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Friday, March 31, 2006 @ 10:01 PM
Xin Shan Shan Ending Xin Shan Shan just ended.. Beautiful ending.. I'd say.. it's an open ending, most ppl won't accept it.. but i particularly like this kind of ending.. I was quite afraid that they'd just show that WuMing survived the ordeal after all, esp since they gave another 1min of the show after the ending song. Anyway, the ending was so. Li's Bro settled with B-ge once and for all. B was about to knock down her bro when WUMing came to save him. But he was knocked off the rooftop and collided on a car.. Instantly, he lost his consciousness.. On their journey to the hospital, Li encouraged him not to give up. Use his willpower to survive. Just like how she managed to bend the fork with her willpower.. Later on, Li preyed upon the stars and she really did see sparkling stars.. She believed that WuMing will recover.. In the hospital, WuMing's wife, and Angie was there by WuMing's side. waiting for his recovery. He did move his fingers. Though they were unaware of it, as they were asleep.. And the show ended.. I like it when they din explicitly show that he recovered and lived happily ever after.. That's too clinche.. This ending is exactly wad i want.. it's not certain, but fringed with uncertainties, which fits more into the picture of reality.. Live believing in mircles. Believe and it can be, don't believe and it can't be.. Sometimes, in life, we can't be too realistic. Look beyond wad our eyes see and our brain says and feel things with our heart.. Perhaps others might find this ending unlogical and lame.. But.. what's the meaning of life then, if we had to use logic to define every single thing? Listen to your brain, and your world is limited to only your brain.. Listen to your heart, and you know that you'll be true to your feelings and most importantly.. yourself.. P.S. This is one of the rare shows after MDWAV that has this kind of endings.. It's also a show that base plots on feelings.. Just like MDWAV.. And the thing is.. Plots that can't happen in real life are those that attracts me most.. Because you are limited to just where your imagination brings you to.. @ 9:32 PM
Xin Shan Shan halfway thru the last episode of xin shan shan.. Realised that it's a real touching show.. "Because i live in a world of darkness, that's why i dun wish for others to follow the same road as me" Said by Li, who is acting as a blind girl in the show. She has decided to put up an act that she has given up on WuMing so that he can be together with his wife. She believes that this is the best ending and everyone will be happy, WuMing, His wife and Angie ( their child ). But she doesn't know that her selfless act is also a selfish act, causing much misery to WuMing.. Sigh.. Which brings me back to the human theory.. Also, Li has penned the lyrics of a song. Just now, WuMing has already composed the tune and even played the song for her.. It's Chu Mo by Wei Lian.. That scene is really touching.. haiz.. Monday, March 27, 2006 @ 2:10 PM
11.55am! Today is such a wonderful day!!! It's my first time experience at being dismissed from school officially at 11.55am!! Wow! The presence of the word "am" is just so thrililng. ^_^ Since pri sch till sec sch, i dun think i had such early dismissal time b4! Wow! @ 1:53 PM
Paradoxes, contradictions and lies I was just thinking about a sad issue regarding human civilisation.. And as life as a whole i suppose.. I realise that life is actually constructed mainly on paradoxes, contradications and lies.. "because i loved her, so i had to kill her" -- Taken from a show. Anyway.. Logically speaking, we'll want to sacrifice, even our lives, for the one we truly love in order to see him/her alive.. However, from another point of view, you'd want to kill the other party, because you know precisely that the survivor will live a lifetime filled with grievance, regrets and heart-pain. So this act of selfishness can also be considered an act of self-sacrifice. But, how do we know that the party who's dead won't feel pain? After all, who knows where we go to after we're "dead"? Conclusion: No matter what actions we decide to take, whether self-sacrificial or selfish act, there'd always be a negative effect to it, which far outweighs the positive effect. "To build Utopia, we need a perfect lie" We're all working towards perfection. An analogy: When we have slow computers, we want faster ones. When we have the fast ones, we hope for it to have multiple functions. When the computer can multi-function, we hope for supercomputers. And now, we're wishing for quantum computers. This ongoing striving for perfection has always been around, since the start of universe. But actually, a perfect world is just impossible. But we just continue to delude ourselves that all we're doing is for the betterment of human race. This perfect lie is actually just used to cover up for the perfect destruction as a results of this perfect lie. So it's a vicious cycle. We're just convincing ourselvse that our standard of living is getting better. But is it really? WIth rapid depletion of natural resources, presence of ozone hole, rise of global temperature etc, all i can say is that we're moving towards utter devastation. Conclusion: The perfect lie of moving towards Utopia is just to cover up for the fact that we're actually heading towards unstoppable self-destruction. @ 1:44 PM
