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Tuesday, July 31, 2007 @ 6:32 PM
Guo Hao Out Hmmmx.. Guo Hao out le! should i say yes!!.. hmmx. actually he quite ke lian also la.. and he also very courageous ba.. plus he did put in the effort.. though seeing him still makes me feel irritated. but when you see someone seemingly jovial just standing on stage and stun there as the judges throw him with negative comments just tugs at your heart. if i'm his fan, i'd def not vote for him. no use putting him in the contest for the sake of being in, when you konw that he's not the candidate that'd win in the first place. 长痛不如短痛。 he understood this too. and that was why he called his friends and families not to vote for him after the contest. actually it wasn't really his fault that he got in in the past ba. cause it was others who voted for him? but having said all these, i stil gotta admit i rejoice at his departure. as a person he must be someone very interesting and maybe nice. but as a singing contestant, i will definitely cross him out. yupz. @ 5:40 PM
andy lau lala. just saw andy lau on tv just now. ok i was innocently listening to songs, watching mv, reading lyrics on my com, when i heard the song 一 coming from the living room. so just go out and see lorx, even though i'm not really a andy lau fan.. haha. he dress until so fashionable la. and he's really very very young looking for his age. i mean all these while i saw him in suits etc cause he always appear in formal and major events. but this time in yu le bai fen bai, he kinda dressed down and looked really young! if i didn't know who he is, i'd think he's around just 30 at max. =X anw, i stil like his slow sentimental songs. he did try new style of songs, but i can't accept it till now. maybe i will after listening to them many times around. lolx. @ 5:02 PM
Flu Fly Away! ah.. i think i'm falling sick.. (think) at least for this moment.. my eyes became so red, my nose too. and my whole face seemed so ill.. actually my "flu" started from saturday. but i've always avoided the word flu, cause i always had sensitive nose. and i always sneeze at home. i can use up half a box of tissue in one afternoon. and that's considered when the situation is not so bad. fortunately, when i go to school, i'm well and fine. hardly any trace of illness. aka, i dun need to drag along ten over packets of tissue when i go to school. -_-" Anw, the symptoms carried on till sunday. and i tot it was pretty normal. only thing that panicked me was that i tot mon was 2.4km test. turned out not to be the case. phew. but then again, i think i am in an ok status to run. but today.. things got worse. hmm, or should i say after reaching home, which is now? the weather is no longer that cold and this irritates me. my flu always worsen when the weather is hot. =X oh, and i couldn't sleep for 1 hour plus on sunday because i can't breathe thru my nose. my nose problem is apparently back ( though it has always been there. =X ) my nose feels so rotten now. as in, blow until the entire thing literally is rotting. it's red. and i can't breathe. breathing thru the mouth now, and another doc identified this as the reason for my throat infection and problem etc. =X but then again, i either breathe and survive, or die not breathing but not get the throat infection. -_-" still, it's much more better than the first day of school. that was real bad manz. the nose just hurts alot upon contact. and it's really pain. flu flu go away, come again another day, little children want to play.. Monday, July 30, 2007 @ 6:44 PM
puzzle bomber oh! after searchign high and low for so long for puzzle bomber!! ( do you call that? ) anw... after searching so long for it, i finally found a similar game.. =) if only i didn't lose the original pS game in the first place! =X enjoying it now~ =) @ 6:43 PM
oudeyang's song so nice@! oh!!! i just have to say it again!!! ou de yang's song so so nice!!! 手心手背！！！！101封情书！！！第二次感冒！！！ and many more!! so nice!! @ 6:28 PM
试听-ing ocean's new album 试听-ing ocean's new album.. ah.. so nice.. ever so ocean.. ever so him.. he's just unique.. his music is so unpolluted by the commercialisation of the music industry. his singing just brings you back to the origin of music. and also the simplest feeling of happiness.. yeah.. @ 6:05 PM
CSS analysis hmmm.. just went around searching for gossips on CSS tonight.. Here's the song list.. and i watched the video preview of their performance.. 1) ZiJie - 林宇中：主题曲 This is one of my fav rynn song. and i'm glad zijie is going back to his ballad songs. =) I heard that he wanna sing milubing's lei so badly, but guess he couldn't pull of an act of that song. looks like he chooses song that i like, eg. The Way. from the video, i think he sang the song quite well. =) anticipating his performance. 2) Benjamin - Junyang: Guardian Angel Another of my favourite song. but i didn't think he sang very well in the video clip. though i tihnk the song will suit his voice just right. but then again, i dun really like benjamin.. although even zhiyang said that he admired benjamin. =X 3) Guohao- JJ: 大男人，小女孩 my first impression! ah?!? wat is this?!?! he trying to sing this song?!?! so difficult. and the thing is, he can't sing in the first place. he should go for some entertaining songs. =X and the thing is, i just commented that this song is nice in the morning. and i have this feeling that he'd ruin it for me. =X but after watching the video, i think it wasn't that bad after all. as in not as bad as what i tot, which is really like rock bottom bad. so yeah. i wasn't disgusted. neither was i impressed. 4) Shawn - Ocean: 满天星 alright, i must admit to my guilt. the moment i saw the song title, i was like, what ulu song is this? nv hear before.. but when i opened his video clip... he tried to sing the song in a rock and fast way. so i was like ?? what is it.. but nv would i fail to recognise that familiar touch to songs, when he finally sang it in the normal style. it's Ou de yang's song!! i will nv be wrong with this.. if shawn can do well for this round, i got this feeling that i'd change from unimpressed with him to his supporter.. 5) Marcus- 五月天：知足 Hmmmx. ok the song quite ok. though i quite ni of it already. the video not very exciting. it's the usual marcus with his safe performance. he should be able to make it to the next round. i think benjamin quite unsafe this round. cause shawn, guohao and zijie got alot of supporters. and marcus has always been like out of all situations, so relatively safe.. @ 5:50 PM
