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Thursday, December 31, 2009 @ 11:51 PM
Looking back at 2009 My life's as ordinary as ever, revolving around school, home, computer, tv and friends. It's a good time for some reflection, but somehow the numerous thoughts i once had are simply not in my mind now. Just came back from "countdown" gathering with 01 peeps (even though the countdown hasn't even started lol) no pix cuz my phone is very bad at indoor/night photo. hmm the numbers have shrunk significantly, but i guess numbers are mere figures. yups many of us saw how rapidly the past 2 years have passed and were alarmed at how some of us will be graduating in about a year's time. anw i noted that even though we were doing our usual share of b*-ing, the feel has changed since back then. it's more of looking back at how things were once upon a time. i guess things have and will change but it's more important to move on without thinking too much about the fact that changes do occur. Anyway, back to topic once again.. school's been good in year 2009, in the sense that finally i'm exposed to some official chem eng modules which im able to identify with and enjoy the process of learning. i'm grateful for everything - be it the faculty, course or people. makes me feel very "at home". even though i've heard about "politics" in uni, i don't feel it around me. im glad that the environment i find myself in has been friendly thus far. looking even further back, it was once a shocking thing that I didn't make chemistry my major - in fact till today i stil have people thinking im from science. i've given up dsta to make the switch over to chem engin for unknown reasons that i still have yet to find out. but somehow things worked out (fortunately) for the better and by many random occurrences, i ended up where i am now. about meetups.. somehow i had more meetups over the past few months than the past few years. especially for my sec sch old frens. :D but then again somehow the meetups for jc classmate has decreased in frequency (and in numbers too..) i shld say that it's all about a delicate balance. how do we maintain friendships without seeing it as an obligation/burden. how do we ensure that we keep in contact naturally, seeing it as a want and not a need. im happy about the meetups i had and im glad to note how the essence hasn't changed inspite of the numerous observable changes. about some random observations.. i think that people really do behave differently with others and by themselves. by this, i don't refer to all those fakeries and backstabbings. Rather, it's something more subtle and involuntary - it's about how one's character just change when put in a crowd. we hardly have the luxury to preserve the self that we thought we are. sometimes it just cant be helped. i think it takes time, skills and experience to see beyond what things seem to be and recognise their original form. maybe we can apply the law of physics here - the act of observing changes how things behave.. (disclaimer: nv really learnt such law. only happened to see it randomly somewhere so i might be wrong after all..) i really dowan to commit the fallacy of seeing people in the wrong form. yet much as i hope to avoid passing judgement on others, it's an inevitable process of impression formation. and i dunno to what extent we are able to accept someone for who he/she is, when we know that everything's gonna appear different in reality. okies moving back to a more personal level.. i think an important lesson i've learnt is to go slow and think marginally. lol sounds weird but there's much more to be gained when the pace of viewing things slow down. better still, if the inhibition of time can be lifted, i'd really learn to enjoy things for what they are. and yes, i think im more random than ever and the way i see things is more "unique" than ever. even though i believe there's still more to be said, i'll leave things as it is here. i should think that year 2009 has been a good year for me, looking inwards within myself. okies, goodbye 2009! Labels: Reflection @ 12:10 AM
New Year's Eve Countdown wohoo~ what a great day out man! had a mini gathering with some of our sec sch cliques! cc, hc, mic, s, sh, sj. cool cool! we haven't met up in such a "big" group for quite some time already!  started off @ Bugis junction. the 2 early birds decided to have some fun taking photos.. lol.. and yes we embarked on nature trail at the same time.. somehow i've gotten used to taking photo of plants tt i cant help but to take this photo :D Next up we went to Minds Cafe @ Purvis Street for some bored, i mean boardgaming. haha. it wasn't boring! except for the chicago poker where none of us saw any meaning to it. i was attracted by the "bluffing" label to the game and was disappointed to see no element of bluffing actually o.o of cos we just got high over nothing. haha! and i was the saboteur for 2 out of 4 rounds! wahahha.. and.. theatre white axe :D everyone decided that i shouldn't appear in photo as seen above. see no evil! =X Walked down to city hall for dinner! had kenny rogers @ marina square. all of us had quarter chicken and 3 of us selected the sides macaroni & cheese and potato salad. okies the sides make you full =X sat around till the shop was about to close and we decided to head home. haha. our john little plan was aborted too tho. lol.what a crazy day! countdown to new yr's eve! make it a habit every year! :D and we have even more crazy plans up next week which hopefully would be a success! wahahah~ Monday, December 28, 2009 @ 1:53 PM
Haircut just cut my hair :) i tot it was just so-so in the shop but was lazy to make further changes (with the risk of making it worse). later on, i tot it was messy. but now im satisfied! i think it's just the way i wanted it to be. slightly shorter than usual, but not short. a bit of fringe but not those super short ones i used to have. and at least i have the choice of letting it down or clipping it up now. not really layered but adequately thinned so the hair volume feels alright. I requested for more thinning though with warning that it might make my hair curly. haha. wee~ my hair feels lighter! :D less messy? (i hope..) Sunday, December 27, 2009 @ 1:12 PM
Mindhunter, Surrogates Mindhunter's really good! I din manage to deduce the murderer.