My Dream Had a dream last night.. It was one of those war dreams again.. And as usual, Japan is involved in my dreams.. I can't really recall the front part of the dream.. i just rmb the few moments b4 the end of the dream.. Apparently, some ppl were on a wooden raft ( from China i supp? can't recall =X ). Some were holding onto the raft, while submerged in the sea. The raft was passing thru a rocky area and these ppl in the sea were steering the raft manually so that it doesn't collide with any of the rocks.. And the dream ended with these ppl seeing a land with ppl walking around. ( i supp that land is japan? ) Then, just like a TV serials, the end would appear.. Funnier still, i could be rather sure that the words were something about vampire Part 2. And i'm quite sure it's MDWAV 3 - II.. Even more coincidentally, i set my alarm ringtone to be MDWAV song, chong sheng midi. And at that exact moment when everything frooze and those words appeared, the alarm rang. ( almost like TV shows where everything freezes and the song plays and words appear.. ) THough i can't exactly describe my dream now, but i have a strong feeling that it's about a war. Though i can't recall anything to do with war. But i'm certain there was a war somehow.. Dreams are a mode of transport to the space-time disruption zone, or dimensions in my definition. What does the dream says then in this case? @ 1:41 PM
enthusiastic = nitrogen My Definition of Enthusiastic By the theory of lameology, Enthusiastic = Enthu Enthu = N2 N2 = Nitrogen Thus, by default, Enthusiatic should mean Nitrogen. -.-" @ 1:37 PM
Skill kills Now i know why learning a skill kills one's brain cells or whatever it is within concern. First, take the s away from skill. Skill - s = kill Then put the s behind kill. kill + s = kills There! you've got it! ^_^ Saturday, March 25, 2006 @ 4:42 PM
quote If you don't want others to know wad you're thinking of, you either talk very fast or you talk rubbish.. Wednesday, March 22, 2006 @ 8:32 PM
PDP issues PDP matters.. I have quitted guitar officially. haha. It's quite a waste of time for me. Cuz we just go there, receieve a song sheet, and try to practice how to play it. Which means that i'd rather just play the guitar at home and practice songs that i wanna learn how to play. Rather than songs that i've nv heard b4. After all, so far, no one is officially teaching.. You're just learning on your own.. haha.. LEO is getting better and better. It seems that LEO has given me real great insights to problems and society and made me realise how our every single move does make an impact on society. Seems like it was a wise decision to stick with the PDP.. ^_^ Values learnt here is something felt with the heart and not generated by the brain.. I wanna join Sci Co too. As 2nd PDP.. I dunno why i din join it in the first place at all.. It was one of my no 1 concern when i was still in sec sch. Whether the college had science related PDP,esp chemistry club. I guess the holidays after-effect has overwhelmed me then.. Also the craze for MDWAV too. Hee.. Joined guitar so taht i can learn how to play chong sheng. hee.. but since i got the scores from the internet, i can always play it at home. And managed to get cheap guitars thru guitar club. =X haha... @ 8:24 PM
Sprained ankle Haha. Ok, i have decided to update my blog now while my MDWAV forum page is loading.. Hee. Regarding my sprained ankle. I guess it was a good experience for me. Seriously speaking, ya.. haha. It's only when you lose something do you treasure it. I lost the luxury of walking with both legs, temporarily for a few days only ( ^_^ ), and with this, i realised how impt legs are to me. And how handicap i can get without even just a sprained ankle. Perhaps it's true. Ppl won't grow up till they have gone thru difficulties and obstacles in their lives. I'd have taken my legs for granted and wondered why ppl looks like they're in extreme pain with just sprained ankle. But now, i have experienced it for myself and in a way, it has allowed me to look at things from a different perspective.. in life, it is the things that we do not see which are the most precious things to us. the eye merely belongs to the brain; but what's us is what lies in our heart. ^_^ Tuesday, March 21, 2006 @ 7:08 PM
Sprained ankle Lolx. First day of school i sprained my ankle. First day of school last term, i lost my voice. Sigh. TJ seems to be rather accident-prone to me. And one thing i noticed, ppl in TJ seems to be down with flu, cough and all sorts of symptoms. Haha.. No time to talk le, gotta go watch show. Burnt all my online time i set aside today on MDWAV discussions.. NOw can't even update blog.. haha.. later after dinner still got series of shows to watch.. finally found new shows le.. at 10.30 and 11.30.. Nice shows now very late at nite.. -_-" @ 7:05 PM
Tian You Oh, i forgot to mention in my previous post.. So far during the hols, i watched 2 HK shows, which had Tian You's name in it.. But so sad.. all 2 shows, Tian You was a baddy.. One an unfilial child ( current 7 oclock show ), the other a flirt. Sigh.. So not MDWAV's Tian You.. -_-" Recent one i noticed yest.. Tian You was a bandit too.. -_-" sigh.. is tian you in HK supp to be a baddy name? After all, in MDWAV, tian you was a vampire too.. Sunday, March 19, 2006 @ 10:24 PM