happiness which of these is the worst? 1) Not having anything to feel happy about? 2) Trying to convince yourself that you're happy even though it's just a lie that you're forcing yourself to believe in? or.. 3) Having many happy things around you, or you are just unable to smile from within your heart? happiness - something that can be most easily obtained, and also something that is ever so difficult to attain @ 5:47 PM
mum in good mood heh heh.. i think my mum is in a good mood today. hmm, or at least for that moment.. just came out from bath. and was about to drink my milo. but when i was sitting down and attempting to cross my leg, somehow, my leg hit my hand. and the milo kinda spilled ( it was rather full ). due to my quick thinking ( heh ), immediately, i acted fast and prevented further spills. and i exclaimed! so my mum came. she didn't seem angry at all! haha. and when she found out i didn't spill onto the sofa i was sitting on, the situation got better. and she told me to change out of my clothes without scolding me! =) i expected an angry face with some nagging for some time. haha. Sunday, July 29, 2007 @ 5:52 PM
MDWAV 2.5 i still can't access the 4.2 and 4.3 episode of MDWAV 2.5.. so i just skipped right to 4.4, which is the last episode of the series.. ah.. so nice.. =) the music always matches the atmosphere so flawlessly.. @ 5:33 PM
I believe you the longest wait is not created by the amount of time passed, but by your mind.. just read the online book "I believe You".. Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIDRtEOLWiU story: http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm initially i only clicked in for fun.. but after watching the trailer, i went on to read the story.. i dunno the ending because the last 3 chapters have to be bought.. but i can guess that it'd be a sad ending, one filled with regrets of having not treasured the current moment, but instead immersed in the poignancy of the past. Joanne was a girl who believed that she was cursed. From the moment she said "i hope you get knocked down by a car" to her mum and she died, she was convinced that she was cursed. She gradually isolated herself from the world, from her friends, even from her grandma who was living with her. all except for her only friend left, Lancy. she was the only one who would listen to her sorrow and be there with her.. that is until Jacky Wu came into the picture. He was extremely nice to her and his motive was simple. "to see you smile while i still can.." he tried to guide her in walking her out of the "curse" that she trapped herself in. He talked her through matters, showered her with concern and finally, introduced her to a pyschiatrist. And he was the same guy who dashed her only support -- her imaginary friend Landy. Even though joanne gradually fell in love with jacky, she was resistance to his advances. still, jacky continued to be nice to her.. until finally when joanne decided to be true to her feelings and confessed to jacky, he collapsed. it turned out that he's suffering from brain cancer, with only 2 years to survive, and 15% success rate if he underwent operations. and his words rang back at joanne, "i want to see you smile while i still can" only then did she understood what he meant. despite jacky's sickness, he still braced himself to brighten up joanne's day. and he wanted joanne to curse him that he'd die so that she can walk out of her own shadows.. she finally did it after jacky's refusal to undergo the operation.. she regretted badly.. and as she saw jacky being slowly wheeled into the operation room.. the true sorrow in life might not truly exist; but is instead the make-believe sorrow that you compel youself to believe that you're drowned in.. Saturday, July 28, 2007 @ 6:23 PM
Panda's death With Panda's death comes another great height to the show.. I think this was the only plot thus far that truly impacted me.. Previously, lu yao guo's death merely brought me anticipation of the show. Yin Yin's death was no surprise to me cause i accidentally read that part of the spoiler.. but zheng fen duo miao thus far only brought me the feeling of sophistication. of exasperation of how people plot against each other. yet at the same time, giving me this thrill ( not in the exciting sense ) of feeling betrayed, being cornered, being driven to a corner where either you make it or break it.. yet.. panda.. in order to honour his words to yongqi, to live up to his responsibility as a man and as a boss, and to protect his friend, he actually said that he was willing to exchange his life for the safety of ah dong.. such sacrifices were often seen in the show.. but what touched me was that panda wanted to do this just to save ah dong. he didn't have hidden agenda like the rest, who were busy plotting against the whole world kinda thing. it's that kind of innocent and simple feeling that panda brought across which touched me alot.. True friendship, true bonds, true ties.. how often can we find this in the show, and in the real life? and even till the very last moment, he wanted to fulfil his promise to yong qi. he brough ah dong back to her. he minded his own business, and sat at a rocking chair.. and died silently there.. so alone.. even though there were 3 ppl near him at that moment, i stil feel his "alone-ness".. their minds were filled with their own problems etc, and somehow he just slipped into death.. the truest of feeling.. is not necessarily done without hesitation, without thinking.. but the most important thing is that it must come truely from the bottom of the heart.. not becuase you have to do it, you need to do it, you want to do it.. but just because you're doing it.. the worst of man is not one who is labelled evil, but one who has a rotten content.. @ 6:16 PM