Some other movies I've watched for the past few weeks.. Knowing, Avatar, The Identity, The Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, watchmen, 10 promises to my dog.. and some others that i cant recall offhand. I can't find Amalfi online! :( Friday, December 25, 2009 @ 12:52 PM
Sem 4 timetable? was watching Avatar halfway and my internet connection just went very slow. decided to check CORS out and its official link to modules is finally working! Did timetable planning and tada~ i think everything fits in nicely. I really like packed timetable :D Had a pleasant "surprise" too since i planned my econs tutorial back-to-back without realising that they're both in the same classroom! yay! no worries about rushing from one class to another :D
2 early days and 2 6pm days. Such a balanced semester! hahahaha.. And i really liked the fact that my core module lectures are packed into 10-12 schedule everyday :D @ 12:36 AM
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas! It's the time of the year again.. 陳奕迅-聖誕結 陳奕迅 - Lonely Christmas
Thursday, December 24, 2009 @ 11:34 PM
CC CC K wohoo~ had a great K session @ Chai Chee CC today. Tat counts as Xmas Eve celebration too i guess? lol. anw since it's the season of giving, my frens brought back gifts from their overseas trip (and i was the one who gave nothing o.o). Thanks to all Santa Claus-es and the "christmas sock" provided. It's 5hr long for 3 people, but it was hardly sufficient. We still had like 8 pages left when the screen blinked 15min left?! This motivates us to go for another K session before school starts again. haha din get to clear many songs. Attempted some high/fast/screaming songs - shiok! but i pity my frens' ears though.. and just one last dance is still nowhere to be seen. Anw, as engineers-wannabe, we displayed our commitment to making things work - the 2 mikes were acting weirdly (one louder and super sharp, the other soft and was ok in pitching) and we finally found a way to control those mikes as part of our "problem solving task". First, we observed that there were buttons showing "#" and "b" corresponding to 1, 2, 3, 4 on the remote control. Next, the machine (which was locked up) had 4 mike slots and 1 & 2 were the connection point for our mikes. Now the technical part is to trace which mike was connected to which slot and thus the corresponding number can be found. Tada~ "#" = sharp; "b" = bass? - just adjust them according to preference. Brainless rite? Yes I have a habit of complicating simple stuff - tt's why we have simplexity! :D okies and im addicted to Mr. Brain's laughter. HAHAHAHAHA at the weirdest time possible in a most random fashion. ok that does sounds like me but i gotta stop laughing lidat unconsciously! oh yes, I'm done with watching Mr. Brain except for episode 1. It's not bad, just that the plot got slightly boring towards the end. I liked the "psycho flesh eater" and "amnesiac pianist" story the best. Thumbs up to Mr. Brain himself too for being such a random character! Anw just checked NUSmail and it seems that the department has sent a comprehensive email which had clear guidelines about bidding/module bidding/administrative aob. I'm grateful for such an effort to clarify some doubts we might have before they're formed. Maybe "it's their job/they dont wanna be bombarded with numerous emails asking the same qn over and over again", but i'd rather see it as that they care for our welfare. I dunno when the "We care" motto has faded out of my life, but i see traces of it again. I think we really have great department support staff. Had personal experience too, of how they listened to my bidding woes and tried their best to resolve the issue despite technical glitches - yes they bothered to remember a problem of a student who scribbled some letters and numbers on a piece of postit (even though it did make things worse since the timing wasn't right lol!), of how they were really on standby 24/7 for prompt replies to email during the critical period and fwd-ing my problem to the relevant party rather than simply asking me to check it out elsewhere (even though their (=my) request got lost somewhere along the email chain..), of how they prompted me to just voice out the aob issue i was facing then (even though it was really not part of their scope) so that they can advise accordingly. It's the small gesture of bothering, being friendly/warm, being patient and sincere that mattered and I truly appreciated that.. oh yes, it's already 12.20am so Merry Christmas! :D It's everywhere... Wednesday, December 23, 2009 @ 6:43 PM
耳朵 林宥嘉 “ 耳朵 - 林宥嘉 太亲密的关系像不像海底 看著温柔的草美丽的鱼 屏息太久一瞬间快不能呼吸 秘密会不会是某种氧气 有没有一种孤僻能被允许 当著最爱的人面无表情 躲在自己的世界混乱或整理 就是单纯地不想被干预 翻完我的简讯我的信 能不能顺便翻翻我的心情 我们有隔间不同的心灵 所以有动线不同的情绪 当爱情只剩嘴巴少了耳朵 就变得你只相信你猜测的 当感应在你我之间不再流动 该怎麼说 没死不代表活著 当爱情只剩眼睛少了耳朵 就变得你只看到你怕看的 我努力越解释你越流泪激动 但有些事 不仔细听不会懂 ” 另一首yoga的好歌。这专辑真好，藏着许多宝等待着被发觉。 有点类似我之前想表达的意思，我们很少仔细聆听别人想说什么。 或者应该说，很多时候我们都单方面先入为主地对某人事物下定论。 我们不了解也猜不透这世界，因为我们跳不出为自己设下的框框。 当有了《耳朵》，该是时候了解《感同身受》了。 @ 11:45 AM