End of sch hols. Haiz. Today marks the 10th week without MDWAV.. Sigh.. And the sad thing is that HK TV drama serials are reducing in number. From 3 hrs everyday, it's now down to 1 hr. Sigh. 9 oclock is local drama. 10o'clock is the creepy da chang jin. ( Dun ask me why it's creepy, i know it's not meant to be, just gives me the creeps, that's all. =X ) To top it off. Today is the end of sch hols too. Sigh.. Which means tomolo gotta go back to school le. Another sigh. =X But looking on the bright side of life! Hee... i'm glad that MDWAV craze is lasting in me. In fact burning even more, because i've found ppl who are interested to discuss this topic. ^_^ And also, tomolo i will be going back to TMS! Yay! So exciting.. ^-^ Haiz. Holidays din do much. wanted to compile a music CD also procrastinate until now also haven produce it yet. from last hol till this hols. haha. Can't be helped la, when i'm on the com, so tempted to research on MDWAV or chat about the show.. =X Wanted to tidy up my desks and so on. Still packed with sec sch stuffs. But.. still lazy to do so.. so my tables are still in a mess.. lolx. Procrastination is a cancer, dunno where i read from. And i sort of agree. It jsut gets worse. from benign to malignant. And soon, angiogenesis will take place, eventually, cancer cells spread in wad we call metastasis. Worse still, there's no self-destruction programme; it doesn't undergo apoptosis. Lolx. Wow, i can rmb wad i learnt in bio. Not bad, shows that my brain is working after all, despite the one week break.. ^_^ See.. Now i should be anticipating MDWAV.. Half an hour from now.. but.. It's all over.. No more MDWAV.. sigh.. And the show, mei li quan shuo 2: xing meng qi yuan ( is it? not sure =X ) is rather boring.. Though it's a 2005 ATV production, just after MDWAV and it has got MDWAV casts, such as Alice and Yuan Wei Bao.. But wells.. Recent episode din see them, so doubt i'm gonna watch.. There's just a lack of TV shows nowadays. =X P.S. My MDWAV blog has reached 60 posts! Yay! Thursday, March 16, 2006 @ 7:09 PM
Timeline Currently reading a book called Timeline. Haha.. and so qiao.. At this point of time when i'm looking at multiverse, the book has it. Time travel, the book has it. My theories of life etc are somehow supported by the book.. haha.. But one sad thing is that the book declares that time paradoxes can't exist in reality.. "In life, there's history and future. Based on current situation, we take it that we can only study the history. History is a study of the effect of human actions. And theories generates outcomes of possible events. And you can't have control of human actions. So theories doesn't hold." Whihc means that you make theoretical assumptions about human behaviour. And thus, paradoxes can't occur because you can only hav theories about what can happen. but if you were really to travel back time, you're unlikely to make any impact on anything.. Another thing i like about this book is the counterintuitive theories put forward by the author. Simply awesome. Just like the way my brain works. Haha. Just like the theories in MDWAV. Simply illogical at times. which makes it exciting.. ^_^ Time is nothing. it's just us moving forward. Time is just a constant with no value. @ 7:02 PM
Mi Qing Jia Zu Mi qing jia zu ended le. This monday. Sigh. Actually, i agree with the rest. the ending was a rather big disappointment. From the previous way the case was handled, it's really exciting and stuff. And i expected the suspense to build up to ultimately, a major conspiracy that's completely out of our imagination.. Indeed, the ultimate answer was out of my expectation, but in a disappointing manner. Previously, all the suspected murderers had complex reasons for carrying out their act and they hid their wrong-doings in the most unexpectable way. And because of their deviating from the norm act, i was able to pin-point the culprit. However, the motive of the ultimate murderer is so clinche. It's just such a normal thing to happen in the rich family. Killing for money. Sigh.. Somehow, there was a real great drop from the climax to the ending.. To think i tot that the ultimate answer would be so complex that i can't figure out. It turned out to be the other way.. The answer was that simple, that i can't believe this was just that.. Lolx. Overall, the show is ok la. Minus the ending part. i like shows that do not reflect normal way of thinking, eg. MDWAV. however, for this show, whilst this characteristic was present in the front part of the show, it diminished as the plot develops. I like it when the plot is so unexpected that no matter how i crack my head, i just can't think of the answer. However for this one, the ending was unexpected, but definitely not in the complex manner.. sigh.. Da Chang Jin coming up next. Dunno why, the show gave me lots of creep in the 1st 2 episodes. Despite mi qing jia zu being more suspense-filled, whihc brought me excitement actually.. Maybe it's time to think of things simply in a society that complicates simplicity in the name of searching for simplicity.. @ 6:52 PM