NDP 2007 actually, after listening to this yr's national day songs many times.. i realised it's not really that bad.. maybe it's those kinda song that dun get into your head immediately, but soon, you'll grow to like it. =) initially when i heard there's no place i'd rather be, i was rather appalled. not only it did not have the atmosphere, the focus seems to be on all the places of interests in many places, but nv did i once see Singapore in the song.. but slowly.. i accepted the song.. maybe it doesn't apply for me.. but in this globalised world ( blah blah.. haha ), maybe we as a united body of Singaporean will be dispersed worldwide.. maybe we might be enjoying our lives elsewhere.. yet maybe at the same time, there'd be this empty feelin in them that they're not in a true place they'd call home.. Will you is quite ok.. =) haha.. 5 yrs since NDP 2002.. time flies.. but NDP was never the same from the moment i myself participated in it.. oh and 933 has this chinese version of there's no place like home. it's a comedy version. and i think i'm so fated with it. during the shou bo, i heard it. after hearing it, i went to nap. when i woke up from nap, the first song i heard was this song again. at night when i wanna go and sleep, the first song that i heard once again was this song. =X haha.. anw, the lyrics very comedy.. very singapore.. but it's either you like it or you kanna offended. @ 6:13 PM
not updating blog often realised that i haven been updating my blog as often as before.. haha.. must be becos of maple ( woops.. so human.. blame the sky, blame the ground, blame everything except for myself.. haha.. ) ok la, it was me who cannot resist the temptation to click on this innocent-looking icon on my desktop called maplestory.. ok anw, the point is, i had alot of things to blog. until i on my com and realised i'm having mental block. otherwise i'm just hallucinating that i had something to blog. =X just a random note, i finally reached lvl 30 le! fire/poison wizard, i'm on my way! =) Wednesday, July 25, 2007 @ 5:11 PM
hou wen hua Ok, Eps 24 made me rather irritated with Hou Wen Hua. in fact he become my "hero" in the show to just a small little coward.. all along i tot that he was willing to make sacrifices blah blah because he knew the rules of the game too well. that somehow, his spirit is isolated from his actions. that what he did wasn't controlled by his soul, the inner voice in him. that he is an unfathomable person with great poise surrounding him. no matter how evil he might seem to be, it's just due to the preset definition of what people had of good and bad; that he was just seeing things from another perspective. but yest's eps made me feel like i was totally wrong. he's just a coward who act big and cool just because he's in power. still, nothing wrong with this point. if you're in power, all fine and well. it's just human nature to rule when you're in power. but the thing is, he's such a big liar and is always searching for excuses for his wrong-doings. when he first killed Lu YaoGuo with mixed feeling of "i have to kill him" and "he was my best friend", i tot it was because of his great understanding of how the world works. but when he killed WenYing with his own hands, i realised i was wrong. he claims he was sad that wenying died. yet he stil chose to pull the trigger. furthermore, he wanted ah dong to take the rap for him. just like a total coward runnign away from his rightful punishment. another case that ran parallel to this incident. ok what's his name? the one acted by zheng jia ying. anw, he made maggie take the rap for him too when he "worked" for Hou Wen Hua. so ok, maybe wenhua isn't really escaping in this sense. maybe he knew he had something big to do and he can't afford for anything else to happen. but he actually wanted to test out Sam. and kill him if he were the undercover cop. yet on the other hand, though he proclaim that he respect zheng kun the most, he wasn't entirely truthful to zheng kun -_-" instead he told zheng kun that he'd take care of sam. that's like a double faced person. you either dun say anything to him at all, or be truthful about him. that'd be a true person with strong personality. what for say one thing at one end, and another thing at another end? that's kinda disgusting. anw, what's going to happen at the end of the show? no idea thus far. maybe hou wen hua aiming to be the police commissioner? mayeb there'd be twist and turns that'd change my opinion of him somehow? @ 5:07 PM
dream/nightmare had a dream/nightmare yest night.. but can't really recall what went on.. think some of my friends and classmates kanna kidnapped.. apparently we were on this quest for dunno what. when we met this group of dunno who. and they kidnap us for dunno why. lolx such a random dream. anw, towards the end of the dream, a song was playing. and when i woke up like around 3.11am, my radio was still on and that song was indeed playing.. hmm. maybe it's just a signal for me to wake up and off my radio and not waste electricity. ( save the world, save the environment, but most importantly save my pocket? lolx. just a random joke to show my ES capabilities. -_-" ) @ 5:03 PM
nothing to blog? hmmx.. suddenly i have nothing to say when i log into blogger.. =X seems like i'm running low on the zeal to blog.. even though i have the urge to blog when i think of something ______(??). but when i on my com and log in, it seems like nothing is in my head. =X Saturday, July 21, 2007 @ 6:44 PM
jump quest so retarded Hmmmx.. have this sudden feeling that jump quest in maple is retarded.. hmm.. actually the feeling not that intense le. but just now when i was doing that quest, i almost wanted to just slam the computer or something.. haha.. so irritating.. stuck at the same patch of the map just becuase your can't jump.. =X and my keyboard is bad at doing one combo: << and jump. it will just move << w/o jumping.. =X by chance, it might listen to my combi. =X and the electric line equipment there is quite helpful yet inrritating at times. at certain parts, i just need to stand and wait for it to bring me to many other platforms. the only thing i need to sacrifice is 1 hp. which is negligible.. and i felt like a fool just now =X was trying so hard to magic claw the small little worm there. expelled half of my MP. and stil a miss. when i finally dropped down and dao it, i realise it does miss damage to me too. =X aka it was there not to be killed!! and i wasted 1/2 hr just like that! i can train for 30% in that time frame la!! brr.. haha @ 6:40 PM