Iris Quite disturbed by the ending of Iris.  I'm not really a fan of happy endings neither am I saddistic enough to desire for sad ending for the sake of having the sad ending. It's just disturbing to see that happiness is just there but Hyun Jun is unable to attain it. And also how they might seem to have broken off all ties with whatever conspiracies there are, yet the truth is, they've never really managed to escape from the hands of "whoever it is out there". Another thing is that the show started off with many question marks, yet when questions are answered, more questions appear; something along the line of, the more we know, the more we don't know kinda thing. I like it this way though.. Anyway, I think the show has many sad characters who are carefully manipulated throughout their whole lives. Somehow I feel that Sa Woo is the saddest of all even though Hyun Jun's (and maybe Seung Hee's) destiny has been pre-arranged from the time they were chosen to live. At least I feel that IRIS has arranged their lives for them to cater to IRIS's end. On the other hand, Sa Woo was manipulated to match IRIS's plans for Hyun Jun. It's like a secondary form of manipulation and his existence is merely to supplement that of Hyun Jun's existence. Everyone's living under suppression and when they thought they've broken out of it, the truth is, that's just part of a larger plan. Conspiracy theories never go wrong as their response to oppositions is that.. "ah! that's part of the conspiracies you see.." Monday, December 21, 2009 @ 2:33 PM
10 promises to my dog Hmm I finally watched the "10 promises to my dog". It left a deep impression in me after watching the preview in the cinema and I finally caught it online. nice, exactly the way i thought it would be. I like this movie for its simplicity.  One of the promise kept lingering in my mind.. "You have school and friends. I have only you as my friend." Putting this in another words, it's the best outcome to have people who are truely your friends. Yet it's tempting to know more people and have fun etc (disregarding whether those ties are for real). There's no contradictions yet, except when everyone feels the same temptations and the second-best result is obtained - knowing many people, but not one that you can call your friend. The saddest part of it all is that in this process, we overlook people who treat us as a friend. There's many distractions and obligations that we have have to fulfil in our lives and it's okay to see to them, just that we shouldn't lose sight of what truly matters, else we'd have lost a part of ourselves. The conversation between Akari and her father was touching too. When apologizing to her father for indirectly causing the loss of his prestigious job, the father's reply was.. "No, my life wasn't confined. Doing research at an university isn't a real doctor at all. I want to be here cooking omelette and listening to my patients. That way, I know how to be a man and a doctor. Living a full life." One side of us says go all out and soar, the other side yearns for quality time that's translated to happiness. It isn't really that clear-cut what we're trading off when we make either choice. My personal take is that, the more you gain, the more you lose. As for their relative magnitude, it's up to one to decide. And I believe that all these gains/losses that seemed like the world to us now, wouldn't matter anymore in the future. Many people will play a part in our lives. Some will walk by our side. Maybe none will be there always. My philosophy is that the present doesn't exist; our lives are made up of bits and pieces of the past. Treasure every moment and memories will be the ones that will follow us till the end of time. Sunday, December 20, 2009 @ 6:07 PM
The answer to the question. as of now okies i finally took some time off my uneventful life to do some timetable planning which translates to, should i continue with econs? I have many different versions of the recommended schedule coming from econs department, chem eng department, engin department, some "official" website for ddp; which gets really confusing cause they have different methods of categorizing what constitutes "common module", "FASS requirement" and stuff. i finally took the effort to patiently map their various definitions to each other to see shades of overlap and i think i got it. finally. So i need 98 MC (Engin degree - no questions about this) + 24 MC of EC cores + 20 MC of EC electives + 16 MC of common modules + 20 MC for FASS requirement + 12 MC uni requirement = 190 MC [There's discrepancy between the "official source" of 182 MC cuz of the 2 maths module ] Anyway, based on the assumption that the above schedule is the correct one, I had underestimated the required modular requirement by 2 modules. (ah.. that's when it's impt to distinguish the role of the 2 maths modules) Which means that if i pressed on with my original plan, my sem 9 = 7 modules O.o The reason why there's this serious overshooting of modules is that.. I refuse to give up the chance to go on IA or the possibility to pursue a specialisation in biomolecules. That effectively adds on 5 psuedo module load to my timetable since i'd be away for a sem (12MC) and there's a need to compensate the "common modules" with 2 extra modules (8MC). Asking myself which one will i be more willing to give up: Econs degree or IA + specialisation, my answer is econs degree, in spite of the rational choice of the latter. Another problem is that, I have difficulty trying to find 5 Econs electives that i'm interested in, what's more 7. It's gonna be a huge challenge trying to fit all 7 into one sems anyway. Looking back, I've given up some other possible options for econs already - Chemical Science Programme, analytical chem minor, forensic sci minor and potentially some other plans I have in mind which wouldn't be possible with the extra econs load. Fortunately (though not anything glam), econs is admittedly just a convenient excuse for me to dismiss those possibilities. Simply put, I was undecisive/plain lazy in making the necessary applications. So my conclusion as of now is that I simply cannot continue with econs ddp because there are things that I'm unwilling to give up. A point of relief is that I'm enjoying my life in my home faculty and what i'm doing under my primary degree :D So by benefit-cost analysis, the cost of my exit is minimal and i gain from the absence of opportuntity cost involved in giving up things that mattered. But right now, it doesn't matter what degree status I hold (in fact until Sem 7 actually..) so i still have lots of time to sit on this issue and retain my pseudo identity as an econs student :P @ 5:42 PM