Overlooked Heard this over the radio recently. The Dj was telling a story, where it involved one character. However, halfway thru, a new character was introduced and a twist of plot arose from there. The original character sort of ceased to exist. At the end, ppl had to raise questions about the story.but all the questions were directed at the new character. In fact, no question was asked regarding the disappearance of the original character. Which brings me to this point that the DJ was trying to bring across. Sometimes, we shouldn't ask what's there, but instead look at what's missing. In life, we encounter many things and we could lose track of our goals, for good at times. However, we should always be reminded of our aim and not be overwhelmed by the happenings such taht we lose ultimately, ourselvse. I thikn that's a particularly interesting point to make. Indeed, many a times, we lose ourselves. And i agree that in life, we often look at what's there and not what's not there. But somehow, the most precious and crucial thing in life, is the thing that's not there.. It's just like family. many events can take place in our lives. Their presence can be felt. But family will always be there, and thus, we need not remind ourselves of its existence constantly. however, it is this thing that we do not purposely notice its existence that's the most precious thing in life. Some things in life are so important that we forget about them. Sounds so paradoxial.. Oh wells. It's the same reasoning as how i rate my fav actor and actress as bad actors. Because their acting skills were so good that it doesn't seem like an act to me, it's reality. Thus, they ain't acting, accounting for the bad acting skills. Which brings us to a frightening question.. are things that are kept in our memories forever the most important thing to us. Or are they ironically, the unimportant stuffs? Instead, the things that we overlook, are they the ones that truly leaves a deep impact on our lives? A point of reflection indeed... It's time to stop and look at the missing link... @ 6:42 PM
Eternal life = emptiness? I saw this question in a forum.. Would you have a eternal life if it means giving up your emotions? Actually, i used to think that having an eternal life is a sad thing. It's never-ending emptiness and loneliness.. But suddenly, i just have such a thought. If the sentence means that you've lived so long, that you've become numb, thus explaining the loss of emotions, an eternal life doesn't appear that sad after all. On a personal level, i actually don't mind being alone and be submerged in my own thoughts. After all, my way of doing things and my train of thoughts are very much deviating from the norm of society. Just that due to society, I have to force myself to come back to the path of norm. I dun like the feeling of being lonely, but that's because the definition of society somehow states that ppl should interact. It feels rotten to be left out, because of the way how others will view you as. In a sense, it's not because you really don't like that feeling, but it's because you don't like the feeling of being viewed as left out. It's kinda counterintuitive in a sense.. Suddenly, an eternal life sounds intesreting and exciting. Because time finds no value over there. You can choose to stop, move or jump forward in the non-arbitrary time. Can't really explain this in words, but an eternal life might turn out to be after all, not that sad. Perhaps from another point of view, it is not the borderless future that gives one the sceptism of eternal life. It's actually the past that one has been through that one fears eternal life. Because in a world where time finds no value, you'll find yourself reviewing past events. And that thought itself is scary. If i'm not mistaken, the 18th level of Hell is total darkness where you're just there to think about your past. No tortures, no nothing. That's just it, emptiness. So, in actual fact, it might not be the emptiness that's frightening, it's the result of the emptiness that propmts you to do endless self-reflection that's the scariest part of the deal. So oh wells, look on the bright side of life then. The truth is no more than the sceptism of life. @ 6:35 PM
Hate + like + like = like I was just thinking.. if by some circumstances, you hate something, perhaps due to someone or the surrounding. One day, you actually like the thing. But like + hate = neutralisation. Thus for like to occur, you must undergo two equation: Hate + like = neutralisation. Neutral + like = like Thus, for you to like something after hating it, it means you must have liked it doubly much. Duh! Wadevea.. Lolx. Tuesday, March 14, 2006 @ 11:31 PM
My big music project I have decided to start working on wad i've always wanted to do since last holiday.. haha.. to compile my music disc, with my favs all down into one slim CD! Previously, i was held back by a series of intensive research on MDWAV.. haha.. Now, i'm still talking alot about MDWAV, but at the same time, simultaneously i'm trying to copy songs from disc to com, and hopefully to disc agian.. Otherwise just have them in my com lorx.. for the fun of it.. ^_^ @ 11:26 PM