Ocean new album out on 23/07/07 23/07/07 VERY IMPORTANT date!!! Mark it on the calendar now!! because... OCEAN'S NEW ALBUM IS FINALLY OUT!! lolx.. =) and it's just MOnday!! wee~~ Thursday, July 19, 2007 @ 6:02 PM
What is what? Did things really changed? Or did nothing change at all? Did it all not mattered? Or was it just the greatest lie of it all? Choices are never fun, decision are never enjoyable, esp when you have a fickled-mind or you think too much of the consequences. i'm reminded of 4 months from now, 2 years ago.. you think you are ready to let go of the nothingness that was strongly held onto; but you are not.. you think you want to try to accept the changes to come along; but it turns out to be just a delusion. or is this the real delusion? Which is worse? to regret having made a choice, or to regret not having made the choice? screaming out loud.. do you feel the drift that's overwhelming us? do you see the gap that's slowly forming? Ties can form. But can they break? hmmx.. i better stop before a rojak post becomes even more random than ever.. Wednesday, July 18, 2007 @ 8:31 PM
Sam's classical line 你以为你懂 其实你什么都不懂 你以为你明白了 其实你什么都不明白 Esp liked this particular Sam's line from Split seconds. but somehow the show becomes a bit draggy along the way.. the struggle between good and bad becomes the norm in the show and this sellling point loses its speciality. honestly, i think the show should be limited to just 20 days, not 30days. maybe the plot wil be more concise and the rhythm of the show will be faster and the sense of thrill can be more easily sustained. the mole in the police force seems to be one of the greatest mystery in the show. but having been kept in the dark for like almost 20 episodes makes me lose interest in knowing who the person is. and it's quite evident what hou wen hua wanted the world to become 30days from then. unless new excitment are injected eg. eps 5, when Lu YaoGuo was shot dead, the show will remain stagnant.. @ 8:29 PM
牧笛 accidentally listened to 牧笛。。 心头上涌出了一种慕名的感觉。。 somehow i think the radio version with andy lau talking had this special feel to it.. wonder what's wrong with me recently.. just keep getting attracted to songs that i think i wouldn't like before.. Monday, July 16, 2007 @ 6:57 PM
Clockwork Orange Watched "Clockwork Orange" during GP lesson today.  Hmmmx. although our teacher repeatedly warned us of the "dark" side that might reside in the film, i found it rather ok. not particularly disturbing for me. At least it pales in comparison to "Lain", which was and still is really mentally disturbing for me. lolx. in fact the comment that i made for the show was that it seems like a comedy to me. True, the violence and powerful impact of conditioning are no laughing matters. but at the end of the day, i ended up just laughing everything away. the book was much more darker and more disturbing, although i didn't understand some parts. esp when it's written in a newly-invented language. but anw, if i had to take this film seriously, i think i'd be truly mentally disturbed and disorientated for many days to come. like the previous film we watched, "The experiment". so by choice, i'd rather just take it lightly, knowing that there's some dark notion to it, but choosing to consciously avert these topics. lolx. in summary the show is a hooligan Alex, who is from a good family with education and has good brains. he earns his own keep, which is by mugging others in the evening. he and his droogs ( gang ppl ) gets into lots of violence, fighting, rape and killing ( twice ). when his droogs turned their back on him, Alex finds himself in trouble with the milicents ( police ) and was sentenced to 14 yrs of jail ( for murder -_-" ) he found life in jail a torture and hence opted for the Luodovico experiment, which shortens his jail term and ensures one does not return to jail anymore. however, it's just a torturous process of conditioning, where Alex is forced to watch films of violence whlist responding to the chemicals injected into him = feeling sick. by the end of 2 weeks, he became a "good" person who would feel really sick thinking of any violent acts. Later on, the Minister for the Interior decided to cure Alex of his "Cure" after his suicidal attempt ( which "won" the government alot of disapproval ). of course there were some details which i left out cause it's supp to be a summary. and i think the conditioning part and the notion of free will is the main thing of the entire story. If you are a good person because you have to be a good person, and not because it is by choice, are you really a good person? or how good are you really? at the end of the day, the violence etc were not very explicit. the part that i think would be the most disturbing (if i allow myself to think about the issue) would be the part on conditioning. but since it will disturb me, i shall think no further. lolx. until i feel like thinking one day of course.. haha.. p.s. i still dun get the ending after reading the book and watching the movie. sobx! Saturday, July 14, 2007 @ 11:42 PM
神雕侠女 神雕侠女ended le.. Hmmmx.. all i can say.. it's kinda funny how xiao long nu is often 1) missing 2) injured. otherwise, it's always yang guo trying to find xiao long nu. lolx but the last episode was nice. the final battle was majestic. and exciting too. what caught my attention was Advisor JinLun.. he's supp to be the bad guy. he was the one who kidnapped guo xiang. he was the one who harmed so many ppl. yet he's also the one who lost his 1st disciple, betrayed by 3rd disciple and left alone by the 2nd disciple. he was also the one who lost his life trying to save guo xiang. sometimes the fine dividing line between black and white blurs even more.. making good and bad lose their meaning.. maybe at times, we shouldn't just look at the incident itself. neither should we look at the person's intention. rather, it is the innermost feeling of the person that matters the most. and that feeling is sometimes even unknown to the person himself/herself, what's more to others. maybe the world can nv ever be understood. and that is why evil arose.. oh and to continue the weird trend i have. i'm kinda addicted to their songs. even though i dun find it that nice, and it's not my style either. lolx. Friday, July 13, 2007 @ 8:34 PM