Kopi tad tio bing Heard one of the funniest phrase used in coffeeshop. “Kopi 踢/塞到冰” (in hokkein) I suppose it means ice coffee. But isn't it easier to say Kopi Bing? Why Kopi tad tio bing? :O Labels: Random Saturday, December 19, 2009 @ 9:49 PM
Listen to be Heard  Everyone wants to be heard, but nobody is listening. The funniest conversation I've heard is when both parties say, "No, you listen to me. You have to listen to me!" Labels: thoughts @ 8:51 PM
Corrie- Chanced upon this short article on people's behaviour when they meet in corridors. Rather interesting and true. Corriearklet: Recognise each other from the ends of the corridors but immediately pretend they haven't. Corriedoo: Aware of each others' presence from afar but fakes sudden recognition only when they're near each other. Corrievorrie: Gotta maintain a smile/wave for the length of time they see each other until they finally reach the end and heaves a sigh of relief. Corriecravie: Both sees each other but pretend to be doing something else and hence did not notice each other. Corriemoillie: Both makes a move of recognition far too early and realise that there's still a long way of akwardness to go. Corriemuchloch: People who make a mess of even task such as walking down the corridor. (by Douglas Adam and John Lloyd) Labels: Random @ 8:38 PM
Murphy's Law "Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong."
Can the only exception to Murphy's Law be Murphy's Law itself? Labels: Random Monday, December 14, 2009 @ 11:54 PM
"Old" TMS frens gathering Had a gathering with "old" TMS frens today. a good 5-7 yrs since we were classmates back then. I still rmb those times, even though it's been a while since im physically back in school or gotten in contact with some of my frens from back then. Kick started the day off with lunch @ Marche. It's my first time eating at Marche and the outlet at 313 @ Somerset seemed rather limited in its choices. Apparently there was this long queue at a particular stall which seemed to have a pyschological effect on us that it's good/try me! (or maybe the other choices were not attractive enough?) Anyhow all 5 of us settled for that - 3 cheese sausage and 2 garlic pork.
Had a real great day! Even though I'm in a different environment (nus) from them, might da-connect sometimes, not knowing what to say at other times, the feeling isn't very much different from the past. I'm glad that even though things have changed, they have also remained the same at the same time.  And yes the random shot of the day: this (above) from Gallary @ Orchard Central. Something about it is alluring. I suspect it's the disjoint in the middle. @ 12:42 AM
Serial Experiment Lain - Revisited.
-- Arisu, Serial Experiment Lain Yeah i actually re-watched SEL yesterday. Finished the anime at one shot. It felt less confusing this time round. In anticipation of the great complexity that lies ahead, I was actually theorizing some complex idea in my mind, eg. multiple layers of what we call the Wired. It went as far as trying to note the change in Lain's attire to associate the level consciousness to that of reality, wired or wired in the wired. lol i conveniently abandoned this after i ran into too much contradictions. -.- Anw Lain seems to run parallel to that of NGE regarding the concept of "one-ness" and how humans have reached their limit and should evolve by abandoning their physical flesh. Both gave similar conclusion - we cannot do without our flesh (even though they might just serve as mere reminder of our existence) and that it's better to suffer real pain than to enjoy a false sense of happiness. Even if we do evolve to be a being that's omnipotent, there's still something lacking - the feeling of "realness". Another recurring theme is that of self-identity. Both Shinji and Lain went on a long painful journey of self-discovery as they try to figure out who they really are. It seems that there's many fragments of us in others' mind and sometimes we're too bothered by what these images represent. Hence we find ourselves trying too hard to please others, and in the process, perhaps losing track of the real us. At other times, we try too hard to re-assert ourselves - which could actually reveal that we're really too bothered by others' opinion actually. (Reminds me of Asuka) Anw the ending of Lain is really good i must say - leaves a tinge of sadness mixed with happiness. It's sad to see how Lain is erased from everyone's memory, akin to her ceasing to exist just like that. Yet it's comforting to know that even though memories have been erased, feelings still remains. Family and friends have this residual feeling that something should be there, though they don't really know what. Even so, it still appears to be a beautiful tragedy at best. The best part comes when Arisu asked Lain, "What is your name?" and Lain replied, "Lain". It's an elegant plot - with this, Lain re-existed in reality. Despite the apparent confusing plot, it's really an elegant piece of art. It can be really simple, once we let go of all complexities that didn't really matter. Saturday, December 12, 2009 @ 9:09 PM