Gain everyhting = lose everything A sudden tot came into my mind.. In life, whenever we make a choice, we have to make a sacrifice in one way or another.. In econs, we call this sacrifice opportunity costs. So i was thinking.. For ppl who make it real high at the top.. They should have everything.. but at the same time, this also means that they lose everyhting rite? So when you gain everything, you actually lose everything. Actually though i doesn't really sound logical, but it does make a lot of sense to me.. It explains alot of things that we feel.. @ 11:22 PM
Adriano go go go Yay! Adriano got into the campus superstar.. Hmmm.. found his dancing that day not bad.. But his singing really got backslide a bit.. Perhaps he dance until panting ba.. I found the stunt where he jumped and made a 360 degree turn in mid-air particularly good. Esp since he landed with a pose as though he was strumming an electric guitar.. haha.. Yay!! Go Go all the way!! Bring pride and glory to TMS!! ^_^ Monday, March 13, 2006 @ 5:50 PM
Top in Chemistry! Yay! I've just received the letter for TMS speech day 2006!!! The thing that made me the happiest is that I'm going to receive the prize for chemistry!!!! Yay!!!!!! Haha.. My 2 years wish in TMS has been fulfiled!! Yay!!!! Let us celebrate this moment.. A brand new day awaits.. la la la la.. ^_^ Saturday, March 11, 2006 @ 11:10 PM
So sleepy Wahaha. I'm still so sleepy now.. Despite sleeping for like dunno how many hours? Haha.. Woke up at 9++. Went online and downloaded games.. Then ate lunch and slept from2 to 6. Later on, had my show marathon as usual.. haha.. Weird thing is that i'm feeling tired still after such long hours of relaxation and sleep.. Yawn! @ 11:29 AM
Officially lost my voice.. again.. Ok i forgot to say this just now! haha. I officially lost my voice.. Again! But the thing is that it's not due to bronchitis this time!! It's because i screamed till i lost my voice.. haha.. and i feel happy about this!! Woo!!! I know this is weird, but since when have i not been weird? Lolx. Feels great to just do something w/o thinking of consequence.. If i had held back myself because i were afraid of losing my voice, i won't get the thrill of screaming on top of my lungs.. ^_^ It's just wow! @ 11:27 AM
Johari window
Dominant Traits53% of people think that Yan Shan is cheerful All Percentagesable (6%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (6%) brave (0%) calm (20%) caring (33%) cheerful (53%) clever (40%) complex (0%) confident (33%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (46%) extroverted (0%) friendly (60%) giving (0%) happy (26%) helpful (20%) idealistic (0%) independent (6%) ingenious (6%) intelligent (53%) introverted (0%) kind (6%) knowledgeable (20%) logical (6%) loving (6%) mature (0%) modest (26%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (13%) patient (6%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (6%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (6%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (13%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (20%) warm (6%) wise (0%) witty (6%) Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 11.3.2006, using data from 15 respondents. You can make your own Johari Window, or view Yan Shan's full data. @ 11:13 AM
Enlightenment I know the reason why le.. I was walking past a part of the compound one day.. I simply walked on.. I was walking past a part of the compound one day.. There was a feeling of excitement and anticipation.. So i see.. it is this special feeling that keeps me emotionally bonded.. Yes.. Suddenly realisation I'm enlightened @ 10:54 AM
Looking forward as CG 01/06 I'm glad i remained in CG01/06. The decision to choose triple science again is the rightest decision made siah. I can see those disappointed faces from people around me who changed their combi and was posted to another class. As well as how they were on the verge of breaking down over the phone.. If i din make that last minute decision, i think i'd snap apart completely.. I'm not someone who can accept changes, and so i'm so not gonna adapt to the new class lorx.. I think i can better cope the workload stress than the mental stress of possibly being left out in the new class.. Anyway, our class remains mainly unchanged. 3 out, 5 in.. Sigh.. Actually i'd wish that there's on one going out at all.. Haiz. Let it remain as a complete class. But anyway, in life, nothing is certain, only uncertainty is certain.. At least we remained as largely our original class. Haha.. ^_^ I'm looking forward to my new life. And guess what? I dun feel like dropping triple science, even after the common test. Haha. Because I like challenges and the feeling of being over-stretched. As long as i dun snap apart, i'm ready to take up the challenge.. Suddenly, the combi seems exciting to me.. Wahaha! 2 years to test my resilience, and i'm not prepared to give up.. Because.. Believe and it can be, don't believe and it can't be! @ 10:35 AM