郑秀文- 她们说 MV 悲伤的记忆 不一定会让人觉得痛苦 快乐的回忆 也不一定就会让人觉得痛苦 @ 5:57 PM
ying yue ge dou chang Haix.. Music in the air aka ying yue ge dou chang ended le.. sigh.. quite a nice entertaining show. esp when there's element of fun, gossip and live singing in it.. i think the guest this week was the best thus far. they're not the most famous, not the most popular, but they're the most meaningful one thus far.. Dreamz Fm!! imagine.. having been disbanded for like 4 yrs.. and you're now back on stage to perform with the rest of your band members.. at the same time, knowing at the bottom of your heart that it might be the last time they're performing together as a band together.. the only disappointing part was their choice of song. though they sang their classic, bu zhi de, the rest of their choice of songs were mainly light-hearted songs. but sitll, i think they did well. after all, they realy have the vocals. and Cavin was so emotional.. haix.. it really makes you feel the way people feel esp when a person who seems to be so happy-go-lucky actually reveals his 感性 side.. if i were him, i'd be feeling very touched that yes, we're back again on stage performing for the audience.. at the same time, i'd be sadden by the fact that separation will soon follow.. maybe it can be said that everything has been pre-arranged.. but i choose to believe that it was 真情流露.. 也许一切是假的，但少了点理性，多了点感性的人生， 才是真实地活着。。。 @ 5:55 PM
music spree Ah! on my music spree again!!! recently i have this weird habit of humming songs that i dun really think is nice, but it's just stuck in my head.. first was an lian, now it's kong qiu qian.. but on a lighter note.. now i'm listening to the nice nice Bu Zhi De!!! =) actually i didn't used to think that it's nice in the past when i heard it. but after the live version, i was completely swayed into liking it. Li Qi Yu ( or dunno what his name is ) falsetto is very very nice!! =) Thursday, July 12, 2007 @ 6:37 PM
zheng fen duo miao hou wen hua Zheng Fen Duo miao is really very nice! very thrilling and mind boggling.. even though initially i was not very accustomed to the way the series sort of alienates itself from the viewer ( in the way movie does ), i was soon pretty impressed with the professional way the shots were taken.. i think as expected, the one who really caught my attention is Hou Wen Hua. Yes, the "ultimated" bad guy in the show that everyone is trying to catch, blah blah blah.. but i think he really has characters. and he's very cool in his own ways. there's this sense of aura around him that makes others know that he's the boss. he doesn't really resort to violence ( in the sense that he doesn't take a chopper everywhere and act very beng and hack you if you dun listen ). instead it's just him with his unfathomable mind and thinkings that allows him to control his followers. hmmms. though at the beginning, at eps 5, he did give me the -_-" feeling at one part. he so totally assured Lu Yao Guo that he'd give him a satisfactory ans at 11pm. in the end that wasn't really his intention. behind yaoguo's back, he betrayed him and listened to whatever zheng kun's words. Hmmx. but weird. as i type this, i suddenly realise that i am unable to "criminalise" him with anything. he did give lu yao guo the ans he wanted. and he nv said he wouldn't kill him. hmmx. that's not called lying nor going back on his words? but of course. at the end of the day, the fact is, he shot his best friend with his own gun. they were orphans and the best of friends. imagine the strong ties that bind. yet he can just fire the shot just like that. but then again.. i got this feeling that it's not that he didn't treasure the friendship. neither was he determined to kill yaoguo in the first place. rather, that friendship was deeply buried within him. but at the same time, he understood the rules of the game. he understood it too well, and he really treated yaoguo as his best friend, that's why he did the way he did.. kinda contradictory, but that's life isn't it? Ah Dong is another 引人入胜 character intially. he has this dual identity. is he a police? or is he a gangster? the greatest sacrifice for a undercover cop is the loss of his true self. in name, he has lost his status as a police. yet in his heart, he must constantly affirm this identity silently. in reality, he is a ganster. he does what a gangster does, even to the extent of killing. yet he knows he is a cop. but he can't stop what they're doing, instead he has to join in what they're doing and facilitate the crime. so who is he really? i guess.. as an undercover cop, the fear of death might be threatening. but the greatest mental blow would be this identity crisis. you might not die each day. yet you go thru the process of "split personality" everyday.. but pity the show did not manage to develop well on this identity crisis kinda thing. anw, as ah dong says.. the more i get closer to hou wen hua, the more distant he seems. and the more i think i do not know about him. which makes hou wen hua even more =) hee hee.. it's the same as zheng kun-sam relationship. but zheng kun didn't bring out that killer scent that much. even though he might turn out to be more lethal. Oh! and i liked the part where hou wen hua allowed ah dong to survive despite knowing he is a police. I guess.. he enjoys the challenge. ah dong might be there to spy on him, but he's the one controlling him. that's the thrill of it all. when you think you're the one fishing for info, truth is you're just part of the plot that they want you to discover what they want you to discover. it's always so easy to admire an extreme character in the virtual world. yet it's always so frightening to know that such character exist in reality too. and the fun is killed. @ 6:21 PM