A Day Out It's a day out with CC! started off with a klunch session @ MS. The chicken rice was not bad i must say. Must have been a disastrous session though cuz bad singing + sore throat = ultimate formula for "hear-no-evil". Nonetheless it was a fun session! Esp towards the end where we could just shout it out loud to songs eg. In the end, It's my life and Numb. Oh yes, the song list's quite updated - they have 偶尔，说谎，感同身受etc. Pity English songs were still lacking in variety. There wasn't Just One Last Dance.  Next up we ended to Bugis Street for some shopping spree. I ended up buying nail polish (argh should have bought the top coat too) and hp screen protector (after my current protector is offically gone case le). Saw a top that i quite like but din get it anyway. lol. din manage to get a pair of sneakers (grrr labs labs labs!) Yups despite the seemingly great variety of things available @ Bugis street, I seldom find things that I like :(  Headed to Iluma in search for the new Kbox outlet. Or rather, a more high-end ksuite under the control of kbox. Okies looks quite high-end and there were about 4 staff sitting around (looks like they have nothing to do). Roamed around and took quite a bit of photos. Actually Iluma is filled with quite a bit of cool stuff at hidden areas. Settled on Manhattan Fish Market for dinner. Apparently there's 5 dollars off somehow which doesn't apply to everyone - I'm not sure how it works, but i highly suspect it's price discrimination in an attempt to lure undecided potential customer into dining in. Had grilled fish with garlic rice (haix no chips cuz of my throat) which was quite ok.  and then it was home sweet home for me! A well-spent day! looking forward to more outings - expenditure without income though. mmm... And i enjoyed the bus journey home - it's always good to have some alone time to think over things, maybe even nothing.  有迹可寻的影子。 Wednesday, December 09, 2009 @ 6:33 PM
It's Tampines Day! finally another day out! I'm bored stiff at home, not to mention the amount of damage im exposing my eyes to. [my eyesight hasn't deteriorated, but i think it has suffered enough damage for things to go out of focus. much more than 3 sems of studying =(] met up with sarah @ tampines. ahh the East, where i belong. feels much better and familiar than Central areas actually. no matter how the relative frequency of visits change over the years, I still feel more at ease in the East. We took almost 1 hr to decide on what to get for lunch -.- finally decided on Pizza Hut. It was a correct decision! :D We agreed that its standard has risen alot, both pasta and pizza. Since we went for the student meal, it costs only about 7 bucks each - which was super worth it for the quality we get. :D  Pardon the poor quality - phone's bad at indoor pix :( Sesame crust BBQ sausage!    Thanks hc and sarah! [Oh man! poor indoor lighting! kinda miss K770 which takes photo effortlessly - i don hav to bother about lighting and stuff =X] it was a good shopping spree too. Spent 40 bucks on cotton on stuffs, but at least i got almost everything - t-shirts, shorts and slippers. I'm all ready for the start of semester. It's crazy but i can't wait for it to start (at least tt's wad i feel now) - im just so bored! anw, the uniqlo jacket was out of stock after all. haix nvm it's not fated to be mine :(  Anw just randomly surfing fb and i thought about a decision made few years back. it was a biazarre choice that puzzled many and went against their votes, but nonetheless they still went along with my decision. I wonder how right that decision was but i never got to find out. it was a judgement that deviated from others, and how accurate was it? Monday, December 07, 2009 @ 6:21 PM
Watchmen Finally got down to watching Watchmen. Such a long movie! 3.5hr! =X it was pretty alright. I'd appreciate a faster pace though. What i liked most about the show is that, it's really not about superheroes - behind every Watchmen, there's a hidden dark story/some moral flaws in them. Brings me insecurity though since it deviates from the usual idea of superheroes being high up there beings, but nonetheless, that's reality isn't it?  I'm quite disturbed by the ending though - a false sense of peace and stability built upon lies and conspiracies. I accepted such ending in the Dark Knight, and even applauded Batman for being a true hero. The difference this time round is that, the 2 guys responsible for making such a decision weren't truly motivated by genuine concern for mankind. Adrian probably just saw it as another masterpiece of his intelligence - a carefully crafted manipulation of events culminating in peace. Dr. Manhattan probably found it interesting how peace can be achieved in such a manner and decided to accept this. Anyway, necessary sacrifices? That's just so utilitarian. And I never knew how negatively i could react to the concept of utilitarian till i saw this movie. Sacrificing a couple millions to save many more millions? Actually it isn't the numbers that matters, or rather there's only one number that matters - one. It's every single individual out there that matters, nobody has the right to decide that this one is going to be sacrificed or should be the one to survive. Adrian can be the smartest person; Dr. Manhattan can be great physicist - so i'm sure they know their maths, but they dunno the meaning behind their maths.  