden. i really want to join a cca purely for interest. :D hope to keep in contact with my friends too! more meetups! on a personal level... hope to be more decisive in whatever i do. tt's a major thing lacking in me tt's bringing about so many dilemmas. learn to be more independent too - even though i appreciate time alone, i'm afraid of being left alone too. hopefully im able to embrace the concept of alone-ness. complain less! i realise i'm a perfectionist and i have low level of tolerance for even slight deviation from my ideal situation. really, life's not perfect and i have to learn how to accept the imperfectness. of cos i'll still continue to fight hard for what i want, but should things fall out of expectations, it's time to acknowledge it and continue moving on with life. once again, i repeat my wish for the gone 2009 - not to 钻牛角尖。 new year resolutions? hmm not in the habit of thinking about these though.. I'll just have continuous self-reflection without a clear precise goal in sight then! haha.. あけましておめでとう2010! Labels: Reflection |
The mask that supposedly everyone is wearing now from ps and vin. i was lazy to find a better background though so there u have it - biochem tb -.-