Random stuff online feeling quite bored.. did some random search online. lolx. viewed cao ge's superman ( as "urged" by cripsy prawn. lolx. =) ), some songs lyrics. and mi lu bing's info. and as usual, i come to the media section of the milubing's website and i'm asked to wait for them to load. so long stil haven load finish. =X and when i went their blog, they have alot of song release there, but got alot of weird sounds coming from dunno where and i dunno how to stop. eg. some radio station interview etc. lolx. Oh, as i type, the songs are loaded. okies. lolx. @ 6:19 PM
Can't add title? haix.. so sad.. i can't add titles to my post.. which makes me lose my mood to blog.. but you know what?? for this particular "complaint" post, i actually can add title!! ?? =X but anw, it came in time. cause i'm trying so hard to recover my eyesight. and now that i'm halfway thru my recovery ( i think and hope ), the title field is available again. aka can blog, listen music, watch shows and mv, play games ( hmmmx.. will it spoil my eyes again?? ) Tuesday, July 10, 2007 @ 6:28 PM
Jun Jie eliminated Hmph.. Jun Jie was eliminated from CSS.. sigh.. although i wouldn't really say that with his voice, he is qualified to enter the semifinal round, but there's this somethign about him that makes me wanna see him entering the semifinals. Maybe it's his inferior complex.. maybe entering semifinals would build up his confidence? maybe not entering the semifinals will not defeat him, but he might just resign to fate that he can't make it.. but then again, who wouldn't feel this way? and anw, ignoring everything.. Guo hua is the one that so very the much deserves to get out la!! first, he has no melody in his voice. junjie has a unique voice that might not appeal to all, but still, it's a voice that can sing given more time to sharpen his techniques. second, he likes to make weird acts/facial expression that might be cute to some, but definitely a -_-" to me. third, i dun want to see him in semifinals. lolx. he can become a entertainer or somethign lidat, but definitely not a singer. Anw, i dun think JunJie has chance of coming back. initially i hoped that javin would come back. however, like some ppl predicted, if shawn got out, he'd most likely be the one coming back. ( even though they also said it's impossible for shawn to get out ) haix. but on a happier note, at least when he's eliminated, i have access to his song now. =) lolx. hmmmx. oh wells. oh, and i think the most well-deserving guy who got into the semifinals is Marcus lorx. Monday, July 09, 2007 @ 7:12 PM
CSS2 CSS 2 tonight!!! Go Go JunJie!! =) he's singing Junyang's Nan Dao! =) i hope that i can say bye to guo hua this time.. actuallly initially i tot that Marcus would be quite safe today.. but come to think of it. junjie and guohua both made it thru despite having low scores last time = they have alot of votes = marcus in a rather dangerous position, despite being the person who can sing best amongst all of them. Anw, marcus is singing kong qiu qian today. lolx @ 7:06 PM
sci co report still rushing out sci co report. =X haha. ok la, not really say rush. the deadline is quite far. but since i feel like doing it now, might as well just complete it. but the thing is, my eyes hurt from looking at the com. sigh. i fear my eyesight has deteriorated with each day. sigh. =X @ 7:05 PM
eyesight Haix.. eyesight getting from bad to worse.. it's either i watch too much tv or use too much com or simlpy because i play too much maple. and since i always use alot of com and tv, it must be the 3rd reason causing me all these misery. in fact, my eyes hurt whenever i use the com. including now. sigh. =x Sunday, July 08, 2007 @ 6:35 PM
Live Earth Concert Live Earth concert was kinda boring. haha. i only watched the broadcast of the Shanghai concert and a bit of channel 5's concert here and there.. i think the most successful one was at Japan, where Linkin Park performed. the atmosphere was really high! and i'm so heng.. i switched over during commercial break and they were singing numb! wee.. and when my show ended, they sang In The end. =) aka, i caught all the songs that i like. haha. and the japanese audience seemed to be the most disciplined ones. picked up their rubbish adn catgeorized them etc. The shanghai concert was rather ok. though it rained. adn the audience were pretty far away from the singers. haha. kinda disappointed that eason chan choose his "not so well known" songs. sobx. was kinda looking forward to his performance. fortunately, soler chose one song which i kinda liked listenin to. and rong zu er did well with hui zhe chi bang de nv hai, ai qing fu xing and xiao xiao. =) and for some reasons, huang xiao ming's an lian is just stuck in my head. lolx. though i have heard it before, adn found it not very nice. =X lolx. Saturday, July 07, 2007 @ 5:05 PM
Chapman To Hmmx. didn't know that chapman to got his album.. the slow songs not bad. haha. though i can't understand a single thing. it's in canto you see.. lol he even has dou shi ni ( chinese version sang by guang liang ) @ 3:49 PM
07.07.07 today is 07/07/07.. quite a special day with special number.. and it's LIve Earth: climate in crisis concert day.. Hmm.. personally, i dun see how the concert has save the earth. lolx. if i weren't a environmentalist lover in the first place, i would be watching this concert for the sake of seeing the ppl sing. if i were in the first place, i dun need this concert to remind me to save the earth in the first place. but anw, it's still an effort put in. and i get to enjoy the concert on tv. lolx. =) attempting to savage the problem only after it has occured? @ 3:48 PM
can't add title woes i wonder why can't i add title to my post. must be internet got some prob again. =x Friday, July 06, 2007 @ 6:34 PM