My favourite hero is Rorschach. He was the only one that stood strongly by his belief all these while. "Even if it meant the end of the world". Stubborn? Inflexible? Probably so. Yet there certainly are things worth defending or standing steadfast by even till the end of time, and he was the one who showed such resolute. I was greatly saddened by his death, fortunately, his legacy still remains. Actually even though he portrayed a hardened image (esp after the kidnap case), I realise that he has never really caused harm to innocent people (from the beginning, he din kill the cops as I thought he would). In fact, I think that he's the most "feeling" being of them all. Yet also the saddest of them all as he perceive his true identity to be the mask, and his true face to be a fragile alternative being to himself. Strong in belief (and strength), yet weak in the face of himself. Anyway, the included "Tale of the Black Freighter" was rather disturbing too. I interpret it as implying that what Dr. Manhattan and Adrian are doing is horror itself. Just like the Captain in that side story, they've identified a problem and wish to resolve that driven by a sense of justice. Yet in the end, all these talk about a sense of justice or motivation by love for others just turns out to an illusion protecting themselves from the image of horror that they've become. every single small step taken seems to be necessary move for self-preservation/survival; yet put everything together and you have a sure path to self-destruction. reflective of life isn't it? don't we sometimes make small excuses for each marginal move we take? Superheroes? Who are they? @ 12:04 PM
A blurred line I'm quite disturbed about how the line between reality and the virtual world seems to be blurred. Overheard a news about this business which helps the deceased handle their virtual "funeral". [Probably meant cleaning up of their online social networking accounts and stuff?] have we come to a stage where we practically live in the virtual world? Has the "second life" become an alternative life to reality? admittedly, many of us (including me) are dependent on technology, but are we already part of it? This reminds me of the world shown in Lain. Disturbing indeed.. and i just saw a news which claimed that certain genes might protect one against TB. if it's true, then it might be a good piece of news. but the way it was brought across is rather disturbing. Things about breaking the genetic code, studying the genome, manipulating individual characteristics etc. doesn't sound like sci/technology is there to help us. it seems more of we're slaves/experimental targets of science and technology. might there be a day where humans are reduced to the mere receiving end of technology? Undoubtly, the scientists are still the ones administering the use of knowledge, but still to me, it's a fact that what we can do is to discover what's already out there. Even if something is created from scratch, nonetheless the starting material with which we're working with is still from nature. We never know when some random combination of technology might go seriously wrong. Well, that's just me being an alarmist as usual. Flashforward (not in exact words): "we're scientists. we do experiments to collect empirical datas. we can never anticipate the consequences of our experiments but nonetheless, this doesn't mean we should stop experimenting" - response to the possibility that their quantum experiment was the cause of the blackout resulting in millions of deaths. slippery slope... fallacy? or slippery slope period @ 11:12 AM
A running experience feeling great now! went for a morning run or rather jog. condition today was pretty good and i actually ran 20 rounds! took about 40min. I suppose each round is about 300m. tt's ~ 6km :D din experience naseous feeling/twisted stomach this time round, so i just kept going. the weather was great too! initially i wanted to stop when the sun was getting glaring, but soon, the clouds came along. anw, i seriously think im getting old - had weird feeling in kneecap. had some random thoughts while walking to my running place.. I suppose it's easy to identify ourselves with strangers sometimes because there are similar characteristics linking all of us. imo, there's one glaring similiarity (in today's context) and that is of loneliness. Yet, when we know people better on personal basis, shades of differences surface and the sense of separateness grows. we might meet some people whom we are able to relate to, and that becomes our close circle of frens. but still, in general, the irony that the more we know about each other, the further the distance get, remains in spite of the "one-ness" of the form of emotions that's present. Reminds me of Yoga's 感同身受. while running, had another thought. (which was a concept that i've been playing with quite often actually) it seems that numbers lose their value when they become prominently huge. 1 might mean alot, but 1 in a million appears insignificant. in liar game, 100million debt sounds astronomical to me initially, but soon as people run into 500million debt etc, this astronomical sum of money is reduced to mere figures. It seems as though the numbers have reached their threshold limit to retain its value. Maybe every measurable quantity has a threshold limit after which we just become desensitized to what those numbers stand for after all? Probably things that will retain their value regardless of its size (this reminds me of intensive properties :O) are those whose size cannot be measured. Happiness is one of them. It's limitless, boundless; can be as big/small as we want it to be, can be absent/present depending on how we perceive it. What is the form? How do we break out of the restrictions of the physical form to see the form that truly matters? Labels: thoughts Sunday, December 06, 2009 @ 4:13 PM
Hols to-do-list okies im so gonna make my hols a meaningful one! 1) Learn basic jap and conversational cantonese. (Focus!!!) 2) Catch many old movies online (I cant recall wad i wanted to watch though..) 3) Think over academic stuff. econs?? 4) Read some good books - recommendations? 5) Cultivate good habit of reading the news (at least a short 10min dedicated to this daily. I dowan2 feel so "froggish") 6) hmm.. Buy new clothes and shoes! Eat! my xxl chicken cutlet! let me clear #1 first before extending the list further... @ 12:00 PM
Patience and small regrets okies.. so there's a Singtel Roadshow @ Bedok? lol.