Orientation 2 Ah.. The end of orientation 2 and term 1! So many things happened during the last week manz. Well. To kick things off, we had orientation beginning this monday. Basically, it was a school-based event meant to serve as a mean for 2nd intakers and 1st intakers to bond together and feel emotionally attached to TJ. The event consisted mainly of mass dances, talks and ice-breaker games. Overall, they were fun. Wahaha. And now i can explain why i'm a vampire mummy. Lolx. Cause, i was the mummy for the mummy game, and thus was wrapped. Next, for the flour games, i dunked my whole head into the flour and still can't get the sweet. So ultimately, I had the flour all over my face and my hair. So instantly, i was sort of transformed into a power-uped vampire in MDWAV. haha.. HOwever, one setback of the orientation was that the attendance was appalling. haha. FOr our OG, the main ppl who turned up were from CG01/06. ( My class leh.. ) So three cheers for them man! Quite ironical-sounding. Our class was deemed as the nerd class by others, yet we were those that were enthu enuff to turn up for this event. Haha.. O-nite was yesterday and basically, i find that it wasn't really that exciting. As in, after we've been thru the 1st o-nite, we sort of expected what would be on le, so there's a reduced level of sense of anticipation. ANyway, Zenith won the talentime champion alongside with another clan, forgot wihch le! All thanks to our campus superstar girl. Haha. I think they din even need to judge her lorx, it's expected she'll win de. That's why immediately after she sung, the results came out le. Almost instantaneously. THen there was the rock band. As usual. Haha. Actually, it's almost like o1 la.. What touched me most however was the video that started the o nite off. It screened the OGL camps, our mass dance training as well the effort put in by the SCIP. Later, there was anotehr video on the events that we've been thru for the last 4 days. While i was in the midst of all these activities, i din realise the amount of things we've been thru together. However, the video simply captured the best moments of the orientation and reminded us of the bonds that we have forged during the last 4 days. The sheer magnitude of the touchiness is rather overwhelming i must say. That's the best thing that i rmb of the orientation ba.. Sometimes in life, we don't treasure things as we pass thru it. Even as we look back, we remember nothing. But things have happened for a reason, feelings have been felt and will stay forever. Few years down the road, it doesn't matter wat we rmb, it is whether we find it worth remembering. Because memories can fade off, but feelings will never do so.. Tuesday, March 07, 2006 @ 8:53 PM
Triple science, final decision I've finally made my final decision -- TRIPLE SCIENCE. Yes, it's that pyschotic combi that teachers, students and us ourselves know it as.. Haha... Actually i feel very relieved now.. I've finally made my choice. And a right one at that. I'm really feeling glad and all. Before i made my decision to do triple science, i was intending to drop bio. Yeah. For the whole day, there was this tightness in my heart. I dunno why. Worried or something? Indeed, there would be many factors that can make me worried.. About new class, about the risk i'd incur by taking the minimum requirement, teachers, etc. Yeah. It'd all be a brand new experience for me. But now, triple science. Yes! I've been through this. And i'll get to stick with my CG mates! Yay! Quite familiar with the teachers. And it keeps our choices open! As in, we can drop the sub we dun wan later on when we've finally seen thru which is the one that we can't cope. Instead of taking a sub, not coping and changing completely.. ( Dun think allowed too.. ) Now, since i've decided to take this road.. It's time for me to adjust my mindset le. Dun resist anything that comes my way. Anyway, i dun need to resist anything le cause there's not a need to choose, at least short-term speaking.. haha.. I'm relieved now that i dun have to tell myself "I dun like bio", so that i can make a choice to drop it! Haha.. Which brings me back to the usual me that's ever so excited by the 3 sciences.. And i know that in this combi, i gotta work super hard. And i'm prepared for that.. Cause.. i can still watch the 7 o'clock show! Cause it'd during my dinner anyway. Back to topic, 9 o'clock show end le, and the new one was so ---- till i slept for the 1st episode.. ( some more overslept, make me miss 15 mins of mi qing jia zu.. sigh.. ) So this means one more hour for me. Aiya, means i gonna cut down on my TV shows. Haha.. Enuff of playing for the first 3 months le.. Where TV was my life and school was a secondary thing. That's why i keep complaining of the amt of workload, cause i have to squeeze out time to do hm after the average 4 hr TV every nite. Haha.. So.. School will officially start. School will take priority. TV will be my form of entertainment, not my life. Haha. Which means that the workload will seem to be reduced relatively.. ^_^ Though the real amt of work might grow.. Ok, nvm.. haha.. It's just a matter of mentality.. Lolx.. If i'm set on this route.. I have to reorganise my JC life le. I might wanna quit guitar and take up Sci Co. If i'm determined to do science, whihc i firmly believe i am.. Actually i dunno wad i'm doing. I had painted a clear picture of my future b4 entering JC.. Triple science and sci Co. BUt i had to make one big round and finally return to this initial