the gang incident woa.. a pretty scary experience whilst walking to school.. after passing my house's bus-stop, tehre was this "gang" of people in black walking in my direction. all of them were wearing black, except for one, who was in white, and he was in front. hmmm. adn they kinda looked vrey intimidating. i supp there was about 10 of them? didn't really go and look and them, in case they think i'm staring at them, adn beat me up. =X anw,whilst walkign past them, i was kinda scared. dunno if i will offend them accidentally or something. but i let them pass ( of course la ) by walking on the grass. then just when i tot everything was over. suddenly one of them turned towards me and said "can give me one dollar please". then i dunno if it's me or not. so i turned slightly and he's really talking to me.. but i just keep walking. then he shouted a few more "please" so i turned back now and then, whilst walking forward. lolx. and the scary thing is that.. cause nowadays i see things quite blur. so when i was about to approach them that time, i tot i saw them holding knives. -_-" yes, me and my imagination. =X haha. just so happen i'm watching zheng fen duo miao now, which often has scenes of men in black moving around in gang. =X lolx anw, now that i think over it. i guess i was just thinking too much. maybe it was just a group of friends having nothing better to do, but to hold a gathering early in the morning, moving around and trying their luck to get money. =X lolx Thursday, July 05, 2007 @ 5:50 PM
finally settled to clear my email i finally settled down to clear my email.. though it has only been like 1 month ++, my emails had already been cluttered with all the emails regarding sci co.. now then do i realise the amount of info dessemination i had and the rest had done in preparation for the june camp and the exco nomination.. in fact, i got tired after a while checkign all the emails and moving them to other folders. lolx. but anws, re-read some of the cute/interesting/fun/meaningful emails. haha. thanks to all those who shared those emails with me! lolx. ( i myself too lazy to fw emails. oops. =X ) hee hee. now that's useful time spent online!! i haven touch maple yet today. =X but i got this feeling i can't resist but to sign in cause i'm just 10% to upping one more lvl. but no, my eyes got to recover. =) i will not play games. haha. even though i'm stil online anw. is there a diff? actually i dunno. haha. but ever since i started playing games, my eyesight really deteriorated. as compared to last time just watching movie and surfing the net. =) Wednesday, July 04, 2007 @ 5:09 PM
not suffering from maple withdrawal symptoms lolx. and i stil played maple today. but i manged to stop myself at 4.35pm. *prides* once 2XP ended, i was able to withdraw myself from the game. *well done* i'm slowly deviating from the path of addiction and walking into the path of healthy entertainment. =) it doesn't hurt to play 1-2 hours per day. but it's bad for my eyes to go on non-stop for 4hrs consecutively. =X and it affects my sleep as well, where i'd just keep thinking about myself killing monster non-stop. lolx. now the key thing is for my eyes to restore normal vision. but the thing is.. even if i dun play maple, i'm either online/in front of the tv. hmmm.. now how much does that help? lolx. but nvm, sure can de. =) Tuesday, July 03, 2007 @ 6:17 PM
sore throat woes sigh.. whole family tio sore throat and cough.. haha.. started off with my mum.. for quite a long time le.. and it's quite yan zhong, judging from the way she cough and the loss of voice.. i'm the least affected in the family i think.. maybe cause i was overly-susceptible in the past that i have acquired all sorts of immunity to it le.. somemore in the past, i took super strong antibiotics consecutively for dunno like 6 months? lolx.. @ 6:03 PM
music appreciation it's always nice to have sessions of "music appreciation".. where it's just you living in the world of songs.. =) wanted to have lots of this session during the long weekend.. but alas. sigh.. @ 5:44 PM
你愛我嗎 - 樱桃帮 你愛我嗎 - 樱桃帮 你愛我嗎 你是愛我的吧 未來真的很長 如果你不願意回答 最後我會再問你一次你愛我嗎 從前我們走過的地方 像是一幅幅美麗的畫 曾經那些天真的夢想 是不是只能是童話 為什麼我們變成這樣 拿著電話卻說不出話 或許眼淚不讓它流下 就好像不那麼悲傷 你愛我嗎 你是愛我的吧 當你眼睛低下 低下頭不說一句話 你愛我嗎 你是愛我的吧 未來真的很長 如果你不願意回答 最後我會再問一次你愛我嗎 為什麼變得如此沉默 回憶我們最初的承諾 就讓那些浪漫的所有 都消失成黑色天空 你愛我嗎 你是愛我的吧 當你眼睛低下 低下頭不說一句話你愛我嗎 你是愛我的吧 未來真的很長 如果你不願意回答你愛我嗎 你是愛我的吧 未來真的很長 如果你不願意回答最後 我會再問一次你愛我嗎 when moments of the past are reduced to just bits and pieces of memories.. things wil never ever be the same anymore.. thinking over the question again.. if you know you are destined for a certain ending, would you still take that route no matter what? if you knew that to enjoy the days you have with everyone around you means that one day when everyone fades away from view, the pain felt will be double the blow, would you stil choose to have those happy moments? it is a beautiful idea to do what you truly want at the moment without reservation.. to feel the world the way you want.. but beautiful ideas are always just remnant of dreams.. to feel both happiness and sadness, or to do without both totally.. maybe all it takes is just a word of confirmation that wil provide the courage to go on.. 好悲惨的一首歌。。道出了人们的心声与无奈。。 当一切的种种种种最后只能化成回忆。。 @ 5:28 PM
crossroads standing at a crossroad.. where the old meets the new.. and the old fades away.. yet the constant resistance to the new. not because of what they are, but for the very fact taht it's "new.. maybe when it's time to face it seriously, the easier route is to withdraw into a world that exist between neither world than to accept the raw hard fact.. how do you unlock a door that doesn't even have a look to start with? unsavaged by keys.. locked forever in eternity.. an eternity is a moment that one chooses to freeze in as a form of escapade from many other moments.. it's just a desperate move that has been beautified ideologically... but 天长地久有多久？at best it can only be called 凄美.. an eternity.. the time needed to pursue an eternal dream.. @ 5:21 PM