After waiting for a month, i finally bought my new phone. and soon after that, there was the Christmas sales, Sitex sales and now Promo @ Bedok. haha i shall learn to be patient next time rather than making rash decisions then. Wondering if i should get Ipod Touch too. hmmm.. Patience. Take it slowly, one step at one time. It's time to really know myself and stop making decisions that i'd end up regretting. What really matters to me? What don't matter? @ 12:26 AM
Post-exam celebration continues... a few of us went for "post-exam celebration" today. (lol yes post-exam celebrations can nv end :P)  Kick started it off with Suki Sushi buffet :D we ordered lots of stuff today but we could have eaten more! lol. Anw i got to eat my miso soup again and lots of salmon - which i think wasn't fresh (some had black spot on it.. which i removed.) our fav should be the baked mussels ba. lol anw i don think im gg back for this buffet for quite some time. Firstly the variety is quite limited actually and it's never good to have the same buffet again and again. After leaving Cineleisure, we were joined in some activities of which one of us (above) was picked (or rather saboed) by the host for an interview. rofl. anw 933 was in charge of this activity and i think the host was Jia Hui. okies so we moved ard and went to ToastBox to chill (or rather rest). Lingered around Orchard until we finally settled for Far East Plaza. there was a food fair over there and I ordered a Ma La Tofu + Veg. HMPH my hands were too busy to take photo of my food :( it's was shiok-ly spicy - i hope i don suffer tomolo. haha. was contemplating b/w XXL chicken and some Korean BBQ squid (looked really tasty!)hmmm.. Friday, December 04, 2009 @ 5:47 PM
Random Speech Hmm feeling random and bored so I decided to re-listen to a "speech" again. I must admit that when i heard all those advices the first time round, I thought they were redundant and "the same old things". With a more "peaceful" mind now, those words actually made alot of sense and I believe those are the very words that would stay with me many years down the road. "Face it, tt's life.. Better to be exposed to the reality now.." "Better to learn how to establish good working relationships now..." Indeed the cruel reality. We gotta face it, learn it, accept it. Resisting might be a natural instinct, but maybe the way to go is to grow with reality. Actually when I look at the "speech" as a whole, it's particularly inspiring and very true. (which means i din make the wrong choice of candidate) Put it together with the other speech elsewhere, it really highlights the importance of not losing track of what's truly important for something that doesn't really matter at the end of the day. Learn to let go of inhibitions of everything that doesn't matter.. @ 12:12 PM
The End of Evangelion Just finished watching "The End of Evangelion". lol seems like i'm on a NGE marathon. It's a parallel storyline to NGE, which kinda explained the gaps in the original ending.  The most significant idea that i received from this parallel ending is that humans are separate entities and can never seek to fully understand each other. Nonetheless, the alternative scenario where the concept of individual entities ceasing to exist as separate forms isn't any better since when "others" cease to exist, "I" cease to exist too. After all, the "self" is formed from the multiple images in others mind. Who knows, the way we perceive our "selves" might be via observations of other selves that's different from "me". In a nutshell, it's meaningless to talk about the "self" without "others". Translating the above into practical sense would be as follow - we reject others and close our hearts because we're afraid of being hurt and betrayed (since everyone's different) - heh my fav hedgehog's dilemma again. Silently, we run away from reality and truth because we're afraid. Secretly, we wish for others to understand us. Now the irony is, to achieve this end, we have to first open our hearts for others to enter; not run away and fantasize a world where everyone is in synchrony with ourselves (only to lose the self afterall). Bottomline is: don't close your heart claiming that it's cause others don't understand you; rather the the causal relation runs the other way round - Asuka to Shinji (or was it the other way round?): "How do you expect me to understand you if you don't say anything?!" This kinda reminds me of Lain: "Close the world, open the next"... Thursday, December 03, 2009 @ 4:38 PM
Neon Genesis Evangelion wohoho. I'm finally done with rewatching Neon Genesis Evagelion! :D Feels good. The last 5 episodes were particularly depressing; fortunately, the final 10mins puts everything back into place again. And much to my delight, the entire theme centered around the self and identity after all, rather than the need to understand specifically what the Eva, Angels, Adam etc were there for. lol.  Just some bits and pieces of ideas from the show.. "The "me" is constructed from the multiple images in others. Reality is but a perceived truth; it is constantly changing, be it with time or people. We selectively revise our experiences in life and this forms the truth - the twisted truth. There's a part of us that's lacking; and we try hard to run away from this self, we withdraw from the world, we isolate ourselves. By ignoring, we do not feel betrayed or hurt, but the sadness remains. We can forget, that's why we live on. Given a choice, would you choose to 1) pretend to live a life which goes according to what you desire (aka your imagination), even though it's just a false sense of happiness or 2) face the fact of what you are lacking in and open up your heart to true happiness?"  