decision of mine. HOw i wished i did join SciCo initially.. Everything would turn out fine.. Sad thing was that i was in a holiday mood that time.. so ya.. din wnana get to Pyscho.. Lolx.. Now i'm settled in.. It's time for me to root myself in TJ le.. Haha.. And i still miss TMS.. Anw, this will serve as a motivating factor to keep me going.. Cause.. Well.. Actually, i'm much more confident about triple science now.. Yeah. Much more than in Jan when i made my choice. Cause i had a feel of it, and if i were to truely reflect, i really liked it.. I was just in too much of a slacky mood previously, so kinda resisting the timetable.. But now, i'm ready.. I'm making an informed choice and i'm ready.. Triple science.. Here I come.. ANd sigh.. Gotta bide goodbye to my weekly MDWAV research le.. But the craze won't die down. It still lives on in my heart! Yay! I'm still deeply affected by the show. Haha.. Alright, such a disorganised entry. Dunno wad i'm talking about. Anyway, just feeling very excited for Triple Science experience la.. Haha.. Go Go GO!!!!! My Mi Qing Jia Zu coming up soon..!!! ^_^ Monday, March 06, 2006 @ 11:56 PM
Thank MDWAV I thank MDWAV. Yes, call me crazy. Call me absurd. But the songs are currently helping me sort out my tots. They're my ling2 hun2 zhi1 zhu4. Spiritual Support, direct translation. It has bestowed upon me strength. To stop wishy-washy=ing. I just need some clear thinking.. I will take some time now to reflect.. @ 11:51 PM
Lost with no directions.. I'm so lost now. I'm so confused now. I dunno where I should head. I dun think I have ever felt so lsot before. Things are driving me crazy. Choices have to be made. Am I brave enough? @ 11:17 PM
My Sub combi?? Do you call this the "retribution"? Alright, when we were donig the first sub combi matters, it was rather easy for me to come to a decision. triple science. That's that. I did not have to bother myself over wad science to take. Whether Econs should be at H1 or H2. Whereas everyone else was like frantically trying to make a decision. And guess what? What comes around goes around. you get a moment of joy, as well as a moment of bitterness. Now, others just gotta click on their previous sub combi. And us, this group of ppl from the suicide combi group, gotta think till some of us are on the verge of tears.. Rmbering this line said by one of our Cg-mate, which i agree a lot.. "I'm only 16!! Why must i make such a decision?" At this point of time.. I really wanna do one thing.. That is just SCREAM! My goodness, when have I ever felt so lost in my life!?!? Perhaps taking triple sci was the most stupid thing that I could have ever done. It generates alot of many other combis that can arise from it and that's why a choice has to be made now. Contrary to others, who made their impt choice for the 1st 3 months and had to time to try it out, we have to make the decision now. And what's the worst part of the deal? There's no second chance. Absolutely no! DREAM ON! THis final combi i'll be choosing willl ultimately determine my future path. Yeah. AT this moment, the most impt sub to me is chemistry. I can say the one and only. Apparently, my passion for other sci sub wasn't strong enough to take the test of the triple sci combi.. CHemistry. I think it's gonna be my life from now onwards. But guess wad? The teacher just broke my idea of donig 2 H3 Chemistry. She said it's almost impossible.. Haiz.. I was prepared to completely give up bio just to focus everything on Chemistry and the sad fact is that my sudden determination has been shattered by just a word. "No". What i fear most is whether my passion for chem can really remain strong at the end of the day. And you konw waht's the most fearful thing currently? THat i'm actually having such tots ( previous sentence ) indicates the beginnign of the tot itself.. BUT BUT.. I still rmb those words.. "Find out what you really want and go all out for it. Once you set your mind on something, You'll be able to achieve it." Yes, CHEMISTRY! Here I come! NOthing will stand in my way, stop me, trip me or what. I'm jsut gonna climb up, get on my feet, and run through the race, eventualy reaching the final destination.. If i should really drop, i'll be dropping bio. You know what? I dunno if i'm just deluding myself. I'm always saying that i like molecular bio, that's why i'm doing bio now. That's why i'm still having tots about triple science. But.. Actually.. Tracing back to history, i started off having no interest in DNA at all.. I dunno whether i truely like genetics now, or am i just subconsciously trying to convince myself that i like this area of studies. Haiz. Physics.. My other sci choice.. But.. I'm scared.. What if at the end of the day, i realise that my interest truely lie in bio??? Oh no! If i should make a wrong choice. OH no! Yes, I'll incur an opportunity cost no matter what I do, I agree.. The prob is how do i face up with the consequences?? Physics.. Yeah! I'm liking it more and more and more. More than bio anyway.. Alright.. I need to think.. Yes.. Sunday, March 05, 2006 @ 11:18 AM