lost to temptations haix.. i still lost to temptations.. the feeling and desire of up-ing level was too great to resist.. yes, i played maple today.. again.. despite the hopeful halfday.. ( only had 2 periods of school today.!!! ) adn i wasted it again playing maple.. not really say waste. i did enjoy it whilst playing. but after i finish playing, i'd be like. oh no, a few hours wasted just like that. and i didn't watch movie online again. =X neither did i get to watch any of the tv drama that i flag down to watch le. =X brrr.. i guess i'd fall for temptation again. =X since i'm almost lvl 25. =X i shall fight the temptation.. and i will come online for blogging, MDWAV, random stuff and movie and drama viewing. but not maple. =X lolx. Anw, on a lighter note.. today we had only 2 periods of lesson!!!! yeah!!!! but the thing is.. tues is my fav sch day. cause dun have the sub that i dun like. hmmmxx.. although i dun like one of the lesson on tues too but nvm. =) it means early day off!!! my goodness.. i could have watched like 3 movie before 7, where my TV marathon takes priority. oh yes.. maple is unable to tempt me away from my usual daily dosage of TV. wahaha. 4 hrs usefully spent on TV. =) *prides* but.. *guilts* it managed to tempt me away from my "unusual" timeslot of 4.30pm weekends, though.. =X but no no no, this weekend, no chance.. i will watch my show!! anw.. early day off!! it's like one of the rare long holidays. self-created for 2 days some more. =) it'd be anotehr 1 more month til the next holiday. but i do look v. forward to it.. =) it has lots of implications.. but it marks the last of the two anw.. if you know what i'm talking about.. =X @ 5:19 PM
a dream had a "nightmare" yest night, or rather this early morning.. can't really rmb the content in details. but i rmb i woke up having creeps and the suspicions of everything around me. i tot of bloggin it down, but the dream had side-effect on me. but somehow, the feeling dispelled with time, so here goes.. there has been a murder case in my dream. where a woman was dissected. the killer was arrested and taken to court. before the court session, somehow, i was allowed a dialouge with the killer, who then took the opportunity to claim over and again that he's innocent, he really didn't do it. so ok, instinctively, i tell myself, i can sense his innocence. there must be something even deeper to what the case seem to be. so during court, although he was sentenced to death, i intercepted and interceded ( wonder how to use this word? lol ) with the judge. and somehow weirdly enough, the judge allowed me to investigate further.. *some details that i forgot* alas, somehow from the forgotten details, i was able to conclude that he really was the killer. that i was wrong all these while. okies. and that's not all. somehow, i was converted to a small little kid working on this case with another kid. then the entire mood of the dream got very scary. feels like when you're watching some horror movie and you nv know what may turn up next. that suspense feeling.. so both of us ( i dunno who the other person was ) couldn't trust any other people and viewed everyone with suspicions. thigns had to be said under whisper etc. finally after much hard work, we finally found mr oh ( what is he doing there? and i got this feeling he's the judge. -_-" ) and told him that the final truth is that.. the killer is really the killer... and the dream ended off with me doing a youtube search online about killer. and i found a clip posted by ( name same as the killer in my dream ) about "act of housewife being dissected" or something to that effect. the exact name was much longer. i dared not view it, but showed this as an evident. and i think the fact that this clip can be found was the scariest bit of the dream. don't ask me why. i jus know becuase i'm gettign the creeps now at this moment.. =X and by the most unglam way, my dream was ended aruptly by the ringing of my alarm clock. =X okies, feeling a bit creepy now. tot i saw shadows on the window. nvm, i saw nothing. must be my imagination.. =X Monday, July 02, 2007 @ 6:18 PM
我和我最初的梦 finally found the name of the song that's stuck in my mind 我和我最初的梦 sang by andy lau. resang by david aw. haha. and he sounded like a nice person on air. haha. =) but the song can be found no where.. =X do we really get distracted from our ideals and goals so easily? @ 6:09 PM
Maple woes? been mappling for the last few days.. finally reached lvl 20 ( in fact now lvl 21 )..  now i begin to think if i have wasted my long holidays on the game.. i wanted to watch so many shows, listen to so many songs, and read their lyrics at the same time.. read up on handphones so that i can zoom in on some of my targets.. gossip more about MDWAV.. so many things.. yet in the end, i spent all my time on Diablo, and maple.. was it all wasted? should i have watched shows? sigh.. oh wells, nvm i can set things right now.. i will not touch maple for a few weeks to make up for all my unlimited shows that i wana watch. oh btw, fang zu has been uploaded =) halfway though. haha. and i gave up alot of tv shows for maple some more.. the tian xia di yi mei po on sat and sun.. so sad.. sigh.. i tot i can watch with ease during the long holiday, in the end it turned out that i din even watch it.. times that i shouldn't watch, i watched the entire length of it and feel quite guilty.. times that i should watch, i forsake it for other things, and still feel guilty.. =X oh wells.. anw, it was stil fun at the moment when i was playing it.. hmm.. fun as in your friends are there. the game itself isn't that nice. haha.. it's 2D and till now i still see it as cute char moving around. =X haha.. diablo is more action-packed, you really see the blood spilling out. =) but even so, the game is very addictive. in the sense that, when you're at it, you can't stop. and the main driving force for me is the lvling up part. i just can't resist the idea that if i play a while more, i can lvl up. =) and it has taken its toll on my eyes. the sub on tv are very blur now. hope it's just temporary. i better not use com for more than 2 hr per day for at least a week, so that my eyes can recover. lolx. i'm not intending to up the degree of my spec after it has stabilize for 6yrs le..=X i'm sure it'd recover. at least it did the other time when i went on a 1 month craze looking for MDWAV stuff. lolx. |