Specifically in Shinji's case, he feels so lonely and neglected because of his father. Yet he is unable to face up to this truth and ends up withdrawing into his isolated world, where he feels that everyone hates and rejects him. Probably somewhat like an alternative reality that makes him "feel better" (in the sense that he runs away from the true root of hurt in him) but nonetheless, it was a false sense of "security". And that's where my favourite theory of this show - the Hedgehog's Dilemma sets in. At the end (fortunately), he realises that he is able to control the reality he lives in by viewing things from different angle. Shinji finally breaks out of his depression and lets go of the darkness in him; in return he receives love from everyone, in particular, his father too. I especially liked the very end, where everyone starts to "congratulate" Shinji.  All that being said, the difficult part is how do we go about perceiving reality in positive light. And the answer lies within ourselves. @ 2:53 PM
嘲笑声 多余的话尤其在不适当时候说出只会听起来像是嘲笑声。 就连简单的"谢谢”或“对不起”都能成为无形的嘲笑声。 *random* 林宥嘉的“心酸”曲真是优美，可惜词无法引起共鸣。 @ 10:57 AM
It's my life I'm having residual doubts about varying degrees of "nice-ness" encountered. Maybe what i think it is is it; Yet maybe things are not really what it seems to be. The truth is never all that apparent until the final moment, But how do you know that the final moment is indeed the moment? The bigger truth is that, we never do know. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. It's pointless to pass quick judgement on anything; only time will tell it all. The only thing that I can do within my own limits, is to check my own behaviour/attitude/values etc. It's my life and I don't wanna live it under the judgement of others, or judging others. Wednesday, December 02, 2009 @ 9:39 PM
-- Steve Jobs From an email sent by my econs lecturer. Labels: thoughts @ 8:46 PM
ABC [The incomplete list] A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z A - productivity factor B - base C - consumption D - E - elimination reaction F - fischer projection G - gibbs free energy H - enthalpy I - investment J - K - capital L - labour M - Markovnikov's rule N - employment O - P - price Q - tobin q R - cost of capital S - entropy T - temperature U - internal energy V - Vendetta (",) W - wage X - export Y - output Z - Zaistev's Rule Now I know my ABC, next time won't you sing with me? @ 8:12 PM
it's over "oh yeah!!" so it has ended. yet another sem is over; this time much faster than usual. feeling relieved that the hectic exam period is done and over with, yet having a tinge of sadness that some of my modules have ended. hmm this sounds crazy, but I really enjoyed many of my modules time time round. more significantly, i'm increasingly convinced that my choice of course is the right one. :D  From left: Macro, Org Chem, Micro, Fluids, Thermody :D. Absent: CTW (lol..) Anw i think that the single most important lesson i've gotten from this sem is that im slowing down my pace of doing things. lol. Rather than aim for speed, I go for quality of thoughts. Partially inspired by some people who do think through things thoroughly. Really admire how they can remain so steady while processing their thoughts. Looking back, I think I've been rather "kan chiong" in learning, thinking that speed (with adequate amt of accuracy of cos) is everything. Ever since my thoughts gradually 沉淀下来, I realise that there's better understanding of knowledge now as compared to the past where I'll just move on whenever i "get it". Probably that's y im enjoying my modules this time round, cuz i feel that im truly learning rather than using the knowledge as merely means to an end. Hmm.. Been playing around with an idea for the past few days and I think i'll consider it seriously as an option. Let's see my decision 2.5yrs from now. Anw a more pressing issue to ponder over now is whether I want to carry on with my econs. lol i've been dragging my feet over this issue and trying to delay the "deciding moment" sems after sems. (Just a random side note from macro econs: we talk about present and future, but now is nowhere to be found.) okies. I'll think over it... some day. To mark the end of exams, i gave myself little treats. :D  Asai Yaki Soba (i think..) from some Jap Town in Vivocity. 6 of us had a post-exam celebration on Tues. For me, it was a pre-post-exam celebration. lol. Finally treated myself to 3-in-1 (soya bean drink + beancurd + tang yuan) @ Engin Canteen. Been waiting for have it since end of last sem?! This really marked the official end of my exams :D @ 7:30 PM
8 days 8 days. I wonder what this would mean to me. Will I remember its significance? Or will it be too insignificant? |
Really, it's like hash brown. lol. Anw it wasn't really filling, but sufficient to make us feel rather sick.
Next up was our desert! hmm I tot the "fruit cake" was the nicest :D The other 2 (cheesecake and choc fudge cake) felt too rich without the right taste. lol..
Being as random as ever, i decided to take a photo of this flower. Nothing special about it, i just felt like taking a close up of something. Anw i like the way how the leaves go out of focus.
And for a bit of malu moments, we were rather amazed by this wall which showed silhouette of people enjoying their coffee or something. (some ads for a new shop) we decided to imitate some of their sitting action. Turned out to be rather disastrously funny. haha.
Some group photos. I must say we're quite well-coordinated in terms of colour scheme. 不约而同 :D I really liked the "head" pose; i dunno why though, it's seriously random - 