TV shows Haiz. It seems that the TV stations are lacking of good shows recentlly.. It has been 8 long weeks since I last saw a vampire show.. As in a show dedicated to vampires. Not those that shows vampires for a while only... 7 o'clock show started off fine. Qi Juan Ren Jian. I tot it's a show which uses logic to explain supernatural happenings. At least that was how the show started as. Later on.. It's turned out to be a show with absurd plots and mystical powers. Totally un-real. Haha.. I prefer those shows that makes unrealistic plots look so real that you thought that the world is actually the real world that you live in. Not shows that will make you think everything is just a show with all the mystical stuffs happening.. Haha. So at the end of the day, i just wanna point to the fact that I like MDWAV. Lolx. 9 o'clock show ended le. Lu zheng XIn Ren Wang. It was an ok show. Better than the 7 o'clock one. Explores friendship, betrayal, relationships, emnity, as well as human greed and stupidity. The deepest impression that I have of the show would be the deep relationship forged among the 4 lawyers.. of how SiJia always trusted WeiMing and gave him complete support in spite of his wrong-doings. She was forgiving and always stood by his side, whether or not he did appreciate her effort. Giving without expecting anything in return is an invaluable trait i see in her. And this ultimately touched WeiMing and guided him back on the right path of life. of how one should think with their hearts too, not just the brain. Le Bin felt for his client and fought from the bottom of his heart. Being compassionate, he did not discrimate WeiMing for doing wrong to him. Instead, he treasured their friendship and sincerely hoped that he'd return to light one day. At the end of the day, he defended WeiMing and manged to clear him of his murder crime. of how there's always a chance for the wrong-doers to return to the right path. WeiMing did err. But he realised his mistake and tried to redemm himself. When he committed another crime again, murder, it was due to his love for SiJia and his anxiety to protect her from harm. It was a wrong move, but how can we deem him as a criminal because of that? he committed a wrong for a right cause.. of how someone who's strong might be weak after all. The 4th person of the cohort. She seemed strong, but still collapsed in the face of her friend's death. Actually sometimes, the one that seems that strongest is actually the one that needs support the most.. 10 o-clock show is a detective show! Yay! Mi Qing Jia Zu!! Alright la. I mean the mystery is complex, but not sufficient enough to keep me enthralled by the intricate details. The fun thing is that you wouldn't know who the mastermind is til the last minute. I did manage to solve each mystery posted, but still, the person i guessed is merely the key to another door hiding the face of the real mastermind. So in a way, the show is one of the few excellent detective shows I have ever seen. But i still prefer Kindaichi, cause i can't even crack the case. Haha.. But sad la.. 6 more episodes only.. Sigh.. @ 10:56 AM
Horoscope It's rather frightening how true horoscopes might be at times.. Just at this point of time when i need to decide whether or not to continue with my subject combi, I came across this prediction for scorpio.. Whenever there's opportunities coming your way, you will try to grab everyone of them. However, you do not have the time. So it is better to concentrate on just a few Isn't this just the best representation of my current situation and dilemma. Should I follow this timely advice from the horoscope? I came across another one elsewhere too. Finally the long-awaited break has come. It's a time for you to do what you've always wanted to do, and to let yourself relax. Lolx. That's like a bit too mych of a coincidence? Haha.. Here's another one.. Always look on the bright side of life. Thigns will then turn out betta.. Hmm.. At that point of time, i was thikning about things in a relatively negative manner.. Which brings me back to the topic of being at the crossroad.. Not knowing where to go.. Should i let just one short para of advice determine the path I take? Or must I go through another painfully long process of decision-making? Friday, March 03, 2006 @ 11:05 PM
The uncertainties 8 weeks without MDWAV... Oh wells. Haha. Yes, my craze has apparently not died down, though I'm anchoring myself more on the reality world. Lolx. Anyway, today's the posting day and I got into TJ! Yay! So the 12 years of Temasek tradition will become a reality and I'll be one of the lucky few to enjoy this privilege. Lolx. that's like 3/4 of my life as a Temasekian? Haha.. So the next big decision up on the list.. My sub combi.. Remain as triple science? Or just concentrate on some subjects? But anyway.. Sometimes in life, we need to strike a definite balance among many things. But the definite is undefinable. Unpredictable. Yet the fact is undeniable. At crossroads, there's many external and internal factors that we need to consider when making choices or taking any actions.. Sometimes, I just hope that things can just be simpler. When things get shaking and fragile, we sort of lose our C.G. In this way, we're in an unpredictable situation where we might fall, rise or remain at our same height. All these possibilities are uncertain.. And guess what's one's greatest fear? Of the unknown.. |